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 In my day we had proper trolls!

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Recovering Fanbrat
Recovering Fanbrat

Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 49
Location : very, very close to Chris

PostSubject: In my day we had proper trolls!   Sat Dec 10, 2011 3:54 pm

I wasn't sure I should even put this here, as it's not even an entertaining troll fic. It's just . . .

Here, read it.

Quote :
Tortle Ataek » by assburglar
Sam and Dean Windchesters find a hive of... TUROTELS.

Yeah, bad sign right away.

Quote :
One day Dena Winchestar and his brothre Same Winchestar were pering into the sewere.

"look samm" dan said excitedly. "it's trurrtles!"

"I see them!" samemre said louadly, waving his sasskwatch arms around. "Those toireltes ar dsteroerying the sewehrs!"

Look, author, setting your spell check to "scramble" does not a badfic make. You'll have to do better than that.

Quote :
"CASTOELE" he screamed. "Don't do that it's scray and i amlost peed."

"DO YU NEED A NEW DIEPER?" Castwywey asked.

"cCASTIEL." dena said, blushing like a potato. "I DON'T WEERA DYPARS ANYMORE, I'M A BIG BOI."


That's some . . . creative spelling, there. How the hell do you pronounce "Castwywey" anyway?

Quote :
Dena strated cryng liek a bitch.

Then he woke up.

"wow, I was draminng" he said, morningly.

"ok yu where, but we hvae a turrrtlet cayce," sam said with a knife in his hand.

This is the last time the turtles are actually mentioned.

I now present Chapter 2, in its entirety:

Quote :
Sam stabbed Dean repeatedly in the heart because he still had that knife from Chapter 1.

Then, he started getting ready for Dean's funeral which happens in the next chapter.

Yeah, that's it. And every word is spelled correctly! Dammit, in the good old days, we had trolls who kept up their bad spelling from chapter to chapter! What, did you forget to mess it up, or what?

On to the third (and thankfully, last) chapter!

Quote :
Samp Winchets was at Dean's fenural because he kilt him in chapter 2 remember?

Catstall was the funerel 2, & he was dteh preechre.

"now that don is deaded, he can stop draging his vajina all round"

Samp punched Stac because DEAN W;AS STHIOLL HIS BORTHER GODMADIT (a/n oops I swered)

I saw that "don" and thought for a second that the Turtles were in this after all. Nope, that's supposed to be Dean/Dena/Den/Doon/choose your own spelling.

Then there's an attempt at slash:

Quote :
Castile was angry because he was not a sxc object (a/n I think the word sex is too pornogaphic ew_

But sam said sorry and gronted with his pants off

Castile saw what he had to do and kissed sam a few times

And then he touched his you-know-what and white stuff came out and got everywhere ew "sam said" what is this

"castile said" I don't' know let's get you a shower big boy

~*~A/N~*~ what do you think I never wrote sxc scenes before

No kidding, really?

Most of the reviews are either pissed off

Quote :
Umm... This was writen as a joke right? Other wise you need some serious rework here... I'm not even going to try and touch on a story line (that is defenetly the greater of the evils). But even so... Almost any document you type in offers this magical thing called SPELL CHECK, why don't you use it? I means seriously... You misspelled Sam for crying out loud... It's a freaking three letter word! It's just... I don't even know where to begin... I hope your writing gets better...

or else playing off the weirdness of the whole thing

Quote :
David Cameron
2010-12-28 . chapter 1
This is the best story I have read in ages. I think I will spend 15 years making this into a crappy movie. I will also make it 3D just because I can.

Bitches love crappy movies in 3D.

but one person clearly doesn't get the joke.

Quote :
Pandora's Lament
2010-12-26 . chapter 1
I'm sorry to say, but your writing isn't very good.

This is a joke, I know, but a terribly old, and immature one. I see you are in need to some serious lessons in grammar and punctuation, so let's go over the basics.

Immediately I am drawn to the fact that there is a mistake right there in the title. "Tortle Ataek." It should be corrected to "Turtle Attack," as this is only proper spelling.

In fact, your whole story is littered with spelling and grammatical errors. Here, I shall help you.

S/he proceeds to rewrite the first chapter, correcting the spelling and grammar as though the content was perfectly okay.

Quote :
This story is so riddled with pointless errors it was an eyesore to read. Sadly, even edited, this story can't pass off as good. There is literally no point to it. If you want us to believe you aren't a good and serious writer, well, you've convinced us all.

There is no way this author is serious. Save your reviews, and just torch this abomination.
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Join date : 2010-12-22

PostSubject: Re: In my day we had proper trolls!   Mon Dec 12, 2011 10:52 pm

This *has* to be a reference to the infamous turtle meme/thing:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

The author spells it phonetically similar.

Otherwise, I have no fucking clue as to any basis in reality or logic here.
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Join date : 2010-10-01
Age : 35

PostSubject: Re: In my day we had proper trolls!   Tue Dec 13, 2011 8:40 am

Yeah, this fail troll is fail and totally didn't prompt you to make a thread about it. Rolling Eyes
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In my day we had proper trolls!
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