Nephilim Lamedh: Hell Is Other Dickgirls

Zeiss: let me find some spork music
Zeiss: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Zeiss: Okay, fire at will.
Delcat: Okay, so...this thing on? Okay, so Zeiss and I are bored so we're bumping up our snark count by doing this random thing we found on /d/. We've only seen two pages, we know it involves futanari, but that's about it. It's our first double-blind snark, folks! We're as clueless as you are!
Zeiss: Sounds good to me
Delcat: So here we go!
Zeiss: YAY

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Zeiss: Ew, I gotta put this down. It's all Linty.
Delcat: N...Neditin...Lampoh? What does that even say?
Zeiss: It says "We ripped this off from Bible Black."
Delcat: But will it be as entertaining if we put Yakety Sax over it and speed it up?
Zeiss: hmmm
Zeiss: We shall have to try.
Delcat: I didn't know dickgirls had their own gender symbol. Very progressive. I approve.
Zeiss: When you see it, you'll shit dicks.
Delcat: The trap gender symbol is animated. Fifteen straight seconds of a female symbol, then a half-second flash of male.
Zeiss: "Adult only"? This is trying so hard to be Japanese it even gets the Engrish in order.
Delcat: That's a pretty standard tag on Japanese adult manga, actually. JAPANESE. WHICH THIS IS NOT.

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Delcat: I swear, the longer I look at that font, the less sense it makes.
Zeiss: I remember seeing "For Adults Only" on some doujin cover once. It was probably the first time I've ever cheered at porn.
Delcat: It kind of devolves into a writhing Lovecraftian fractal and then I have to blink a bunch before Nylarhotep comes to take me away.
Zeiss: Nephilim is missing the Peter Gabriel albums, for whatever reason.

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Delcat: ...so...her name is actually Linty.
Delcat: She's just a ball of lint in Evil's navel.
Zeiss: OH GOD IT'S TRYING TO INSERT CHRISTIAN SYMBOLISM
Zeiss: RUN
Zeiss: So I guess that this guy was like "You know what Good Omens needed? DICKGIRLS."
Delcat: I was about to ask what gender these people were, but OH YEAH EVERYONE'S A FUTA IN THIS WORLD.
Delcat: Don't even JOKE about that, man, don't even JOKE.
Zeiss: OH I LIKE THAT BOOK TOO
Zeiss: IF THIS FIC WAGES WAR AGAINST ME I AM BRINGING YOU IN FOR BACKUP
Delcat: Think Alex is supposed to look like the protagonist from Girl Genius? 'Cause the resemblance is remarkable and disturbing.
Delcat: I WILL BE THE AZIRAPHALE TO YOUR CROWLEY ANY DAY, DARLING
Delcat: or is it the other way around
Zeiss: I do kinda see what quamp meant by "sweater meat", now, though.
Zeiss: FUTAAAA BABIES MAKIN' OUR DREAMS COME TRUE
Delcat: True story: At a drag party at my sister's college, one really clueless guy took "sweater puppies" entirely the wrong way and stuffed a pair of sweaters in his shirt. Looked terrible.

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Delcat: Is...is she holding a giant condom in her mouth?
Zeiss: Is the art trying to be Azumanga Daioh now? I told you it was tring too hard.
Delcat: You can tell which one is the daddy lesbian because she has smaller boobs and is unemotional
Zeiss: ah shit i left my lesbian field guide at home
Delcat: LESBIANSPOTTING AND YOU: A BEGINNER'S GUIDE
Delcat: So...is not erasing sketch lines cool now? Is that what the cool kids do?
Delcat: 'Cause it's making my eyes itch.
Zeiss: Hey, go easy, it's about the only thing in the art not ripped off from the animu.
Delcat: Hey, I think I just spotted the artist! Check the fat dude!
Zeiss: ...Is that a talking onion in panel 5?
Delcat: I would read a manga about a talking onion.
Delcat: Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if there WAS a manga about a talking onion.
Zeiss: And like he'd always make people cry and he wouldn't understand why.
Delcat: ...that is so sad :<
Delcat: Sorry, feeling more for imaginary onions than the protagonist, where were we?
Zeiss: GRAVE OF THE ONION FRIES
Delcat: The size of her head in the last panel is downright terrifying. Hide it from me now.

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Zeiss: "Hope I don't get any balls in the face today!" LITTLE DOES SHE KNOW...
Delcat: I really thought that was a giant uniboob for a second in the first panel. It's not that far off from some of the other tits.
Delcat: Wait, is that school bus flying? MS. FRIZZLE, NO!
Zeiss: Seriously, what the hell is wrong with the last panel.
Zeiss: I don't think tits bend like that
Delcat: It was badly traced from a sports manga, then had tits slapped on it?
Zeiss: oh DO NOT BRING THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS INTO THIS
Zeiss: NO
Delcat: "Everyone inside, children! Today we're going to learn about futanari puberty!"
Delcat: And then the lizard does something silly with a dildo :D
Zeiss: oh fuck you FUCK YOU
Zeiss: THIS IS NOT AN ACCEPTABLE FORM OF REVENGE
Zeiss: WE NEVER DID THIS AT MY OLD SCHOOL
Delcat: I HAVE FINALLY DISCOVERED YOUR WEAKNESS, BWAHAHA
Zeiss: NO YOU HAVEN'T
Zeiss: SHUT UP
Delcat: Didn't you ever wonder what Arnold's secret was? Why he was so irritable and whiny? HE WAS ON HIS PERIOD.
Zeiss: HIS WULWA WAS BLEEDING ALL THAT TIME
Delcat: As a side note, haven't any of these girls heard of sports bras? That HAS to hurt.
Zeiss: They're protected by their sketch lines.

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Zeiss: good god the art
Zeiss: At least Ono could draw trees.
Delcat: This is bringing back ugly memories. I seriously always left school crying on the days we did volleyball. It was so fucking awful D:
Delcat: BUT I NEVER SPROUTED A DICK
Zeiss: We literally spent two goddamn months on volleyball every year in high school gym.
Zeiss: I still have no idea how volleyball works.
Delcat: Step 1: You make a feeble attempt to get the ball over the net
Delcat: Step 2: You fail
Delcat: Step 3: Everyone hates you
Delcat: Step 4: ISSUES
Zeiss: For our second panel, Linty will be played by Double D from Ed, Edd & Eddy
Zeiss: Honestly, the secret to gym is just to pretend to do shit.
Delcat: So THAT'S what's under the hat--a dick!
Zeiss: He's like the phallic version of Alfalfa.
Delcat: ...Zeiss, I know I'm Yume Nikki-obsessed lately, but that first panel... [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Zeiss: It looks more like Awesome Face to me.
Delcat: I know one of the prevailing theories is that Madotsuki is a transsexual, but this is taking it too far.
Zeiss: Or one of those things from Princess Mononoke.
Delcat: I thought of that too, fff.
Delcat: WHATEVER IT IS IT AIN'T HUMAN

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Zeiss: HUMOR
Delcat: Well, at least we're agreed on one front.
Zeiss: It's only special because someone screwed up the foreshortening on the hexangle.
Delcat: What's it even supposed to mean? Does that have any significance, or is it just a random symbol?
Zeiss: It's like when you would try to draw cool geometric things on your binder, but then you get the lines all wrong and GODDAMNIT
Delcat: God where's the creepy kid with the encyclopedic knowledge of arcane symbols from Umineko no Naku Koro Ni when you need her
Delcat: She'd be all like "THAT'S THE HEXANGLE OF SAMAEL, NYUUU~" and quote a meaningful Scripture passage
Zeiss: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Zeiss: The Pseudo-Hexagram or irregular third form.

The pseudo-Hexagram an irregular third form, sometimes employed to denote the presidency of the Sun and Moon over the 4 Elements united in and proceeding from the Spirit.
Delcat: Yeah sure, but do you have a Cute Li'l Fang?
Zeiss: It means cocks. Cocks are what it means.
Delcat: Thank you, Zeiss.
Delcat: It makes much more sense now.

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Zeiss: That's not a clit, it's a tongue.
Delcat: Uh, yeah. The REAL response to that would be like...like if your dick suddenly turned green. Screaming, flailing, crying. This guy has never spoken to a woman in his life, I wager.
Zeiss: And oh wow, it turns into a bananaclit.
Delcat: Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, bananaclit!
Zeiss: That's how it always works in these kinds of things. The first response is always OH WELL TIME TO FAP I GUESS.
Zeiss: boop boop a doopadoo
Delcat: Ping pong ping pong ping pong ping, pananaclit!
Delcat: It's got this feeling, so appealing
Delcat: For us to get together and fap, fap!
Delcat: It's the best, beats the rest!
Delcat: Tubular, groovular, touch-it-and-it-spooge-ular
Zeiss: i've got this one
Zeiss: ffffff you beat me there
Delcat: :D
Zeiss: let me try a verse
Delcat: Shoot, dude.
Zeiss: Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, bananaclit
Zeiss: Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding, donanacliiiiiiiiit
Zeiss: It comes from bracelets
Zeiss: Go out and face it
Zeiss: It's a trip! Going 'fwip'!
Zeiss: Erogenous, montagenous, flick it and oh-god-zheness
Zeiss: Boop boop a doopadoo
Delcat: *golf clap*
Zeiss: oh man we do have fun don't we
Delcat: Funny how the more fun we have, the more we're ignoring the subject matter...
Delcat: Oh man, I just gotta do the bridge, sorry.
Zeiss: go ahead
Delcat: Don't need quarters, don't need dimes to fuck a whore of mine
Delcat: Don't need computer or TV to have a real good time
Delcat: I'll fuck a pizza, I'll fuck my cat
Delcat: I'll fuck in the White House, how 'bout that
Delcat: I'll fuck chicks all around the world
Delcat: Operator get me Bei-jing-jing-jing...
Zeiss: *applause*
Delcat: It's sad how little of that I had to change.

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Zeiss: DURRRRRF I GOTS A CLIT
Delcat: God, that'd hurt. The clit is really sensitive, direct stimulation is painful if you're not really fucking careful.
Zeiss: "That whiney voice"? Shit, must be Skillet.
Zeiss: You are forgetting one key fact
Zeiss: And that is that it's a *magic* clit
Delcat: Ah, but of course. And gorram I did not need that mental image, Zeiss.
Zeiss: I'm trying to figure out panel 2
Zeiss: There isn't a person in the world who would fap like that. Ever.
Delcat: Me too. I mean, as Japanese as this and they have Western-style toilets? For shame!
Delcat: Er, uh, I mean, that's weird too
Zeiss: ....Is it a *magic* toilet, though?
Delcat: NOOOOOOOOOOO
Zeiss: SHE AND HER DICK WILL LOVE EACH OTHER FOREVER NOW
Zeiss: wait
Delcat: I can't get over the PADAPOOM DICKNAO panel. I mean...foreskins are just that, foreskins, covering the fore of the dick. There's not room for AN ANOTHER FUCKING COCK in them.
Zeiss: *MAGIC* FORESKIN
Delcat: a cock thicker than her NECK
Zeiss: oh shit you're right
Delcat: Oh God just...I don't even wanna look at it, turning the page now

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Delcat: AUGH NO I WANNA GO BACK THIS IS WORSE
Zeiss: YOU LITTLE SHIT YOU'RE IN IT NOW I HOPE THEY THROW AWAY YOUR DICK
Delcat: YOU COULD'VE FAPPED FOR ME MORE OFTEN THAN YOU DID, BUT NO!
Zeiss: YA HAD TO FAP YOUR OWN WAY, HAVE YOU BROKEN ANY TOILETS LATELY
Delcat: JUST FIVE MINUTES, WORM, YOUR HONOR--HIR, ME, ALONE
Zeiss: fuck we can just go to the next page right now
Delcat: No, one more thing: Plok was the name of one of my favorite weird-ass SNES platformers as a small child. My sister drew special comics of it for me and everything. AND NOW IT'S THE SOUND OF A DICKGIRL'S BALLS DROPPING.
Delcat: I HATE YOU, /d/, I HATE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH
Delcat: ooh is that a cowgirl thread
Zeiss: Blonde girl has got no motivation here. YEAH I REALLY HATE YOU FOR SOME REASON SO I'M GOING TO CHECK TO SEE IF YOU'RE RECIEVING PROPER MEDICAL TREATMENT
Delcat: Zeiss the dick is coming to get meeee DX
Zeiss: IT CRAVES WULWA

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Delcat: "Hey, are you horribly mutated or just happy to see me?"
"...both?"
Zeiss: Did her nipple just inflate
Zeiss: seriously
Zeiss: the anatomy here is worse than Femboy School.
Delcat: Maybe she was stuffing her bra...with...like...er...Jell-o?
Zeiss: It looks like it's going to pop.
Delcat: Couldn't she just give herself a quick titty-fuck? I mean, she's the only person IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE who can do that, she might as well.
Zeiss: Carpe dickem, man.
Delcat: Also, that is not a glomp. I distinctly remember from my weeaboo days that a glomp is when a character jumps into someone's arms and kisses their neck. It's NOT when a character tries to dry-hump someone from behind.
Zeiss: ...I can't get over that nipple. It's like it laid an egg in her shirt or something.
Delcat: It's EXACTLY egg-shaped, my god
Delcat: But don't say egg-laying, Zeiss. Please. This IS /d/, after all.
Zeiss: oh shit i think i cursed that into existence
Delcat: I...I'm seeing a vision...a vision of a future snark...Zeiss, what have you done?
Zeiss: PERHAPS
Zeiss: IT IS A MYSTERY
Zeiss: FOR NOW

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Delcat: Okay, so here's one of the two pages we saw in advance. And it STILL doesn't make sense.
Delcat: OH GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH HER TITS
Zeiss: It's like this horrible Pollock-esque mass of nipples and cocks
Delcat: SHE HAS CANCEROUS GROWTHS OVERTAKING HER AREOLAS
Delcat: WHAT ARE THOSE
Zeiss: HER RIGHT NIPPLE IS STITCHED ON
Zeiss: OH GOD
Zeiss: IS THAT COCK TRYING TO LAY AN EGG TOO
Delcat: IT'S A BULLFROG. A BULLCOCK, RIBBITING OUT ITS SCROTESAC.
Delcat: HEY ZEISS HOW FAR IS SHE GOING TO--wait, no, did that one already.
Zeiss: DICKGIRL LINTY HAD A BULLCOCK
Zeiss: WAS A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE
Zeiss: NEVER UNDERSTOOD IT'S INTERNAL ANATOMY
Zeiss: BUT IT COULD SURE LAY EGGS JUST FINE
Delcat: SINGIN' JOY TO THE WORLD
Delcat: ALL THE HORNY DICKGIRLS
Zeiss: JOY TO THE DICKGIRLS IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA
Zeiss: JOY TO YOU AND ME
Zeiss: i swear to god these snarks are just the most extended dick jokes ever
Delcat: Hurrr, you said "extended dick"
Zeiss: shut up beavis
Delcat: Well, really, the manga are just the most extended dick parades ever, so what else are we supposed to joke about?
Zeiss: you've got a point
Delcat: I could make a D'HURR RAPE CYBERWULF IS GOING TO BE MAD joke, but those are starting to feel old.
Delcat: AND RAPE IS NEVER FUNNY
Zeiss: ESPECIALLY IF COOKING UTENSILS ARE INVOLVED

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Delcat: okay I'm about to cross a line that can't be uncrossed here
Zeiss: It's a dickgirl Richard D. James!
Delcat: THE SUN ON THE DICKGIRLS IS SUMMERY WARM
Delcat: THE PUSSY EMBRACES THE BEE
Delcat: BUT GATHER TOGETHER TO FUCK THE STORM
Delcat: YOUR BODY BELONGS TO ME
Zeiss: that was beautiful, Del
Delcat: I'll save the bit with the Rhine giving its gold to the sea in anticipation of watersports to come.
Zeiss: It looks like someone stole her teeth in the second panel.
Delcat: Oh, thanks for the Celebrian flashback >(
Delcat: "Can't I rape you, pweeeeeeze? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] "
Zeiss: If you rape anyone you won't get a cookie Del
Delcat: "YOU'RE A BIG MEANIE BUTTFACE. I'M TAKING MY BALLS AND GOING HOME."
Delcat: If I can channel my kinky bastard side, the idea of hair bondage is kind of nice. Straight guys always get the most creative porn.
Zeiss: I'd say invisicocks are pretty creative.
Delcat: Point.

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Delcat: *CROSSES ARMS*
Zeiss: hold on
Zeiss: The bracelet of the futa is broken and cracked
Zeiss: Her testosterone's been set free
Zeiss: And maidens with improbable necks she'll attack
Zeiss: These nipples belong...to me
Delcat: Oh Zeiss, you outdo me as always.
Zeiss: Einigkeit und Recht und Brǖsten fǖr das Dickgirl Vaterland...
Zeiss: and that last panel
Zeiss: yeah
Zeiss: that last panel
Zeiss: Any thoughts on that?
Delcat: While I was doing my Secret of Evermore Let's Play, I had a running gag of calling my bazooka my "POOSH". These sound effects are ruining so much for me.
Delcat: And again, *CROSSES ARMS*
Zeiss: Well put.

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Delcat: *CROSSES LEGS*
Delcat: *RESEMBLES A DEAD SPIDER AT THIS POINT*
Zeiss: "CROSSES"
Zeiss: *CROSSES EVERYWHERE"
Zeiss: *THE POWER OF CHRIST REBUKES YOU, DICKGIRL*
Delcat: I love that she specifically and repeatedly said "No", so it's as rape-y as possible.
Zeiss: this page
Zeiss: THIS PAGE
Zeiss: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Delcat: I expect her to hold up a pack of Mentos in the third panel
Delcat: or fourth
Delcat: This shit is laid out terribly
Zeiss: Panel 4: Someone's activated big-head mode in the comic.
Delcat: Oh man, I love that mode. That and Paintball.
Delcat: ...wow, Paintball mode would make sex EVEN MORE AWESOME.
Zeiss: And I just realized those tits in the first panel look like spinnarets.
Zeiss: i don't even know which way to read this
Delcat: Please note that her cock is clearly long enough to SPIT-ROAST the poor girl on, yet somehow remains confined to her vagina. FUZZY ANATOMY??
Zeiss: OH HOLY FUCK, YOU PLOWED PAST MY CERVIX AS WE CAN SEE FROM THIS HELPFUL ILLUSTRATION
Delcat: Zeiss, I'm afraid to go on. I keep going "Oh, I'll just go to the next page" and then somehow it gets worse D:
Zeiss: don't worry del
Zeiss: we can make it

(continued)

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Delcat: okay this isn't AS bad I guess
Zeiss: We can do this
Zeiss: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Delcat: we do?
Delcat: how?
Zeiss: Well for one, we don't ejaculate the magic boob-growing milk from Celebrian.
Delcat: ...that's true.
Delcat: Although honestly, I don't see that much difference. They were insanely huge to begin with.
Zeiss: SPOOOOJ! sounds like a Czech arthouse band
Zeiss: If Iva Bittova shows up, I'm going to be pissed.
Delcat: Richard Cheese is singing "Me So Horny" at me right now. WINAMP SHUFFLE.
Zeiss: YAY
Zeiss: I give her one page before her spine snaps.
Delcat: She might have a chance if they find a wheelbarrow in time.
Zeiss: Panel 3: FEELS GOOD MAN
Delcat: At least she's taking it in stride.

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Zeiss: Aaaaand she cracks.
Delcat: "OH MY GAWD I LIKE CAN'T BELIEVE YOU XO"
Zeiss: THAT DOESN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE AN ASS
Zeiss: WHAT THE HELL
Delcat: Okay, I'm gonna go back on my earlier comment--what the HELL would Cyberwulf say to "HEY YOU WERE ON THE PILL NO HARM DONE" as a post-rape rationalization?
Zeiss: ...
Zeiss: *EXPLOSION*
Delcat: *sweeps up*
Zeiss: Ah, we'll remember her.
Delcat: So, Zeiss. You're a heterosexual male. Is the kind of boob-dangling you see in the fifth panel there anything close to erotic?
Delcat: 'Cause it fuckin' grosses me out.
Delcat: I don't even like to see my own boobs do that.
Zeiss: It is when the tits don't look like fucking bowling pins.
Delcat: I guess that's part of it, yes.
Delcat: They're not even dangling, they're...sticking out. At a ninety-degree angle.
Delcat: Like, if someone swept her feet out from under her, they would remain like that, supporting her rigidly.
Zeiss: Look at the last panel for God's sake
Zeiss: She is fucking impaling that boob.
Delcat: I DON'T WANNA
Delcat: owwwww
Delcat: I guess we're even for the ball torture in Nippon Heroine 3, huh
Zeiss: Yep.
Delcat: owwwwwwwwwwww[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

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Zeiss: IT'S THE BEST FUCKING COCK EVER
Delcat: Man, you have to be pretty fucking out of it to not notice you're somehow managing to finger your own nipple.
Zeiss: holy shit she is
Zeiss: Del, would you care to give the readers at home a primer on how nipples work?
Zeiss: Del are you still there
Delcat: Certainly. Gentle readers, please inspect your own nipples. They are the same between men and women--small growths of flesh with no singular opening in them. In lactating women, dozens of microscopic pores allow for the passage of milk. However, barring extreme body modification, no one has a hole big enough to penetrate with even the smallest of fingers. Additionally, breasts are solid masses of fat and glands, so there would be nowhere for anything penetrating them to go.
Delcat: In other words:
Delcat: NO.
Delcat: FUCKING.
Delcat: WAY.
Delcat: EVER.
Zeiss: KEEP THAT IN MIND PEOPLE
Zeiss: IT GETS WORSE
Zeiss: IT GETS SO MUCH FUCKING WORSE
Delcat: Does it ever.
Delcat: If I could blow myself, I doubt I'd be that needy for someone else to do it. I could do it just the way I wanted, after all.
Zeiss: Can't argue with that.
Delcat: And I could spit without offending myself.
Zeiss: And I wouldn't have to worry about biting.
Delcat: Unless I was kinda into that.
Zeiss: And if you were, you could bite all you want.
Delcat: Well, until the paramedics arrived.

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Zeiss: Okay that bottom middle panel has completely stumped me.
Delcat: I think she's pulling on the foreskin.
Delcat: With her teeth.
Delcat: Which is probably not a good thing.
Delcat: Anyway, didn't she have a pair of tits wrapped around it?
Zeiss: And why is there a finger growing out of the head?
Delcat: THE MUTATION CONTINUES
Delcat: TETSUOOOOOOOOO
Zeiss: LINTEDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Delcat: Zeiss...do, uh...have you ever heard a cock go "skeet" before?
Zeiss: Not really. It's a strange onomatopeoia.
Delcat: It sounds like a record-scratch.
Delcat: Did a teacher just walk in and have his mind blown?
Zeiss: If only.

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Zeiss: guargggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Delcat: You okay, skip?
Zeiss: yeah
Zeiss: it's just GOOD GOD
Zeiss: HOW DO YOU MAKE SOMETHING LIKE THIS
Zeiss: WHO WROTE THIS AND WAS SATISFIED THAT THIS WOULD BE HIS GIFT TO THE WORLD
Delcat: With periodic pauses to wipe the shame and loneliness off your pencil?
Delcat: He's supposedly working on the third part to this as we speak.
Zeiss: ....
Zeiss: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Delcat: The blonde girl is mad with the power
Delcat: MAD
Zeiss: I SHALL USE MY TITS TO OVERTHROW THE U.S. GOVERNMENT
Delcat: Seriously, how much bigger could she POSSIBLY want her tits to be? I can hear her vertebrae creaking from here!
Zeiss: maybe if she makes them bigger she won't need to walk anymore
Zeiss: she can just bounce about
Delcat: na na na na na na na na na na TITTYMARI BOOBACY-Y-Y-Y-Y

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Zeiss: OH AND JUST NOW SHE NOTICES
Delcat: oh man I do not even have a dick and those first panels are making me wince
Delcat: She's doing that thing like when you're trying to stretch the rubber in a balloon so it's easier to blow up
Delcat: BUT WITH A COCK
Zeiss: Such is the meticulous recreation of japanese doujins that they spell her name two different ways on the same page!
Zeiss: owwwwwwwwww
Delcat: My turn: Is she STANDING on blonde girl's tits in that last panel? owwwwwwwwwwwww[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Zeiss: AND SHE SHALL STAND ON THE CONQUERED TITS OF HER ENEMIES AND COLLAPSE OF A LACK OF BLOOD TO THE BRAIN
Delcat: her balls are the size of her tits
Delcat: that cannot be comfortable
Zeiss: no it cannot
Delcat: You know, I have a trio of succubi characters from my old RP
Delcat: I have the feeling that if I asked them if they ever saw anything like this, they'd just groan and be like "Oh God, not THAT girl"
Delcat: Like she's the Unskilled of the sex demon set
Delcat: Or the Harley, more like
Zeiss: I'd say Harley is more apt
Delcat: I mean, they were kinky, but they kept their anatomies in order
Delcat: I think this would make the sweetest of them cry blood tears.
Zeiss: I wish we could send them biscuits so they'd feel better about all this.
Delcat: FUCK YOU, MANGA, FOR MAKING MY CHARACTERS BE THE ONES WITH STANDARDS. FUCK YOU.

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Zeiss: All together now
Zeiss: OOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Delcat: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Delcat: *ROCKING BACK AND FORTH*
Zeiss: PENIS IRAE
Zeiss: penis irae
Zeiss: PENIS IRA
Delcat: oh God it's just RIPPED OUT AROUND HER DICK
Zeiss: penis ira
Zeiss: SOOOOOLVET SAE~CLUM IN THE NIPPLE
Delcat: what are we even looking at
Zeiss: something SOMEBODY FAPPED TO
Delcat: one giant mono-boob that isn't on the same level as the rest of everything else and STOP SAYING THAT AUGH
Delcat: Zeiss, I am terrified that I am going to find some perfectly nice, handsome boy that matches up to my personality really well
Delcat: And then when I finally decide I'm ready to have sex with him
Delcat: HE'LL START TRYING TO FUCK MY NIPPLES
Zeiss: DON'T WORRY DEL
Zeiss: I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT THE VERY IDEA OF NIPPLEFUCKING DID NOT MAKE ITSELF APPARENT TO ME UNTIL I WAS OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER
Zeiss: this guy on the other hand
Delcat: Assure me all you want, I'm going to start googling for a manufacturer of nipple chastity belts.

(continued)

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Zeiss: WAIT
Zeiss: BEFORE YOU LOOK AT THAT
Delcat: WHAT
Zeiss: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Zeiss: KITTENS
Zeiss: THERE
Delcat: Ahhh.
Zeiss: okay now you can look at it
Delcat: ...AAAAAAH
Delcat: NO NIPPLE WAS EVER MEANT TO MAKE QUEEFING NOISES, ZEISS
Zeiss: *SKEET*
Delcat: Her breast looks like the turd monster from Yume Nikki in the first panel.
Zeiss: okay it's like half past three in the morning
Zeiss: let's just get this done with as fast as we can
Delcat: Yeah, let's bullrush this thing
Delcat: Nipple fucking, nipple fucking, suspiciously underage-looking chick
Delcat: NEXT PAGE

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Zeiss: OH YOU HAVE A LOT MORE TO ANSWER FOR MISTER AUTHOR PERSON
Delcat: Oh fuck, this IS Onoverse. "Huh, nipple fucking and dickgirls. Okay, whatev."
Zeiss: Wait, how come she's coming from both nipples when she only fucked one HEY WAIT A MINUTE
Delcat: Oh fuck, is she lactating now? Or just squeezing out jizz from...I don't even want to finish that sentence.
Delcat: The dynamic perspectives are killing me. I'm all for variety in art but being assaulted with dicks from every angle wears thin.
Zeiss: I've pretty much said all I want to about this page
Delcat: "WAAAAAH, YOU JIZZED IN MY EYE! TEACHER, TEACHER, LINTY JIZZED IN MY EYE!"
"Now, now, no one likes a snatch--I mean, snitch."

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Zeiss: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Delcat: Worst. Guidance counselor. Ever.
Delcat: "I'm mutating horribly! What do I do?"
"Stick a sock on it so the rest of us don't have to be grossed out, gawd."
Zeiss: Okay, I actually think "At least you're not stuck with an evil demon who lives in your penis" is the best excuse ever.
Delcat: Yeah, that's a plus.
Delcat: Blonde girl's torso totally detatched from head
Zeiss: OOOOOOOOH I HATES THEM RAPISTS
Delcat: THEM WASCALLY WAPISTS

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Zeiss: oh thank god it's over
Delcat: Oh thank God it's oveOH NO YOU FUCKING DON'T.
Delcat: lawl scanfail.
Zeiss: HA HA HA
Delcat: There are three more pages, I don't know of what. Brace yourself.
Zeiss: I can't help but think this was all just doodled by some really greasy kid in the middle of Foreign Lit.
Delcat: REALLY greasy, if those smudges are any indication.

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Zeiss: Braclelet /= amulet.
Zeiss: At least to my understanding.
Delcat: OH HEY, BLONDE GIRL IS A PROSTITUTE, SO IT'S OKAY THAT SHE WAS RAPED, AMIRITE??
Zeiss: THEY JUST DIDN'T CARE.
Delcat: Whatever it was, it was ripped off pretty blatantly from Fruits Basket.
Delcat: Wait a second, I'M a 36C! Those aren't 36Cs!
Delcat: Or even 32CSs! Even LESS 32Cs!
Delcat: At least this means he doesn't hang out in lingerie shops...

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Delcat: ...f...FANS?
Zeiss: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
Zeiss: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
Delcat: GOOD GOD THAT ONE LOOKS LIKE IT WAS DONE BY A TEN-YEAR-OLD
Zeiss: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
Delcat: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE
Delcat: ...RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE
Zeiss: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Delcat: Cunting motheryFUCK. One of my best friends has a long-running, WELL-DRAWN webcomic and I don't think she gets this kind of fanart.

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Delcat: ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Zeiss: ....God.
Zeiss: Words fail me.
Delcat: Sweet cunterybuggeryshit.
Delcat: Make up some new ones, I think it's merited.
Delcat: ...Zeiss. It didn't have the other page we saw in it.
Zeiss: On the bright side, I now know for certain that Nietschze was right.
Delcat: Do you know what that means?
Zeiss: D=
Delcat: We have to do part 2.
Zeiss: D=
Delcat: I'll...I'll bring the booze.
Zeiss: YEAH YOU BETTER
Delcat: And you're right about Nietschze, if you're gonna say what I think you're gonna say...?
Zeiss: He was right when he said:
Zeiss: "JESUS GOD YOU CAN'T FUCK NIPPLES WHAT THE HELL MAN"
Delcat: Ah. See, I was thinking "Hell is other dickgirls", but I forgot about that little tidbit.

THE KITTENS! THEY DO NOTHING! [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

*twitch*

I do love how everyone's just fine with Lint-girl growing a dick. "Meh there's one every year."

So, a sure-fire way to be friends with someone is to rape them horribly?

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Oh yeah, do more of these.

And here's the link, now that the links are all gone.

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What do you think, Owen Gieni and 'Linty' the same person?

We-elll, Reep, it's a definite possibility. That, or Linty is a big fan of Gieni, because the similarities are rather big.

I never really liked Gieni's art to begin with, but if they're the same person, it now officially creeps me out a bit.

FISHLIPS EVERYWHERE

Wheee, necromancy.

Oh yeah, I just remembered. This and the second one, I think, are up on another site... aaaand I think my comment from before was deleted... sooo I think I'mma wait and see who asks for it before posting it, yes?

after the first few pages i just couldn't stop laughing at the commentary, i don't think i'll be able to read this comic again without laughing... which is good since its not much good for anything else... other then wierding people out

^ Jeez, weird that you should bumpo this thread now, I was re-reading the snark of part 2 just last night. Still funny as all get out.