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 Stargate: Atlantis's horrible, horrible Mirror Universe.

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ZOOLANDER
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PostSubject: Stargate: Atlantis's horrible, horrible Mirror Universe.   Mon Mar 26, 2012 10:35 pm

If you thought the canon Star Trek Mirror Universe was bad, this will knock your socks off. In this AU fic, Canada has been laid to waste by nuclear war, McKay is trying desperately to feed a starving family, Sheppard is a perverted gay sex addict with precious few morals and not only is screwing the crew allowed in the US military, but using your underlings as sex toys is just fine by the brass.

Quote :
Rodney eyed the man with the wild hair, “Listen,” he began, “I am willing to do anything. I am in a real financial bind, and I am struggling to simply keep my family from starving, and if I don’t get this job, I won’t even be allowed to be in the same country as my wife and two kids.”

"I'll even clean the toilets with my tongue! I won't send the money back to Nuked!Canada, honest!"

Quote :
The general mockingly fished through a stack of files to his left. “So are a lot of the other applicants, and the US government is not a charity.”

Same old line in any universe. BOOTSTRAPS BOOTSTRAPS BOOTSTRAPS

Quote :
Rodney had to concentrate on not letting his jaw drop. This was it. Citizenship and a government paycheck would keep his family from starving. These papers would make everything right again. “Wavers?”

“Yes, they give us the right to imprison you, fine you, or shoot you if you ever tell a single soul about anything you see or do while in our facility.”

“Shoot?”

Yes, shoot. Pointy sticks are so last millenium.

Quote :
For a genius, Rodney was considerably confused. “So you want me? I’m hired?”

The general looked to the quiet man. “I thought the shooting part made that clear.” The quiet man shrugged.

No, General, the only thing THAT made clear was the fact that you were willing to blow Rodney's head off if he so much as cracks a joke about his job to the wrong person.


Some time later, presumably deep underground at Mirror!SGC...

Quote :
Rodney felt like crying. The debriefing had left him disenchanted to the point of heartbreak. These whacko jarheads bought a big round rock from the Egyptian government, and some crackpot hippie thought that it would take them to outer space.

I dare you to call Daniel Jackson a crackpot hippie to his face, buddy. Especially after his Ascension.

Quote :
Rodney did turn his attention away from the tall, blond, blue-eyed, long-haired, big-breasted, long-legged, perfectly proportioned goddess in the blue dress when he heard the word, “assistant.” “What exactly do you mean by ‘assistant’?”

Sounds like McKay isn't the only one who's hot for Major (or Doctor, in this universe) Carter.

Quote :
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait. I never signed up to be an assistant,” cried Rodney.

“Yes, you did. It was in the same paragraph that said you would be paid $160,000 annually.”

Rodney hadn’t actually read the contract. A hundred and sixty . . . “Oh.”

That, Doctor, is the kind of carelessness that leads to shit like the HumanCent-iPad. READ CONTRACTS BEFORE YOU SIGN THEM.

So McKay is trying to settle into life at SGC, but he soon discovers the awful downside to his job when he catches O'Neill raping Carter. In the kind of scene that would make Cyberwulf foam at the mouth in feminist RAEG, Carter tells McKay to mind his own business and assures him

Quote :
I'll be fine. I have been for the past eight years.

Then he gets back to his room and finds Sheppard waiting with champagne and a won't-take-no-for-an-answer proposition for sex that includes threats of job loss:

Quote :
"Thanks for the job, but I am not returning the favor with sex. I'm not that kind of person."



Sheppard picked up his glass and sipped. "I'll give you tonight and tomorrow to think about your kids, your citizenship, your marriage, and your career." He toasted the second glass in Rodney's hand. "Don't worry. I'm always gentle with first-timers." He quickly kissed Rodney on the cheek before leaving the room.



Just as Carter had said, he had to choose to either sleep with the Colonel or become a beggar in ice-capped Canada.



He lay awake in his bug-free bed for hours, weighing the pros and cons of giving the colonel what he wanted. He thought of Casta and Cleya getting vitamin shots for the rest of their lives at the disease control clinic because he couldn't make enough money to feed them.

McKay ends up in bed against his will with Sheppard, Sheppard fucks McKay, McKay bleeds despite the use of lube.

Quote :
Rodney opened the door. "Um, hi, um. I have some laundry to take care of. Um, is there like a laundry mat here or something?"



"Sir, the colonel's room is cleaned daily by the maintenance staff. If you will come with me, sir?"



Great, so the whole cleaning crew will know. They walked to the elevator.

"McKay is the Colonel's bitch! Pass it on!"

McKay goes off to the quartermaster's for some new threads and meets Radek Zelenka and Carson Beckett. McKay tries to act all casual and get his stuff and go, but his need for rectal repair gets the better of him:

Quote :
Beckett loaded Rodney's arms with blue, green, and black pants and jackets, three black t-shirts, three pairs of black socks, three pairs of underwear, and a pair of black boots. “Never wear your pants tucked into your boots unless you're off-world. That way people can tell you apart from the soldiers, not that there's much risk of that. Ya look half starved.”



“Not much to go around when you're not American.”



“Ach. We'll get you fattened up in no time. Why don't ya undress and try the pants on before you take them.” He saw the panic cross Rodney's face. He whispered, “Are ya hurt?”

McKay breaks down and has a VERY VERY OOC woobie moment.

Quote :
Rodney clutched the clothes to his chest. “I'm, um, god . . . How do I say this?”



“Take your time.”



“I am, um. I'm still blee-” his voice cracked. “Bleeding.” He hid his face behind the shirts and sobbed silently.

Beckett takes McKay to the infirmary, patches him up, teaches him how to effectively be Sheppard's bitch boy (no, seriously) and then comes the most WTF line I have ever read in any fic, ever:

Quote :
He sent Rodney to the library with a goody-bag of rape remedies.

Goody-bag? Let's see now, what would we have in a 'goody-bag' of rape remedies?

A handy guide on how to 'ride' it out?
A tube or pump bottle of surgical lube?
A RapeX device?
The number for the nearest rape crisis centre?
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PostSubject: Re: Stargate: Atlantis's horrible, horrible Mirror Universe.   Tue Mar 27, 2012 1:04 am

Rape remedies = stuff to heal up the guy's asshole so he can be raped again.
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ZOOLANDER
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PostSubject: Re: Stargate: Atlantis's horrible, horrible Mirror Universe.   Tue Mar 27, 2012 4:29 am

OK, I get that (I was trying to make a rather bad joke), but it was the referring to the package as a 'goody-bag' that got me. That's wrong even by my standards.
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PostSubject: Re: Stargate: Atlantis's horrible, horrible Mirror Universe.   Tue Mar 27, 2012 8:08 pm

You know, when I read the description that you gave in the first post, I thought that the fic sounded familiar. However, I didn't recall reading it on AFF. So I did a search and found a more completed version of this train wreck.

Rising Above by Susan

I would have been more than happy to forget that this fic ever existed.
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PostSubject: Re: Stargate: Atlantis's horrible, horrible Mirror Universe.   Tue Mar 27, 2012 9:24 pm

Colbert Well, l... never thought I would see a fiction that... erm, destroyed my sci-fi happiness that was Stargate. At least SG-1 never got torn apart like this.
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PostSubject: Re: Stargate: Atlantis's horrible, horrible Mirror Universe.   Tue Mar 27, 2012 9:45 pm

Rageful Jewel wrote:
You know, when I read the description that you gave in the first post, I thought that the fic sounded familiar. However, I didn't recall reading it on AFF. So I did a search and found a more completed version of this train wreck.

Rising Above by Susan

I would have been more than happy to forget that this fic ever existed.


Mind rape, courtesy of the author and yours truly. Twisted Evil Thanks for the link.


Reidmar wrote:
At least SG-1 never got torn apart like this.


Yet.
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PostSubject: Re: Stargate: Atlantis's horrible, horrible Mirror Universe.   Tue Mar 27, 2012 11:51 pm

Reidmar wrote:
Colbert Well, l... never thought I would see a fiction that... erm, destroyed my sci-fi happiness that was Stargate. At least SG-1 never got torn apart like this.

Call me a cynic, but I personally believe that there is probably an author out there who did this type of thing with SG-1; the fic just hasn't been found yet.
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PostSubject: Re: Stargate: Atlantis's horrible, horrible Mirror Universe.   Wed Mar 28, 2012 8:24 am

DONT TAKE AWAY MY HAPPINESS Upset I WANT TO BELIEEEEVE.

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PostSubject: Re: Stargate: Atlantis's horrible, horrible Mirror Universe.   Thu Mar 29, 2012 2:34 am

What the fuck.

I mean, what the fucking fuck.

Ignoring for a moment that Stargate doesn't have a mirror universe (it has a lot of alts, some of which suck more than others) why are they being portrayed this way? McKay is an idiot, Carter's a doormat, and Sheppard is some sort of crazed sex fiend- I suppose if by "mirror universe" they mean "all the characters bear no resemblance to themselves beyond name" I could sort of see it, but still...
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PostSubject: Re: Stargate: Atlantis's horrible, horrible Mirror Universe.   Thu Mar 29, 2012 5:03 pm

Well, considering that the Trek mirror universe has characters that are, as the name suggests, diametrically opposite to each others' regular universe counterparts, than per the way you described it, this fits the bill. Regular Sheppard is a friendly, easy-going guy while Mirror!Shep is a sex fiend, Regular Carter is a smart, strong-willed and tenacious USAF major while Mirror!Carter is a sex slave... well, you get the idea.
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PostSubject: Re: Stargate: Atlantis's horrible, horrible Mirror Universe.   Tue Apr 03, 2012 2:25 am

Reidmar wrote:
DONT TAKE AWAY MY HAPPINESS Upset I WANT TO BELIEEEEVE.


Twisted Evil

You can find some at the Angst archive.

Quote :
otherwise known as the issues of consent archive.

Issues of consent = rape.

Quote :
If you do not like stories containing physical and/or psychological abuse, and non-consensual sex. Please find another archive.

A nice combination of don't likee, no readee and door, arse and way out.
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PostSubject: Re: Stargate: Atlantis's horrible, horrible Mirror Universe.   Mon Apr 30, 2012 10:19 pm

DUN DUN DUNNNNN

EDIT: No, wait...

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