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 Run Away Mom

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TheIan
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
TheIan


Join date : 2009-06-12
Location : Dining car on the Train of Time, DenLiner

Run Away Mom Empty
PostSubject: Run Away Mom   Run Away Mom EmptyThu Jan 19, 2012 3:43 pm

Power Rangers Samurai is not a good series.

The first series after Saban bought back Power Rangers from Disney and it sucks. In comparison to its source material Samurai Sentai Shinkenger, Shinkenger is infinitely better. I suggest you go check it out. In fact, Super Sentai is just plain awesome.

So imagine my surprise the sub-category of Samurai in the Power Rangers section of the Pit has nothing but crap.

It was either Run Away Mom or another fic where one of the female characters found out they had a twin sister. I chose to go with the one that looked like it was written by a preteen. The other I might hold off some other time.

So what can we expect from this story?

Quote :
"You really need to take one test,Em!"Mia pleeded through the bathroom door. The boys were out for the night running an errand with Jayden,so was Ji. "Okay,fine,"Emily huffed as she got the test out of the box.
I quit.
Seriously, author? Commas need to breathe.

Emily is the youngest member of the ranger team, and she's pregnant. So instead of telling everyone, what does she decide?
Quote :
5 minutes later,the test beeped... positive. Emily knew she had to tell Mia it was negitive for 2 reasons.1)To get Mia off of her back and 2)That way she could leave without anyone knowing couldn't tell anyone that she was even Jayden.
To paraphrase Hamlet Act V Scene I; "Alas, poor Logic! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of infinite wisdom, of most excellent common sense..."
Yep, the author took logic and common sense, and threw it out a window. We haven't even started into this story yet, and damn all things, the author wants to hurt us bad.

So with Emily all packed up and ready to run away, she meets the leader of the team, the red ranger, Jayden, who's also the baby-daddy.
Quote :
"What are you thinking about?"Emily asked when she had the courage to go in left her bag outside the door where Jayden couldn't see it. "Nothing,Em,"Jayden replied wacking a dummy. "Jayden,I know you all too well that you don't have something on your mind right now. Baby, tell me what's on your mind,"Emily said as she walked over to a bench and motioned for him to sit down with her.
Oh, for fuuuuuuuuuck's sake, author, no one talks like that!

Spoiler:

So Emily just saunters off without another word and we're given shitty padding in the form of Celine Dion.
This still doesn't mean you're a good writer, author. You want the readers to sympathize with the character, not depress them.
And the chapter ends with a cliff-hanger! Oh noes!
Quote :
The next morning, the rangers woke up to find Emily missing, and Mia had a feeling that the test wasn't negitive like she thought.
Wow, a character that isn't completely rock-stupid. That's a bit of a surprise.

Since the first chapter was so short, I think I'll go ahead and see what kind of pain the second chapter has to offer...
Quote :
Chapter 2:Searching For You

A month had gone by since Emily had ran away. She had died her hair bark brown in order to aviod the police while still being able to go out in public. Emily had found a low-paying job and a halfway house where she was staying. Her best friends there were Jan and Joanna. Jan was always there to comfort Emily when she needed it and Joanna was Emily's mid wife that was going to help deliver her baby.

"Our top story tonight, the story of Emily Prittle,the girl who went missing a month ago. There are rumors speculating now that she was pregnant when she disapeared, so we went to the source of the rumors,"the anchor man said as a video of Jayden poppd up on the screen. "Do you think Miss. Prittle was pregnant when she disappeared?"A reporter asked Jayden. "No," was Jayden's one word reply.

"As you can see, we didn't get much information out of him. More stories coming your way after these comercial messages,"the anchor man said.

And so,Emily flipped through the channels. All of the headlines where the same thing, her.

All Emily knew is that Jayden was searching for her, and he wouldn't stop searching until he found her.
Run Away Mom 199471
Are you fucking kidding me?!

This story sucks. The writing is poorly done, there is little to no thought, and there are commas everywhere that seem to suffocate, and the whole concept and reasoning behind it is just stupid.
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Mouse
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Mouse


Join date : 2011-01-22

Run Away Mom Empty
PostSubject: Re: Run Away Mom   Run Away Mom EmptyThu Jan 19, 2012 10:50 pm

Uh fangirl, if she really was knocked up, she'd get a fucking abortion. Why? Because Emily is kinda responsible for protecting the fucking planet and a whole lot of people are going to suffer because she decided TEH BABEE is more important than billions of lives. She's either going to abort or find a replacement.

Sorry but stories where the ranger girl's get knocked up always did cheese me off. They have bigger things to worry about than babies. But then again I'm one of those weirdos who prefer to read about them battling evil than all this crap about who's snagging who, so obviously I don't belong in the random.
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Penguin
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
Penguin


Join date : 2009-07-18
Location : Wild Gray Yonder

Run Away Mom Empty
PostSubject: Re: Run Away Mom   Run Away Mom EmptyFri Jan 20, 2012 1:14 am

ITT adults give a shit about Power Rangers
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kryceksangel

kryceksangel


Join date : 2009-10-21
Location : Oregon

Run Away Mom Empty
PostSubject: Re: Run Away Mom   Run Away Mom EmptySun Jan 29, 2012 4:11 pm

Mouse wrote:
Uh fangirl, if she really was knocked up, she'd get a fucking abortion. Why? Because Emily is kinda responsible for protecting the fucking planet and a whole lot of people are going to suffer because she decided TEH BABEE is more important than billions of lives. She's either going to abort or find a replacement.

Mouse you just made me like the fangirl. Go Emily for doing the smarter thing by not having an abortion. I will agree with you on fighting evil being more important. She should give the morpher to someone else while she's pregnant. Mind you I haven't watched this show since Jungle Fury so I don't know how they got their powers.
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TheIan
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
TheIan


Join date : 2009-06-12
Location : Dining car on the Train of Time, DenLiner

Run Away Mom Empty
PostSubject: Re: Run Away Mom   Run Away Mom EmptySun Jan 29, 2012 5:53 pm

kryceksangel wrote:
Mind you I haven't watched this show since Jungle Fury so I don't know how they got their powers.
Shinkenger the five use cell-phones that turn into calligraphy brushes (conveniently called Shodophones) and draw Japanese Kanji in the air to morph or conjure abilities. At their disposal, they use discs to attach to their swords for summoning their personal weapons or using a signature attack.

Again, Shinkenger is better than Power Rangers Samurai.
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Disco Stu
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Disco Stu


Join date : 2009-10-22
Age : 39

Run Away Mom Empty
PostSubject: Re: Run Away Mom   Run Away Mom EmptyMon Jan 30, 2012 11:01 am

Do they still explode into chunks of bologna, though?
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