Why God, Why?


 
HomeHome  FAQFAQ  RegisterRegister  Log in  

Share | 
 

 Don't Rain on My Parade

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Lady Anne
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-12
Age : 41
Location : The land of the fruits and nuts

PostSubject: Don't Rain on My Parade   Fri Dec 23, 2011 10:27 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Once upon a time, a fanbrat watched Titanic. Inspired, she decided to create a beautiful, perfect singer with the apparent ability to a.) predict the future of music and b.) gain the love of a scrawny artist.

We start with Jack's POV:

Quote :
"Oh great." I mumbled as we walked through. The Titanic. That's all everybody can talk about. It's here and it's in my view everywhere I look.
Maybe you should try looking in the opposite direction.

Quote :
The thing is, I can't afford a ticket on the world's largest ship. Only the wealthiest people get to go because they can afford a ticket. The third class,which is me, can be lucky enough to scrape something up to afford a measley ticket to go to America.
Oddly enough, I'm pretty sure the majority of people who boarded the Titanic weren't wealthy. The real money-makers on these ships were the large numbers of steerage passengers.

Quote :
I sighed at the thought of holding a ticket to Titanic.
Damn! I can't afford a ticket on the largest moving deathtrap ever built by the hands of man in all history!

Quote :
When I mean eat, I really mean drink. We saved all our money and only bought food when we absolutely needed it. Drinks were cheaper, and they always cheered us up.
Alcohol poisoning. It's what's for breakfast.

Quote :
"Okey!" Farbizio agreed, with his thick accent.
It's so thick you can't understand his name.

Quote :
Bon Temps always had a show while everyone drank and ate. The bar resembled an old time western place.
I don't know...would that really be a draw in early 20th century England? And I'm guessing the fanbrat doesn't realize that those "old time western places" were still very much alive and well in 1912.

Quote :
Please put you hands together for Kassandra and Bridget!"
Kassandra's mother was a Kardashian.

Quote :
The door at the top of the stairs opened and a beautiful girl with long brown hair with blonde streaks and soft curls at the end came out. She was wearing a show girl outfit that was peach color and yellow with a matching veil around her shoulders. I thought she was very attractive.
Anachronistic name? Check. Perfect hair? Check. Ability to attract the interest of the Suethor's favorite canon character? Check.

Also, don't veils usually go on the head rather than the shoulders?

Quote :
When she opened her mouth, evryone perked up.
She'd been smoking so much weed that her breath made everyone high.

Quote :
(A/N: Just so you know, I imagine the Glee version, and these girls aren't lesibians. No offense to them or anyone)

(A/N: This is the brunette, and this is the blone , and thisis together)
Dear Author,

Authors' notes belong at the beginning or end, not the middle. Also, you can't put a link in a chapter at FF.net.

Signed,
The Readers

PS. Glee is a product of the 21st century. It did not exist in 1912.

PPS. What the fuck is a lesibian? Is it a native of Lesibia?

Quote :
Every single day! I walk down the street, I hear people say baby so sweet

Every since puberty! Everybody stares at me boys, girls, I can't help baby!
This song didn't exist in 1912, either.

Quote :
She was walking through the crowd, playing with people's hair, coats, and other things.
Like their ding-a-ling-a-lings.

Quote :
When she ruffled my hair, I saw her eyes were a gorgeous hazel, but there was mostly green in them.
And yet another Sue trait! Gorgeous eyes (though I'll give the author points for not describing them as food or gemstones).

Quote :
They both hit a high note, and their voices blended. No wonder they're going on the Titanic.
The locals pooled their money and bought tickets to get rid of them.

Quote :
As I gathered my stuff, I looked up at one of the poker tables. Two guys were on fire.
Wow, and I thought shooting someone for cheating at poker was harsh.

Quote :
I knew they were thinking I was just another idiot, but I was going to prove them wrong.
Good luck with that.

Then we switch to Kim's Khloe's Kourtney's Kassandra's POV:

Quote :
I giggled, as I took the hair pins out of my hair, and put it up in a bangs fell out so I just swept them to the side, and they fell a little over my left eye.
Half the sentence doesn't make sense, and the other half makes me think Kassandra is channeling the 80's.

Quote :
My parents traveled over from America to England, and my mother got pregnant with me here. They left me at an orphanage when I was ten.
Another Sue trait! The twagic past. Oh, woe is me!

Quote :
I could still remember my parents.
Not surprising, since they gave you up when you were 10. Most ten-year-olds have pretty well-developed memories.

Quote :
I felt a pang of pity for her. She was so beautiful.
Beauty is tragic, especially when you're playing second fiddle to Mary Sue.

Quote :
She always told me I was beautiful, but she was breathtaking. Her long wavy, and sometimes straight golden hair always perfect, and her brown eyes so innocent, and pure. Her mouth had rosy lips, and straight white teeth, and she had perfect pale skin that glowed with youth.
Sue 2 is a Cullen.

Quote :
Me on the other hand, had long brown hair that had slightly dark blonde streaks through it, and hazel eyes that were mostly a dark green. My skin was tan, but I had a ton of freckles on my arms, and some on my legs, and I didn't have rosy lips. I luckily had straight white teeth, but my pale pink lips weren't as pretty as Bridget's. I was pretty, but not beautiful. I didn't care though, I was happy being the sometimes tomboy, and sometimes girly girl I was.
I'm not really that beautiful! The repeated descriptions of my appearance don't mean anything! I'm an Average Sue (TM).

Quote :
I wasn't manly or super prissy like how a proper lady should be, I was just me.
Proper ladies were supposed to be manly?

Quote :
I was the Rat and she was a Mouse.
I gotta give the author points for creativity here. Never before have I seen a pair of Sues described as rodents.
Back to top Go down
http://www.angelfire.com/yt/anneblair/index.html
textrix

avatar

Join date : 2010-12-22

PostSubject: Re: Don't Rain on My Parade   Wed Dec 28, 2011 8:08 pm

This is so awful that I love it and desire more.

By the way, I died at this:
Quote :
She was walking through the crowd, playing with people's hair, coats, and other things.



Back to top Go down
bleachedblackcat
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-11

PostSubject: Re: Don't Rain on My Parade   Tue Jan 03, 2012 6:44 pm

How many chapters until we find out that the Sues are A) Virgins B) Are virgins on the inside because the only sex they've had was being raped even though they are more or less singing strippers who are being sent on a ship to keep the men happy?
Back to top Go down
EileenK98
Recovering Fanbrat
Recovering Fanbrat
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 49
Location : very, very close to Chris

PostSubject: Re: Don't Rain on My Parade   Tue Jan 03, 2012 9:39 pm

"Story not found"

Guess we'll never know, then.
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Don't Rain on My Parade   

Back to top Go down
 
Don't Rain on My Parade
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» "The Rain in Spain Stays Mainly in the Plain"
» [100513] Hyori KBS Happy Together S3 with Rain, Goo Hara, Lee Joon (MBLAQ)
» Set Fire to the Rain
» [101127] Bi (Rain) - Rainism, Hip Song & Friends @ Asiad 16 [480M/avi]
» [100529] Rain @ Kim Jung Eun's Chocolate

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Why God, Why? :: The Sporking Table :: New Releases-
Jump to: