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 Tails Gets Trolled

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Euglena
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PostSubject: Tails Gets Trolled   Mon Apr 09, 2012 9:10 pm

I will begin by saying that Something Awful discovered this little gem long before I did, and have amassed a treasure-trove of hilarious fan-art renditions of the comic. I just felt like sharing.

The epic saga begins all the way back at page 6 of the linked gallery subsection, so you can already tell that Lazerbot is if anything, a dedicated author. I think I'll be covering about 3 pages in this post, and will determine where to go from there.

Spoiler:
 

Three things immediately jumped out at me. First, Tails has an extra tail (Is it a bad sign that I noticed that?). Second, the inexplicable sudden font change in panel 4. It shouldn't be that hard to make it bold again, Lazerbot. All you gots to do is hit a button. I guess I should be thankful that he didn't pick Comic Sans. Third thing, those awesome faces! This is only page 1 and already we've got a reaction image goldmine!

Notice how the fat troll mentions that Tails "lacks talent" at least twice. I'll take a wild guess and say that this is a touchy issue for our author.

Spoiler:
 

It looks like Sonic's trying to console Tails by ripping those tears right out of his talentless hoe eyes. Hold still, n00b! Is it just me, or are the periods in weird places? How did he manage to do that, does he have some kind of bizzaro foreign keyboard with extra functions or something? Maybe he's just that talentless. Trollface

Panel 9 is probably the high point for the whole comic. You show 'em, Shadow! You deal with the shit outta those trolls! Panel 2 is also awesome. It looks like he's yawn-crying.

Spoiler:
 

It took me a while to figure this out, but whenever someone says "villains", they mean "violence". I don't know how this guy manages to typo that hard. I love how everyone gets super long leg syndrome in panels 5 and 6. Reminds me of that mod of Brawl where Pikachu had Ganondorf's moveset. Also, wow. What is up with those weird friggin' arrows? Did he draw those himself, or are those part of the font? How can he do all this crazy font stuff and still manage to spell like a sugar-addled 4th grader? Also, note the gratuitous use of the word "them". This will be a recurring theme.

dumb ass will learn ,

More to come soon! Any questions?
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myeerah
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PostSubject: Re: Tails Gets Trolled   Tue Apr 10, 2012 8:23 am

Euglena wrote:
Any questions?

Just the usual, and it's on the masthead of the site.
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Euglena
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PostSubject: Re: Tails Gets Trolled   Tue Apr 10, 2012 2:33 pm

Yep, the banner says it quite well, doesn't it?

On to page 4!

Spoiler:
 

Yay, now it's a crossover! Excitedplz And not to spoil, but our ambitious author will not be stopping with the Mario universe.
Sonic borrows a plot point from Sonichu in panel 5 and bravely affirms his heterosexuality. Yep, that will certainly deter the trolls from calling you gay. For sure. Dry

Although he clearly states that he is not a->

->fended, Sonic is slowly becoming perturbed by the mutants' mildly hurtful words.

Spoiler:
 

And he's practically seething. So much for diplomacy.

AFTER WORDS, we are treated to an amusing vision of Knuckles the Echidna possessed by the spirit of Hella Jeff. He's even got the mouth. :^y
Panels 3 and 6 are surprisingly nice looking compared to the rest of the comic. I have a sneaking suspicion that Lazerbot might be tracing other peoples' work every now and then.

Spoiler:
 

Fed up with diplomacy, our sissy protagonist reluctantly decides to accept Shadow's help. Instead of just explaining the art of defeating trolls to Tails, the emo hedgehog goes the extra mile and invites him to watch a live demonstration, but not before laying down some ground rules. After clearing the air, Shadow dutifully adjusts his gloves before the face-off with "them bastards", and Tails puts his little hand somewhere it ought not be. (Seriously, man. Knuckles isn't wearing pants or anything. That's just gross.)

As an added bonus, let's look at some insightful comments from the gallery subsection.

Shredder and then a bunch of ones wrote:
This is going good so far but for the love of god don't pull a Deus Ex Machina and have embryonic that died come back or some bullshit like that.

Also, I think you should do an epilogue of everyone's life after the events of the comic.

The Second Coming of Michelangelo wrote:
ill keep that in mind

Shredder wrote:
Also I seriously think you should take a career in writing.

Zee Arteest wrote:
whats a career ?



This man is 20 years old. If you need me, I will be in a dark corner, drying my tears with my hair.


Last edited by Euglena on Wed Apr 11, 2012 7:33 am; edited 1 time in total
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WD40
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PostSubject: Re: Tails Gets Trolled   Tue Apr 10, 2012 4:00 pm

Quote :
I'm so mad I'm gonna have sex with my girl friend so I won't be so mad

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PostSubject: Re: Tails Gets Trolled   Tue Apr 10, 2012 5:06 pm

I was working on a 'review' of this, you beat me to it. Oh well, at least now I'll get my finger out rather than dragging on for a few days. I decided against trying to plot synopsise this because it's such a ginormous cluserfuck, and I didn't have the energy to even try to reiview the plot. I'd only gotten halfway through Chapter 2. I think it might be easier to read all 10 (?) Volumes of Sonichu.

So I'll just rattle off a consdensed version of my favourite awful aspects of this. This contains spoilers for later in the comic than Eugena's covered, so in the unlikely event that that matters to you, don't read:


- The Sonic character hate. (Spoiler: He dies)

- The wholly inappropriate facial expressions. Tails in particular, frequently looks bored whilst witnessing murders or relaying their details:
Spoiler:
 
- The 'reaction' shots (see the ED "Reaction Image" Gallery: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] )

- The trolls' dialogue. As you can see from Eugena's posts, it typically amounts to 'you are a fag/n00b/retard'. Now, you might be thinking that's a clever and witty parody of how predictable some trolling is or how easily some people are trolled, but it isn't.

- Lazerbot's inability to spell, use punctuation, use capitals, or even keep the dialogue inside the speech bubbles:
Spoiler:
 

- The fact that in some places the art, whilst not 'good' per se, borders on being passable for MS Paint, and there are attempts from Chapter 2 onwards at improvements such as shadows, while in other places, it's Sonichu-grade poor.

- The WTF plot devices. I can't get my head around the purpose of whole Mario/Luigi fight and Shadow shooting Daffy Duck.

- The utter lack of originality. Even when faced with the need to produce a character that he can't directly lift from a cartoon or video game, the Troll King, Lazerbot simply attaches a trollface to a human body. No one's ever done that before. Like no way.

- Oh, and Knuckles has sex with a monkey when he and Shadow get high after burying the corpses of murdered trolls. I presume that's meant to be funny.
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PostSubject: Re: Tails Gets Trolled   Tue Apr 10, 2012 7:59 pm

Hot Cancer wrote:
I was working on a 'review' of this, you beat me to it.

Aw man, sorry about that. Feel free to contribute to this thread as much as you like, though. There's plenty of fail to go around for everyone, and probably too much for a newbie like me to handle on my own. Wink

Page 7, ho!

Spoiler:
 

It's nice to see that Lazerbot knows how to set the mood with beautiful scenery. What a majestic tree!
The trolls kick things off by calling the Sonic furries Pokemon, which I gather is yet another touchy subject for the author. Shadow deftly retaliates by cracking the same fat joke twice. Maybe he should have "baited" that guy with a Quarter-Pounder instead. Also, em ->
->breaded donkey c-c-combo breaker!

Spoiler:
 

Shadow wrote:
only retarded people and fat people repeat the same insults

Which is exactly what you just did, Shadow. Twice, even. After the baiting, Shadow moves on to phase two of his master plan, caving in faces. What was even the purpose of the baiting if the end result is just physical violence? Is it supposed to distract them or something? Why not just cut to the chase and start off punching from the get-go?

One thing that really disturbs me about this series is how well drawn the violence scenes are compared to everything else. You can almost smell the revenge fantasies simmering in this disturbed man's brain. We should all be thankful that he chose to vent through the comics, however horrible, rather than through actual violence, and hope that it stays that way. As interesting as it would be to have another source of Chris-chan antics, I wouldn't want this guy running around exacting vigilante justice on suspected trolls. And yes, Tails looks vaguely bored when he witnesses violence. Shadow, on the other hand, looks hideously aroused. Upset

Spoiler:
 


And so the trolls are justly punished for their obliviousness. Tails is obviously very concerned for the trolls' well-being, and tries his best to dissuade Shadow, but even his most emphatic "but" is too little, too late. I think Tails might even be getting off on the violence himself in panel 6. pale

Is it just me, or did Shadow kill the fat guy by stabbing in his neck and cutting up to his eye? That's a bit... excessive for trolling. Oh well, can't argue with revenge-fantasy logic I guess. I like how Shadow's, erm, shadow (gigglesnort) just sort of pours down the troll's corpse like some sort of viscous substance, and yet the pool of blood is a perfect circle. It's the little things that make this comic great. I love you
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PostSubject: Re: Tails Gets Trolled   Tue Apr 10, 2012 8:36 pm

Are you trying to tell me that this comic is even remotely serious?

No, really. It has all the hallmarks of deliberate parody, especially later on when Cerebus Syndrome kicks in and we get to know the (completely balls-out nonsensical) backstories of the trolls.
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Euglena
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PostSubject: Re: Tails Gets Trolled   Tue Apr 10, 2012 8:44 pm

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:
Are you trying to tell me that this comic is even remotely serious?

No, really. It has all the hallmarks of deliberate parody, especially later on when Cerebus Syndrome kicks in and we get to know the (completely balls-out nonsensical) backstories of the trolls.

As crazy as it all sounds, I think this guy's serious. He's got too much stuff out there not to be. Most satirists are not this dedicated. (Although he would have my eternal respect and awe if he turned out to be a dedicated troll.)
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PostSubject: Re: Tails Gets Trolled   Tue Apr 10, 2012 9:30 pm

I'd be laughing my ass off if he was completely batshit serious about this.
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PostSubject: Re: Tails Gets Trolled   Wed Apr 11, 2012 8:38 pm

Ok, I've realized that it'll probably take forever to get through the whole thing if I don't change pace. So from here on out, I'm going to try to do more than 3 pages per post. (Though let's face it, I'll be at this for a while either way. Long comic is long.)

Spoiler:
 

After "burring" the two murdered trolls, Shadow and Knuckles randomly decide to get high, which appears to another one of the author's many favorite recurring gags. The very bottom few panels are almost impossible to make out if you have any glare on your screen. I actually thought he had gotten lazy and just colored them solid black at first, and I almost missed button-nosed Naruto lookalike guy at the bottom there. What's up with the red box in the top right corner of panel 8? Is that a dialogue box he forgot to fill in? Oopsie.

Spoiler:
 

Sonic smells something fishy already. I would too if I found my friend passed out under a tree with a rock for a pillow. Tails explains the situation to Sonic, and Sonic completely under overreacts to the news. What a pansy, mildly objecting to violent murder in response to verbal chiding. Why can't he be a real man, like Shadow?

A very sad Tails wrote:
no shadow pulled out the knife and stabbed them to death. there was alot of blood

I'm very sorry you had to see all that, Tails. I can only imagine how gruesome alot of blood must be.

Spoiler:
 

Why is everyone sleeping? I know they stayed out late when they buried the trolls, but c'mon guys, it's bright out! The sun is at the top of the sky! Get your lazy, troll-murdering asses up!

Knuckles and his surprise secks buddies appear to have finished their wacky and hilarious escapades under a thick blanket of concrete. Unfortunately for us, they escape later. Shadow, meanwhile, appears to have fallen asleep in some sort of weird trance. Perhaps he was meditating on ultraviolent revenge fantasies? Good God, that's a wonk-ass troll ninja! Not only does he have anime hair, he's also got a headband, furry ears, a facial scar and mismatched eyes. It's like Lazerbot polled a bunch of 8 year old weeaboos about what a cool supervillain looks like or something.

Spoiler:
 

And Troll Ninja's got fingerless gloves too! Is Lazerbot secretly a male version of me as a 14 year old? Shocked Shadow and Troll Ninja enter a Mexican Standoff, which might be an okay tension builder. Except Troll Ninja has a sword and Shadow should be able to blow him away any time he wants, so it just ends up looking really dumb instead. The confusing panel layout doesn't really help things either. Troll Ninja implicates Shadow in the troll murders with a compelling eyewitness testimony.

Troll Ninja: Ace Attorney wrote:
i asked around and someone saw you last night high as shit with a shovel. so that pretty much tells me you killed them

Yeah

The Mexican Standoff inexplicably ends as Troll Ninja decides to put his sword back and seemingly prepares to get shot, until...

Shadow's gun wrote:
hey!!

Oh wait, that's just Mario. Burn the "witch"!

Spoiler:
 

Wasn't it Knuckles' job to be the gullible red guy? The insanely kewl Troll Ninja steals away into the cover of the open fields, and Shadow successfully calms Mario's eyebrows. In the last panel, Shadow contemplates warning Sonic of the possible danger despite being in the throes of a petit mal seizure.

(On a semi-related note, Troll Ninja reminds me a lot of Hitoshi-san from Nyan Neko Sugar Girls. It's probably the hair.)

Spoiler:
 

Sonic appears, arms blue with ungodly rage, to sternly chide Shadow for his unnecessary use of violence villains. Shadow expresses his disappointment that Tails "bitched out" and told Sonic what happened. Yeah man, what a pussy. Going and confiding in an adult after he witnessed a murder. Pfft. Dry A heated argument ensues, and despite Tails' desperate pleas to stop, Shadow pulls out his "dealing with trolls" finger again and breaks his arm while doing so. Then, Ninja Troll returns, this time with reinforcements! Will he, the penis-armed blob-man, the demon-basketball in a hoodie, and the ugly red-headed boy prevail? Stay tuned!






Uncle Tails wants YOU to tell him who those guys are!
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Euglena
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PostSubject: Re: Tails Gets Trolled   Thu Apr 12, 2012 9:44 pm

UPDATE: Apparently the comic is ongoing, a new installment having been posted earlier today. News to me, as I've only read up to about a fourth of the way through chapter 4. I've still got a lot of comic to cover, so I won't be getting to it until it's old and stale, but if you've been keeping up with the saga up until now, or just aren't concerned about spoilers, here's a link.

Spoiler:
 

The hideous red-haired troll tries a pickup line on Sonic, but alas, the handsome devil is taken. I can't help but wonder just who Sonic's girl friend is. We have yet to see her, so are we supposed to conclude that Sonic has finally developed feelings for Amy? Or maybe it's Sally, or the human chick from Sonic 2006? Let's just say she's a figment of Sonic's imagination or something.


back to tails


Knuckles wrote:
so your telling me you wasn't drunk or fucked up in anyway.when you had sex with me and that monkey

"Oh no, sweetie. I wasn't the one who screwed the monkey."

Tails shows up in a panicked sweat, but Knuckles' calming presence quickly lulls him into a near-catatonic state of boredom. The two giant colorful animal warriors head out, casting ominous and confusing shadows over the rolling green.

Spoiler:
 

But they are too late, as the trolls' horrifying verbal assaults are just too offensive for poor Sonic to take. I mean, oh my god, dinosuar nipples! Who wouldn't take offense to such a diabolical insinuation? I must admit, though, the crack about "big daddy" is pretty funny, minus the man-penis part. Sonic's catastrophic failure to just let things go causes him to under go a horrifying transformation into...

...a navy blue version of himself. Scary, man.

Spoiler:
 

And just when Troll Ninja gets his chance to shine, he bails. We don't get to see him walk away, so I'm guessing he just yanks on his blade like a lever and teleports away. S00p3r Sk@ry dark blue Sonic dispatches the trolls one by one, starting with the demon-basketball, whom he messily kicks in half. It turns out that he and Ugly McRedhair had something going on, but the star-crossed lovers are fortunately not separated for long. Gross Sonic, is that brain on your glove? No dinner until those paws are spotless, young man!

Spoiler:
 

It seems Sonic was not the only one getting his hands dirty. Shadow appears to have forgotten about earlier and killed another fat guy.

Linkin Park Sonic wrote:
shit i failed

Words that will doubtlessly transcend time itself.

Upon reverting to normal, Sonic quickly washes his hands of any involvement, refusing to help Shadow and the others infiltrate the "colt". Looks like the taste for blood only lasts as long as the laughable girlfriend insults sting. Also, how is Ninja Troll a troll if he doesn't hurl insults? Isn't he just a ninja accomplice?

Well, it's getting late. I'll try to cover 6 pages in the next post.

.now ill be leaving now
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PostSubject: Re: Tails Gets Trolled   Sat Apr 14, 2012 8:54 am

The navy blue Sonic is "Dark Super Sonic" from the Sonic X cartoon. It appeared in one episode, when he had the seven Chaos Emeralds and saw Chris get (apparently) killed.
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