If I Only Knew how awful this fanfic was I would have avoided it like the plague!

The other day I was on Fanfiction.net and I came across a stupid story called If I Only Knew here's the link:

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The story starts off with Germany and Italy is in a relationship, but there's a problem: Italy has been having nightmares. Why well, that's what the aduiance and Germany would like to know so Germany demands Italy to explain:

Quote :

"Italy tell me now" Germany replied.

"Y-Yes sir. When I w-was 14 I-I was kidnapped and abused. Ummm actually I was r-raped and abused and I-I was even pregnant at a time but the abuser c-cut me open when the baby was grown enough and k-killed her." Italy started to tear up as he remembered Russia killing his daughter who he had named Venice.

Germany just sat there for a minute gazing at Italy.

"Who was the abuser?" Germany asked.

"Umm N-No one" Italy said.

Germany got angrier at Italy's refusal.

"Italy tell me NOW!'' Germany bellowed.

Italy began to cry and he thought about what might happen, but he decided to tell Germany anyways.

"Russia"

So as it turns out, Russia kidnapped Italy when he was 14, raped him, got him pregnant, and made him abort the baby! Yikes! That kind of thing is nightmare inducing poor Italy! Germany than asks Italy if Russia raped him before and we get this:

Quote :

"When was the last time he raped you Italy. Tell me now." Germany said waiting for the response.

"H-he umm did It to me a m-month ago after the world meeting." Italy said trying to get out of Germany's tight grip. Germany placed a hand on Italy's stomach and pushed on it just enough to let his hand sank in.

"OWW! Owww Germany Ahhh Please! It Hurts!" Italy screeched as Germany pressed on Italy's lower stomach. Germany looked up at him and let Italy go. He rubbed his forehead and turned around so he wasn't facing Italy. He turned back and started to walk towards Italy. The Italian backed up but found himself against the wall as Germany reached for him and picked him up. He took Italy to his car and placed him in the passenger's seat.

"Germany where are we going?" Italy asked while rubbing his stomach. Italy didn't know why Germany had felt his stomach.

"We are just going for a drive Italy" Yet the German knew exactly where he was going.

Russia's house.

So naturally Germany and Italy are going to Russia's house to confront him Right?:

Quote :

"What does Germany and Italy want, da?" Russia asked while casually putting his pipe in his other hand watching Italy as he did so. Germany took Italy's shoulders with both hands and looked down at him then at Russia. He then pushed Italy into Russia. Russia caught Italy just in time before he would of end up with another scraped knee.

"I-I-Ivan! G-Get away!" Italy screamed as Russia held onto Italy and helped him up. Russia squeezed Italy's arm harder at the sound of his real name being used.

"Germany what was that for, da?" Russia asked as he took Italy's other arm and held both of them.

"I thought you might want to know that urm… Italy is pregnant… with your child." Germany said angrily looking at Italy he slid down Russia and onto the ground as he heard the news.

"What? Italy I thought we agreed no children, da!" Russia said picking Italy up bridal style.

"G-Germany help m-me" Italy said.

"Nein" Germany said.

Italy looked shocked he started to tremble as Germany walked to his car.

"Russia he's your responsibility now" Germany said as he got into his car and drove off.

WHAT?!?! You're dropping your boyfriend off at his attacker's house because he was raped and pregnant with the rapist's child?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?!!! DICK MOVE GERMANY DICK MOVE!!!!

Oh, and according to the author's note and I quote: "Germany has found out about Russia's abusiveness. He plans to catch Russia during this and get him in trouble, but the only way to do that is hand a pregnant Italy over to Russia. Will Germany win?"

So, the only way Germany can prove Russia has been abusing Italy is to hand him over to Russia? You know whatever happened to going to cops or whatever authorities that handle grievances among the nations? I'm sure that Italy's testimony and a paternity test would be more than enough to convict him! When I read that chapter and saw the author's note was basically this: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

So sexytimes happen and we get this lovely little snippet:

Quote :

"Ah Ahhh Oh OO R-R-Russia!" Italy said as he was pounded in his sweet spot mercilessly. Russia smiled and continued to pound Italy. They were both drunk from celebrating the meeting which was actually just a get together for America and England's kid's birthday. Russia finally came into Italy holding himself in for just a while until Italy dropped onto the bed and pulled him down with him. Russia had indeed raped Italy, but they were drunk so Italy didn't care.

Really? Italy didn't care that Russia just raped him? It's not like Russia lost his boner mid-fuck or came too soon, he raped him for God's sake! I'd like to think people WOULD care if they had just gotten raped! Do you even know what rape is you dumb ass author?

Italy then makes a startling revelation:

Quote :

Italy looked up into the purple eyes of his baby's father. For some reason he could feel it to his heart started to pound… He…

He loved Russia.

Actually Italy what you are feeling for Russia is not love. It's Stockholm Syndrome.

So, Russia proposes to Italy they get married and Italy has twin and they live happily ever after! This story is a stupid, logic free pile of shit! It is devoid of logic and good taste, and anyone who likes this fanfic should be sentenced to walking across Legos for all eternity! Also, off topic but dose anyone know how to do a live journal cut? I have looked up several tutorials online as to how to do so, but I can't get it to work. I'd soo love to rip this story a new one on a sporking group but you need to do a cut if it talks about rape so if someone could help me I'd be grateful. Now, to go drink the memory of this pile of literary shit out of my memory...

... So, we're... NOT talking about whole pieces of landmass(es) but instead people named (conveniently) Germany, Italy, Russia... etc?

Reidmar wrote:

... So, we're... NOT talking about whole pieces of landmass(es) but instead people named (conveniently) Germany, Italy, Russia... etc?

Welcome to the fabulous world of Axis Powers Hetalia.

Reidmar wrote:

... So, we're... NOT talking about whole pieces of landmass(es) but instead people named (conveniently) Germany, Italy, Russia... etc?

Axis Hetalia Powers is a show about characters who are the living persona of the nation they represent.

{lj-cut text="Text you want displayed"}Hugeass teal deer text you don't want us to see right away and that's why you want to put it under a LJ cut; moreover, there's a lot of rape talk in this so you might want to hide it somehow{/lj-cut}

Replace {} by <>. Should work.

..... The fuck just happened?!

StandupShady wrote:

..... The fuck just happened?!

I don't know what do you mean?

Empress_Suzuka88 wrote:

StandupShady wrote:

..... The fuck just happened?!

I don't know what do you mean?

A reference to how WTF that entire fic was.

W-w-wait g-guys, w-why d-d-does Italy s-s-suddenly s-stammer like a n-neurotic g-g-gradeschooler?

Brain damage. Clearly.

StandupShady, I was pretty sure you meant the WTFERY of that shitfic, but I was pretty out of it, I was barely conscious and drugged up on NyQuil, due to this bitch of a cold I am currently suffering from! I just recently found out that moron wrote a sequel [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Any takers on this pile of dog shit? I'd spork it myself, but right now I am literately and figuratively too sick and tired to want to touch it right now! I must warn you folks, it as bad as the first one, if not worse! It contains shota, violence,rape, and massive stupidity! Its like chick is trying to be as bad Beatrice The Golden! For those of you who don't know,Beatrice The Golden a Hetalia fanfiction author infamous for writing stories involving shota, rape, egg laying(yes, you read right egg laying) and a fic involving America getting fucked up the ass by the whale he befriended! If no one sporks the sequel tomorrow, I'll do it. But for right now, I'm going to bed!

I'd touch it, but I'm currently listening to Zyclon B, and am afraid the sheer win of the music video, mixed with the sheer insanity of that fic's sequel, will destroy my brain.

Empress_Suzuka88 wrote:

a fic involving America getting fucked up the ass by the whale he befriended!

I am so amused by that sentence...

"That looks like the personification of first-world country," the whale mused as it fell, "I wonder if it would fuck me."

StandupShady wrote:

Empress_Suzuka88 wrote:

a fic involving America getting fucked up the ass by the whale he befriended!

I am so amused by that sentence...

Just as long as you're not the one being fucked by the whale I suppose? Or is that a fantasy of yours?

Empress_Suzuka88 wrote:

StandupShady wrote:

Empress_Suzuka88 wrote:

a fic involving America getting fucked up the ass by the whale he befriended!

I am so amused by that sentence...

Just as long as your not the one being fucked by the whale I suppose? Or is that a fantasy of yours?

*You're

Also: Can we get a saucer of milk over here?

I think Empress_Suzuka thinks I'm laughing at him rather than the fic.

Sorry, the mental image of a whale raping America is funny.

I'm so kewl I troll without noticing it.

StandupShady wrote:

I think Empress_Suzuka thinks I'm laughing at him rather than the fic.

Sorry, the mental image of a whale raping America is funny.

I'm so kewl I troll without noticing it.

Nope, just teasing you!Nice try though, but Troll harder.Be like our retarded friend who wrote this story and its sequel which sporking is here: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

if You think this story's funny, you'll find this one hilarious! Also, I'm a girl. Empresses are girls Emperors are boys. I chose the name of my fangirl crush of Twilight Suzuka from Outlaw Star.

Empress_Suzuka88 wrote:

Quote :

Italy looked up into the purple eyes of his baby's father. For some reason he could feel it to his heart started to pound… He…

He loved Russia.

Actually Italy what you are feeling for Russia is not love. It's Stockholm Syndrome.

The historical accuracy of this disturbs me. Does the plot in the show somehow follow world's history, or stuff just happens? Because if it was something like this:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

it'd be great.

Now, I'm not exactly in to the animes, but I thought Hetalia was about a bunch of ambiguously homosexual stereotypes running about having zany adventures which loosely represented historical events. How would sexual assault fit into that exactly?

Ugh... I'm gonna ruin my 666th post to post this... but What the hell is with all the new registered Users in the past three days? Sock incoming?

Ah, the "Rape is Love" trope! I doubt I'll ever understand how people can think this shit is romantic, especially the forced abortion from the beginning. By the way, why is Italy allowed to keep this baby but not the earlier one? What all has changed to make Russia want to raise this rape baby when he clearly had no feelings for the other one? *Sigh* I guess it's the power of wapist twu wub again.