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 Charlie Brooker's Guardian Column.

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Knorg
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PostSubject: Charlie Brooker's Guardian Column.   Wed Apr 18, 2012 11:22 am

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Basically, all of it.

Most recent article:
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Quote :
It must be awful, being a homophobe. Having to spend all that time obsessing about what gay people might be doing with their genitals. Seeing it in your mind, over and over again, in high-definition close-up. Bravely you masturbate, to make the pictures go away, but to no avail. They're seared onto your mental membranes. Every time you close your eyes, an imaginary gay man's imaginary penis rises from the murk, bowing ominously in your direction, sensing your discomfort. Laughing. Mocking. Possibly even winking. How dare they, this man and his penis? How dare they do this to you?

Obviously you can't fight the big gay penis in your head. It has no physical form, so you can't get a grip on it, much as you'd like to. You'd love to grab it and throttle it until it splutters its last. That might bring you closure. But no. So you do the next best thing. You condemn homosexuals in the real world. Maybe if they could just stop all this "being gay" business for 10 minutes, you'd get some respite from that scary headcock. It might shrivel away completely, leaving nothing behind. Except maybe a nice bit of bum.

No, dammit! Forget I said that! No bum either!


Link dumps FTW.
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StandupShady
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PostSubject: Re: Charlie Brooker's Guardian Column.   Wed Apr 18, 2012 3:12 pm

Love Charlie. He has also released his Guardian columns in compendiums of awesome epic and wit, entitled "Screen Burn", "The Hell of it All" and "Dawn of the Dumb" respectively, and I can testify to their awesomeness. Schlick

He's pretty much the wet dream of misanthropes everywhere.
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Aggie
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PostSubject: Re: Charlie Brooker's Guardian Column.   Wed Apr 18, 2012 4:46 pm

Sad to see that good ol' Charlie doesn't quite grasp why Mass Effect fans are so upset over the ending of the game, though I do enjoy most of his other stuff.
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Knorg
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PostSubject: Re: Charlie Brooker's Guardian Column.   Sat Jul 27, 2013 5:39 am

And apparantly it's at an end, at least according to Private Eye. Since Lord Gnome doesn't have that sort of thing on the website, here's a torygraph blogger instead...

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