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 Charizard is a Hunk of Burning Love for James

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knightwithoutacause
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PostSubject: Charizard is a Hunk of Burning Love for James   Thu Mar 01, 2012 10:22 am

This is my first MiSTing here, and it is my second one over all. I always want to improve, so let me know what I did wrong (if I did anything wrong) so that I can learn to not do that in the next MiSTing.

 

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] by Enviru.

 

Ash was training with his pokemon and his friends, I guess. It doesn't say why he wanted to see Charizard flamethrower something or someone. He did, it was just Ash he belched a torrent of flames. Cling to this portrayal of Charizard; it will be the last you see of him.

 

These sentence structures are killing me. I can understand making mistakes regarding punctuation sometimes, everyone's human after all, but these sentences don't even have a structure!
Quote :
Keeping the pokeball gripped securely in his hand he resumed his getaway, all the while dreaming about the boss’ ‘praise’, so entrenched was he in his delusions that he failed to notice the lone tree root that’d been dislodged.


 

Is The Lone Tree Root kin to The Lone Ranger? I will admit that I am glad to see James making a blunder while attempting to steal a pokemon. These little bits of their true personalities just make me angry since it shows that the writer had potential to write them in character. Well, except for the tail-rape.

Quote :
“I…n-no, you can’t—AH—do this! Please don’t…ngh!” He choked down a gasp as Charizard worried at his hardening nipples, biting down gently then soothing away the sting. He continued down, paying no heed to the blue-haired boy’s pleas, sensing the truth in his lustful smell and leaking member.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen! If a girl or boy says no, it isn't rape if his or her body responds to the stimuli.

EW, he has a leaking member? Is there some kind of penis plumber around to help him fix that problem?

Quote :
Feeling it wiggle freely he opened his eyes and saw that Charizard was standing too far for it to be him, Then what? Oh god, is he using his tail?!?

 

Charizard is fucking him with his tail. In case others don't remember what Charizard looks like: .
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]. The tip and a portion up his tale are made of fire! I just knew it would happen eventually. Someone took "Sex is on Fire" literally.



This is a short fan fiction, so I'm going to leave the rest for any other Wagers who want to have a go at this one. [/size]
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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Re: Charizard is a Hunk of Burning Love for James   Thu Mar 01, 2012 11:15 am

I refuse to accept Charizard sexing up James unless James is in his Moltress costume.
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Ya-u

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PostSubject: Re: Charizard is a Hunk of Burning Love for James   Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:49 am

Reepicheep-chan wrote:
I refuse to accept Charizard sexing up James unless James is in his Moltress costume.

That could make a very interesting crack fic.
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Harley Quinn hyenaholic
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PostSubject: Re: Charizard is a Hunk of Burning Love for James   Fri Mar 02, 2012 5:27 am

I refuse to accept Charizard sexing up James unless Charizard is in his Jesse costume

Also, before anybody else can get in, I'm going to say, "It's a hunka hunka burnin' James."
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https://www.fanfiction.net/~breechloader
Braigwen
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PostSubject: Re: Charizard is a Hunk of Burning Love for James   Fri Mar 02, 2012 9:17 pm

This could also be another attack being formulated.

"Charizard! Take him down with Flaming Turd!"

Have Jane Austin direct it and you'd have an instant hit.
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knightwithoutacause
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PostSubject: Re: Charizard is a Hunk of Burning Love for James   Sat Mar 03, 2012 10:34 pm

It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!

Confusion and Burn inflicted!

Ointment doesn't work for the burn!
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4shadowedice4
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PostSubject: Re: Charizard is a Hunk of Burning Love for James   Sun Mar 04, 2012 2:42 am

knightwithoutacause wrote:
The tip and a portion up his tale are made of fire!


If you're going to point out a stories mistakes in the: spelling, grammar, etc. area you should at least use proper grammar, yourself.
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knightwithoutacause
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PostSubject: Re: Charizard is a Hunk of Burning Love for James   Sun Mar 04, 2012 12:55 pm

4shadowedice4 wrote:
knightwithoutacause wrote:
The tip and a portion up his tale are made of fire!


If you're going to point out a stories mistakes in the: spelling, grammar, etc. area you should at least use proper grammar, yourself.

Though what you bolded was a spelling mistake, I concede that I did make an error. Thank you for pointing it out.
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