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 The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic

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WD40
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PostSubject: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Mon Dec 05, 2011 5:27 pm

Do you know what really makes me want to read a fanfic? A 600-word opening authours note that tells me how to read the fic, and that the whole thing is pretty much all about the author doing this: [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Welcome, everyone to the tale of The Scar

First, let’s get the author’s note out of the way:

Quote :
The most recent one Mortal Kombat 9, (or Mortal Kombat 2011) really was the main trigger point for this story. And I just immediately mentally inserted myself into the story and gave myself an arsenal, and a fighters name along with my real one, (yes you'll see my real name in this, if you wanna hunt me down then bring it on) and obviously since I'm a teenage guy, the girls Kitana, Jade, and Mileena, REALLY caught my eye…for like a full 48 minutes.

Rolling Eyes

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Also I'm gonna try and keep this realistic,

*gigglesnort*

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so if an X-ray move is performed by certain characters it will be a kill. Sorry if you were hoping for a lot of bone cracking goodness. There will still be X-ray moves in this story, just not in every single fight.

...

Does anyone else out there come across things like this? Complete ignorance over how a piece of prose is created, a belief that every single in-game element needs to be present in order to remain faithful to the source material?

Hay, author – I’m calling bullcrap on your story! You completely fail to describe the conditions of the energy bars!

Quote :
Our main character's name is Kyle by the way, but he goes by the name Black Scar when he's in Mortal Kombat (sounds racist I know).



Quote :
Just throwing that out there to avoid confusion.

Presumably, the fic as written without this note fails so hard at introducing the main character that it needs to be included here. Thanks author, good to know you’re thinking of us.

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He's not a Gary Stu by the way, but if he ever starts to seem like it just let me know and I'll punish myself.

Cool. What I’ll do then is whenever I identify a sueish trait, I’ll give you a punishment. Sound cool?

Quote :
This story is also one of those that will switch from P.O.V. to P.O.V. so…yeah fun fact.

[seriousbzns] Okay, I know by now that others have touched on this little habit that badfic writers have, but here’s my 2 cents – WHY? HOW? Can anyone out there name a single book that does this? Anything? From ever? From anywhere? I’d wager you can’t, because it’s fucking stupid, right? So what puts it in these authors’ minds to do it in fanfiction? [/seriousbzns]

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Kyle's P.O.V.

Urrrgh

Quote :
Perhaps it would be best to just tell you who I am and why I'm wearing a hockey mask and a large selection of other gear.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Quote :
My real name is Kyle Phillips. I'm 16 years old, my height is 6'1, I weigh 187 pounds, I've got dark brown hair that reaches down my neck but doesn't
touch my shoulders and my bangs hang in front of my eyes a little. Dark brown eyes, and I have a pretty good muscle build but sadly I'm not as bulky as some
of the other dudes here.

 Sue Trait #1 unnessasary descriptive paragraph.

Poke yourself in the eye.

Quote :
The guy in the yellow palette outfit with the mask on had a similar build to mine but his muscles were still a little bigger than mine.

What’s a palatte outfit? Oh dear, author, have you read somewhere that Scorpion, Sub Zero and their mates are ‘pallate-swap’ characters, not understood what the term means, and decided to work it in anyway. That really is sad.

Quote :
When I was fourteen I witnessed a murder, a teenage guy had the shit kicked out of him by two older men in leather jackets and both had some type of mask on. I hated myself for watching that happen and not doing anything about it. It literally ate away at me for months until I finally decided that I wasn't gonna let this continue to happen, not in my city.

 Sue trait #2 Twagic past & vigilante wangst. (Specifically vomited up out of nowhere for no other reason than to attempt to add depth to the character)

Run your shin into a sharp-edged coffee table.

Quote :
So I took up karate lessons and practiced the art of Jujitsu for a little over six and a half months. I reached my 3rd degree black belt status when I turned fifteen and decided that I was ready for what I was about to do.

Novice to black belt in less than a year...

 Sue trait #3 Unbearable, eye-rolling faux-awesomeness.

Drop a cinderblock on your foot.

Quote :
My father was a gun collector and somewhat of a world war 3 nut. So I stole a few things from his house (yes my parents are divorced) and using my tinkering skills I adjusted them to create a warrior.

 Sue trait #4 “Tinkering skills” right out of nowhere.

Snap a mousetrap on your nose.

Quote :
My uniform consists of a black T-shirt, thick black jeans held tight to my legs with a black leather belt and tucked into heavy black combat boots.
Covering my black T-shirt is a Kevlar vest strong enough to stop a twelve gauge shot gun shell from point blank range, but using my handy skills I've fashioned a little extra protection into it. I designed basically a ribcage made of brown tinted steel that hooks into the vest from the back and comes around to the front giving the vest the appearance of being ribbed. Four ribs cover the lower parts of the vest on each side and are held together from the spine like design on the back.

I’ve already had you punish yourself for block-paragraph-description nonsense. But you can go ahead and do it again for this shit.

Quote :
The ribs are one and a half inches thick of solid steel and can stop a 357. Caliber bullet dead in it's tracks. Sure it makes the vest a little heavier but protection is important.

Anyone wanna hazard a guess as to how heavy tis whole get-up should be? Why not just pop yourself in a suit of plate? Or some riot gear a-la Stryker?

Quote :
As I told you before, a hockey mask is covering my face only I fiddled with that a bit too. To cover all of the exposed holes in the mask I used a powerful adhesive to insert steel plates into the mask which took hours getting them into the correct position inside the mask. I then did the same thing to the exterior, covering the front as well. So the steel covers everything except for the eyes, much like the masks in the video game Army of Two.

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Those two spots are the only area where a weak spot on me is exposed. And although the mask covers my face only the clip goes around to the back of my head, so all my hair is exposed along with my vulnerable squishy flesh. Also I painted the grey steel that covered the mask entirely white but over the left eye slit I have painted on it a long black line that looks like it was gouged open with some type of serrated blade.

The scar.

That's where my name came from, the Black Scar.

Are we done with the fucking description yet?

Quote :
There are black wrist guards on each of my arms for obviously wrist, and forearm protection, and black fingerless leather gloves cover my hands.
That's my outfit,

Thank Christ.

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my weapons though are a different story. Holstered on my back is a [...]

OH FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU, AUTHOUR! JUST...

FUCK...

YOU.

Quote :
Holstered on my back is a sawn off 1887 Winchester lever action shotgun. They're really rare nowadays but my dad had managed to get his hands on one and I took it with me due to my love for lever action rifles. It's a ten gauge that holds five rounds in a tubular magazine, my personal favorite weapon. Two Smith & Wesson performance center Model 629 revolver magnums are holstered at my hips. And next to the shotgun on my back I have a Grey eagle heavy duty machete. The blade itself is only sixteen inches, but including the handle it is a large 23 inches, perfect for cutting off limbs. And lastly if all else fails I have a nice scorpion brass knuckle bowie knife sheathed on my left ankle. The blade itself is only seven inches while the entire thing is thirteen.
I'm pretty confident that I can kick some serious ass.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Quote :
Oh! That's right, I should tell you where I am and why I'm here too.

Only if you feel like it... Don’t feel like you have to.

Quote :
About two weeks ago, it was the 1 year anniversary of me becoming Black Scar and quite literally fighting crime in the streets. I actually felt a bit like the people from the movie Kick-Ass, performing vigilantly justice. Only I wasn't as merciful or as clumsy as Kick-Ass, I knew what I was doing.

What fan fic are we in again?

Although, the idea of a vigilante-yupe superhero in the Mortal Kombat world isn’t totally out of the question... It’s essentially who Kung Lao is.

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When I got home one day, waiting for me in the mail was a scroll saying it was an invitation to a tournament called Mortal Kombat. Where warriors from all around would clash in a tournament to find the ultimate fighter, basically the last part of the invitation said there would be a pretty nice prize for the winner, cash wise. And in the current shit state of my nations economy I needed the money.

Author, stop trying to be topical, it really doesn’t suit you.

Also, I don’t believe there has ever been a cash prise in Mortal Kombat. Even those few fighters who could possibly had used it as a motivation, for example: Johnny Cage and Kano, didn’t. Cage wanted fame, and Kano wanted power.

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An old fashioned boat picked us up from where we were waiting and took us here, to an island that I'd never heard of and we were told by a couple of guards to line up in no particular order and wait for instructions.

The two satchels and my backpack I brought with me were left in some type of dining room where we were told dinner would be served after the tournaments
introduction, which was definitely taking it's damn time to start up. We must've been standing here for at least a solid fifteen minutes now and nothing's happened.

You’ve watched the movie as well, haven’t you fanbrat?

Quote :
3rd Person P.O.V.

Grrrr

Anyway, Shang Tsung enters, in old-dude form.

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His age is over 500 long years and he stands at 5'11' weighing about 210 pounds. He may look harmless but in reality he is a very powerful sorcerer, holding magnificent ancient power.

That’s how you build suspense and menace into a character, you know. By just blurting out how awesome they are right off the bat so that no one is at all confused or interested in who they are.

Quote :
Another figure appeared to the left of the old man, Kyle could tell that this one was a male too but he didn't look like an ordinary man to him. His skin was a dark yellow color and he was dressed in white and black combat robe held together with red threads. His age is unknown, but he stands at an alarming 6'5' and weighs a heavy 280 pounds but only appeared as if he weighed 200. The real secret to his heavy weight was concealed in his arms, he has black talons protruding from his forearms and concealed beneath his flesh are two long piercing blades which he conceals for battles. He is Baraka, a Tarkatan soldier who will be partaking in the tournament.

Scratching your heads over the rather specific height/weight descriptions? Well, visiting here should give you the answers to that.

Oh, and this is Baraka’s face:

Spoiler:
 

You’d have thought that might have raised an eyebrow wouldn’t you... Perhaps warranted some form of description? Hmm?

Now, however, we get to a description that the author is REALLY interested in however...

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Kitana.

Quote :
she has a round face, brown eyes, thick pink lips and long eyelashes. Her hair is long and black that reaches down past her back, creamy smooth very lightly tanned skin, and she appears as if she is in her early twenties but in reality she is 10,000 years old.

[...]

She was dressed in cerulean colored bustier which has silver trimmings and a tear-shaped bust, which holds her cleavage together with black crossed strings. She also wears a thong of similar design which has a long, flowing loincloth at the front with upbraided designs in the center panel that are similar to the subtle designs on her blue mask and bustier. Kitana also has a tiara, silver earrings, thigh high cerulean boots and matching arm gauntlets. And holstered on her back were two steel fans, the blades connected by the blue thread between them were fashioned from solid steel and when closed could be used as daggers, but when open were preferably used for slashing.

She has a fierce attitude and a master of the fighting style eagle claw. She is prone to have a stern personality when it comes close to all matters. But she is
able to loosen up occasionally and have fun. But most of the time she has to show no emotion really other then determination, mainly to show her father she was a great warrior.

All in all, she was a very attractive, and amazing women.

And here, the author ‘Deathblade131313’, takes a break to wipe his monitor clean, but not before making sure that there’s an opening in Kitana’s schedule for a future beau:

Quote :
Plus she knew that her father would be furious with her if he knew she was on a manhunt. So she did her best to keep her inner desires to herself. She would find a suitor, one day.

Jade appears next, and the whole process starts all over again.

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And beneath that she had a black thong covering her girly parts.

Pfft.

Also:

The Fic wrote:
[She] is sarcastic, patronizing and cocky towards her opponents, and incredibly ruthless towards those she considers a personal enemy.
Mortal Kombat Wiki wrote:
She is sarcastic, patronizing and cocky towards her opponents, and incredibly ruthless and towards those she considers a personal enemy

Colbert

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Kyle's P.O.V.

Bleh.

Quote :
Suddenly I heard somebody begin to whisper a few bodies down to my left. "Hey beautiful, Johnny Cage." Even though it was only one sentence, I could just feel the ego coming out of the words, and out of curiosity I had to glance to the side to see what mouth those words came out of.

Quote :
3rd Person P.O.V.

Guragh

We get an all-too formulaic description of Johnny Cage here, you already know the drill.

Following the description we get a description of what the hubbub is all about:

Quote :
Kyle then noticed that his body was turned to look at someone else in the line, it was a girl and by the look on her face, she was probably really wishing he would die right now.

"Good for you." She said, and that's when Kyle noticed why he was talking to her with his cocky attitude. She was hot.

She stood at 5'9', weighing 140 pounds...

OH, FUCKING HELL...

Jesus, author, mix it up a bit at least! Jeez!

Quote :
Although it was obvious this women wasn't interested, that didn't seem to stop this Johnny Cage's pursuit for sex. "What, 'Massive strike'? 'Citizen Cage'? 'Ninja Mime'? None of those ring a bell?" He asked her, confusion in his voice.

Now that he mentioned those names I actually realized who this guy was. He was rumored to be a major martial artist who never needed a stunt man or CGI because he was experienced with martial arts enough.

Ehhh... No... He is an actor, who has starred in several martial-arts-style action movies. He is rumoured to be a fake, and is entering the tournament to pad out his portfolio, prove that he’s the real deal and, possibly, get some folks interested enough in the tournament for him to make his directorial debut.

Quote :
"You participate in the most important Mortal Kombat in history! This tournament, the tenth out of nine Outworld victories, will determine Earthrealm's
fate. If you defeat all of your opponents, you will face one final challenge…me." He spoke.

I had a feeling that he was gonna say something like that.

Why? Why on earth would you assume that in a martial arts tournament the old dude who can barely walk would challenge you to the last fight?

 Sue trait #5: Immunity to genre blindness, and unconscious awareness of the fandom he’s in.

I’m adding in all those stupid description boxes you’ve just made me read too. So for this one, go clamp your cock in a George Foreman Grill.

Anyway, it’s time to assert his manliness, because Sonya Blade needs protecting from Johnny Cage.

Quote :
"Leave her alone." I said in my dark voice to disguise myself even though I didn't know anyone here, and stepping to the side a little so they could get a clear look of me.

Heh...

Quote :
my dark voice



Thankfully, Sonya is having none of it:

Quote :
"Wow, nice try kid. But the masked wonder trying to save the damsel in distress bit doesn't work to well when she doesn't need to be saved.

...

...

Yeah... You don’t believe that, do you? That line would suggest that Sonya Blade is in character.

No. The speaker of that line is Johnny Cage, of course. Sonya, presumably, is leaning against a wall fanning herself because of the hunk of manliness that’s just stepped in to preotect her venerable ladyness from the big mean sexually-harassing, jerk.

Quote :
So how about you just take a couple steps backward now okay kid?" He tried to sound mature by insulting my uniform and acting like I was the one who was being childish.

1, Johnny Cage never tries to sound mature.
2, Insulting your uniform isn’t mature.
3, You are being childish. Canon!Sonya would be rolling her eyes right now. Providing she hasn’t already lost interest and wandered off to get on with her job.

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I gritted my teeth and was about to respond but suddenly the girl did for me, "Actually I prefer masked wonder." She said crossing her arms and glaring at Cage, who looked shocked.

I look shocked too... Sonya does not like anyone sticking up for her. She can do that pretty damn well on her own, thankyou very much.

 Sue Trait #6 Woobifcation aura.

Iron your scrote.

Ultimately it’s Shang Tsung that breaks them all up, bringing a close to Chapter 1.

Quote :
"Ladies and gentlemen…as of right now…the Mortal Kombat tournament has begun…"

There’ll be more.
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Chris91
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Mon Dec 05, 2011 6:11 pm

You're a braver man than I am, WD.

All jesting aside, I have to say this fic is a Tuxedo Mark-level crapfest. Anything that starts with a 600-word author's note is doomed to failure from the word "go".
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Howithurts
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Mon Dec 05, 2011 9:54 pm

Quote :
Covering my black T-shirt is a Kevlar vest strong enough to stop a twelve gauge shot gun shell from point blank range

Would this even work?
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Mon Dec 05, 2011 11:55 pm

Howithurts wrote:
Quote :
Covering my black T-shirt is a Kevlar vest strong enough to stop a twelve gauge shot gun shell from point blank range

Would this even work?

Yes. It would not be terribly flexible, and it would be heavy.

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I designed basically a ribcage made of brown tinted steel that hooks into the vest from the back and comes around to the front giving the vest the appearance of being ribbed. Four ribs cover the lower parts of the vest on each side and are held together from the spine like design on the back.

This is completely unnecessary and would make it extremely heavy. I doubt this person has ever held chunk of steel as thick as his "ribs."
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Tue Dec 06, 2011 7:02 am

Why do I get the impression the author fapped to his own description of his Gary Stu? Fap Oh yeah, because he probably did.

And god damn, I'll never understand how authors don't realize just how mind-numbingly fucking boring those long descriptions of outfits are to read. When it's female authors I tend to go "yeah, alright, it's a teenage girl and maybe she really likes clothes; that's conceivable", but I'm starting to think maybe the author just thinks it's all actually important. Instead of giving me a mental image of what the character looks like, it just makes my brain crap out trying to picture this ridiculously detailed outfit, remembering what goes where and what's attached to what and what fabric it is and what colour it is and what pattern it has on it and what shape the earrings are and jesus christ enough already.

I now have given up on trying to picture this character the way you want me to and have made up my own mental image, so you might as well just not give me any description and save yourself the trouble.

And it's even worse when she's a character from the fucking game. We know what her outfit looks like.
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Tue Dec 06, 2011 7:25 am

your mom wrote:
And god damn, I'll never understand how authors don't realize just how mind-numbingly fucking boring those long descriptions of outfits are to read. When it's female authors I tend to go "yeah, alright, it's a teenage girl and maybe she really likes clothes; that's conceivable", but I'm starting to think maybe the author just thinks it's all actually important.

Well, I can think of at least one best-selling author who does this habitually, so there are bad literary examples to follow out there.
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Tue Dec 06, 2011 6:11 pm

FINISH HIM!

DeathBlade whips out a printout of his fic, reads it aloud, I die of agonizing urple

DeathBlade wins!

FATALITY!
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Thu Dec 08, 2011 3:58 pm

Quote :
3rd Person P.O.V.

Glurrgh

Welcome to Chapter 2.

Quote :
Several minutes had passed since Shang Tsung had announced that the tournament had begun and the intro for Mortal Kombat had been completed.

...

I’m going to assume that Darkblade is stating that Shang’s formal introduction to the Mortal Kombat tournament is now complete. Otherwise, it appears that he is telling us that the intro sequence has ended and that we are now in the game proper. That latter description may well cause me to physically punch myself in the face out of sheer amazement.

Quote :
Kyle and the other combatants had been lead back to the large dining area where they're luggage and a feast had been waiting for them.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Quote :
It was obvious that the tournament organizers were providing the combatants with all of this food obviously because they wanted them to stay as well nourished as they possibly could be. Protein from the meat, and vitamins from the other the fruits and vegetables.

[...]

But that's when it struck Kyle. People were sitting together at the tables, partnering up and forming alliances.

Could one of them possiably be a...

Spoiler:
 

Feeling like he’s got no mates, Scar looks around for someone to sit next to who won’t immediately kick his ass, and then...

Quote :
[S]uddenly a voice called out, "Black Scar! Over here!" Kyle looked in the direction of the voice to see a man waving at him motioning for him to come over.

You know what’s coming, don’t you.

Quote :
He stood at 6'1', weighing 197 pounds, and dressed in a white-blue shirt...

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It’s Stryker. No doubt he’s gonna be Scar’s bestest friend in the whole world because Scar is an awesome criminal vigilante who has made Stryker’s job so much by beating up all those nasty villains.

From the author’s note at the start of chapter 1:

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And I like fell in love with the game, so I looked into the series, found as many of the original games as I could and have been a true fan ever since.

Then you’d know that Kurtis Stryker was not introduced into the Mortal Kombat world until MK3. The first time he was involved in the events of Outworld and the tournament was when he was attacked by invading Outrealm forces.

He was never formally invited into the tournament.

Quote :
Kyle's P.O.V.

Uragh

Quote :
"Sit here!" The man said waving me over a second time and I shrugged. I guess I didn't have to make the decision of where to sit anyway.
I cautiously approached still wary of the situation, because now that I was up close I could see this man was a police officer. Did he want to arrest me? I know that the police department was searching for me because I was killing criminals, and for some reason unbeknownst to me, they felt I needed to be stopped. You know I didn't bring crime rate down 50% in my state or anything like that…fucking idiots.

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Sonya is with him, and they all start talking.

Quote :
"So your name is…Black Scar?" She asked, barely able to contain her laughter.

Oh, shit. There I go again. Putting Sonya Blade in character. The line actually goes like this:

Quote :
So your name is…Black Scar?" She asked raising an eyebrow and biting off the end of the asparagus she was holding.

Sue Trait #7: Female characters all immediately fall in love with him. (Even those with practically no interest in a relationship with anyone.)

Place your testicles in a desk vice and tighten until unconscious.

He jokes about not being able to use his real name because of Stryker being sat next to him and Stryker comes out with this:

Quote :
To which he responded, "Hey listen, my name's Kurtis Stryker, but just call me Stryker. And yes I'm a police officer but I know you from back in the states." He said, and for a minute I thought I was in deep shit, but then he said, " And let me tell you, I agree with what your doing."

Anyone who knows Stryker at all, anyone who is, you know, a fan of the Mortal Kombat series, would know that Stryker would never resort to Vigilante justice. He is a super-cop.

This point is made pretty clear in his Armageddon’s ending where he is overcome with power and decides, arguably in an absolute-power-corrupts-absolutly style, not to “allow himself to be confined by the law”. Kinda implying that he allowed himself to be ‘confined’ previously.

Quote :
That took me completely by surprise.

Not me. I called it.

Quote :
I have a fan.

"Really?" I asked

"Absolutely." He said, "I've been rooting for you for a while now, that's why I invited you over to this table. This is the table for all law enforcement units."

Vigilante =/= law enforcement. (Sonya is also a police officer, of sorts, BTW. She’d be just as disgusted with Scar’s methods.)

Eventually, they convince Scar to take his mask off.

Quote :
They were staring and for some reason I felt embarrassed, like I was exposed. Probably because I had never taken my mask off in front of people before and I was a little nervous about their reaction.

"Not bad," Sonya suddenly said nodding her head approvingly.

Herm...

Over all the MK games, Sonya has only ever warmed, romantically, to one character: Johnny Cage. I took a long time, and Johnny was nearly killed in the process.

Quote :
They were mildly shocked when I told them that I was only 16 and still in high school but we didn't linger on that topic for too long.

Law enforcement table!

More conversation turns up this insight:

Quote :
[Sonya] was probably just suppressing her feelings, most women who act tough do that.

She’s Sonya Blade. It’s not an act.

Finally, something happens:

Quote :
Suddenly we heard a raspy voice boom across the area, "Combatants!

*sigh* This is Mortal Kombat. They are ‘Kombatants’. You’re supposed to be a fan.

Quote :
Tomorrow morn, the battles shall begin but tonight you will see a taste of what you all must soon do."

Utterly butchered line from the first film. , it’s supposed to be: “And now for a taste of things to come.”. It’s not as though it’s one of the most iconic scenes from the film Or, indeed, so important the sequence has its own specific soundtrack

Spoiler:
 

The lot of them line up and...

Quote :
[T]that women appeared again, the one in the blue skin tight outfit with the fans on her back. She walked up from behind the stage and stood next to Shang Tsung with her fists clenched. Her eyes wandered from the end of the line traveling slowly closer to me. Until finally her eyes fell on mine.
They seemed to quite literally just freeze the second she saw me, and that's when I realized…

I left my mask on the table!

My face was completely exposed for her to see and I did my best to not looked shocked at this. The mask she wore covered a good portion of her face so I couldn't exactly tell what her expression was but I didn't break off from our eye contact. For some reason, her brown eyes were so attracting to me.

This seems to suggest that Kitana is interested in Scar... At this point in time, Kitana is convinced she is the daughter of Shao Kahn and the heir to the throne of Outworld. There is no way she would be remotely interested in some pleb from Earthrealm, the lot of them are about to become soulfood, literally. Unless a kombatant has conquered at least three realms themselves (Kahn, by this point, has conquered dozens) they are in no way good enough to even speak to her.

Quote :
"Bring out the Tarkatan!" Shang Tsung shouted and almost immediately several guards emerged from the left of the stage and tossed out what looked like a man.

At first I thought it was the man that stood on the stage during the tournament introduction.

The one who looks like this:

Spoiler:
 

Which is still, evidently, not a prominent enough feature to require any form of description.

Quote :
But then I noticed that he was lacking the black talons on his arms, he was also a little bit shorter than him leaving him at about my height.

Erm... You'd have to cut his arms off... They regrow.

Also: this is the second time that this author has refered to the Tarkatan’s blades as being ‘black talons’. They are, and have always been either metallic silver, or bone white. I have never seen them black.

Hell, ‘deathbalde’ got Baraka’s description from the Mortal Kombat wiki entry on him. Just look at the pictures... It ain’t hard!

Quote :
Shang Tsung then turned around and walked towards a small throne at the back of the stage and said, "This Tarkatan has attempted to steal from the emperor himself. The punishment for this action is death, but if he can prove himself in Mortal Kombat, he may go free." He said and my confusion once again grew. I had no clue what a Tarkatan was for the moment,

Here’s a fucking hint. They look like this:

Spoiler:
 

Quote :
But my questioned remained unanswered as Shang Tsung suddenly called out, "Fight!"

3rd Person P.O.V.

Durrgh

Quote :
The Tarkatan rushed forward at Kitana who was standing calmly in her fighting stance, he delivered a right hook at Kitana with all of his energy, but Kitana brought up her left forearm and blocked the blow. Then quickly before the Tarkatan had time to react she unsheathed her right steel fan, opened it, then swung it in a downward arc at him cutting his chest deeply. Blood spurted from the wound and he instantly recoiled and clutched the parted flesh as if it was an attempt to pull it back together.

Okay, credit where credit’s due, the fight scene is actually written competently.

Quote :
He slowly struggled to get back to his feet. His will to fight was slowly depleting

Oh, I guess the author did manage to work in the energy bars.

The fight goes on until...

Quote :
all [the Tarkatan] could do was just stand there in a daze while he waited for his final bits of life to go out.

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Quote :
She unsheathed both her fans but didn't open them, then said out loud "Farewell." She then spun in a once again graceful fashion and in a whirling blue light, quite literally vanished.

[...]

The blue light appeared again but this time behind the Tarkatan and before anyone could blink, Kitana emerged from it and fiercely plunged her fans into the back of the Tarkatans skull.

The sound of his skull and neck shattering from the force applied and the blades slicing through his brain matter was quite audible and everybody, including Kyle, Stryker, and Sonya gasped at what she had done. He was as good as dead now, but apparently she wasn't finished yet.

She left the fans lodged in his head then vanished again in the dazzling blue light and reappeared in front of the Tarkatan. And once again she took hold of the fans, ripping them out of his head and ramming them back in through the eye sockets. The squishy gelatin of his eyes was quickly sliced through and the fans burst through the back of his head.

Kitana had no mercy as she ripped the fans back out of the Tarkatan and let his lifeless body drop to the ground. She then stood above the body with her fans still closed and held at her sides dripping the blood that once was sustaining the creature in front of her. And ignoring the wide eyes and dropped jaws of the audience, Shang Tsung called out, "Kitana…wins a flawless victory."

That’s Kitana’s X-Ray attack from MK 2011.

Spoiler:
 

Quote :
Kyle's P.O.V.

Turrrg

Quote :
Shang Tsung then suddenly rose from his throne and stood to his full height before raising his hands in the air and shouting out, "Fatality!"

Suddenly all the surrounding guards and monk like audience members that I guess had gathered behind us when we weren't paying attention, started to wildly cheer and applaud for this.

What the hell was wrong with these people?

Hmmm... What was that you said earlier in the chapter?

Quote :
I know that the police department was searching for me because I was killing criminals, and for some reason unbeknownst to me, they felt I needed to be stopped.

The Tarkatan was already sentenced to death for stealing, what’s your problem? Kitana has just killed a criminal, right?

Quote :
Then [Kitana] brought [one of her fans] over her face, before slowly lowering it so that her eyes could peak over the material. That's when I noticed that she was looking down at me again. Why was she interested in staring at me?

But that's when she turned her head to the side slightly before winking at me and letting out a small giggle.

Kitana’s strongest, canonical, love interest was with Liu Kang. I have played every Mortal Kombat game to death, and I have never seen Kitana flirt.

Even if she were to, it would not be to a child from a realm that her people are about to eat!


That’s all I can stand for this update. Stay tuned for more.
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Thu Dec 08, 2011 6:46 pm

I should point out that Cage was killed in the process of almost winning over Sonya, repeatedly. He even holds the record for most deaths in the original timeline (speared by Motaro, killed fighting the Deadly Alliance, and of course died along with just about everybody else at Armageddeon)
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Fri Dec 09, 2011 3:20 am

the asylum wrote:
I should point out that Cage was killed in the process of almost winning over Sonya, repeatedly. He even holds the record for most deaths in the original timeline (speared by Motaro, killed fighting the Deadly Alliance, and of course died along with just about everybody else at Armageddeon)

I'm pretty sure he got squished by Motaro in the 2011 timeline too, (you see him in the background during Stryker/Kabal's intro IIRC) now that you mention it...

He seemed to get better though.
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Sat Dec 10, 2011 5:06 pm

Welcome to part 2 of Chapter 2 of The Scar.

Our Not-Sue has just witnessed the brutal slaughter of a petty criminal, something he does in his spare time and that the police are thankful for, and found it horrific.

Quote :
Tsung started talking again, "You have just witnessed what you will all soon have to do. But for now, you must rest. Retrieve your belongings and head to your rooms, our guards shall escort you." He said, "Prepare yourselves combatants, for during your time here it is only safe to let you know…" He paused at that making just about everybody tense up in anticipation of what he was about to say, "Not all of you will leave this island…"

That felt like a kick to the head. This had to be real, we were actually fighting for our lives here? This was a tournament that we had to fight to the death in? Oh God, what was going to happen to us?

Yeah... Scary now you’re beating up people who can potentially fight back, isn’t it, Kyle?

Scar, Stryker and Sonya all agree to work together to apprehend Kano then attempt to flee. Stryker hands out some radios and the let are lead away to their rooms.

It’s worth acknowledging that I’ve come down pretty hard on other fics I’ve sporked on their total lack of description. In some cases events can seem to occur in a total void. So, it’s a bit of a shift to me to be putting the boot in a fic for having too much description:

Quote :
Dropping my bags to the floor I looked around my room. The walls and ceiling were entirely white, aside from the first four feet above the floor, that part was brown. A large king sized bed was at the left wall of the room and there was a glass sliding door covered with white shads in the back that gave me a view of another building in the center of a courtyard. I wasn't sure what it was for but I could figure it out later. And a large fireplace was embedded in the far wall will a strong fire flickering inside.

Various furnishings were lined up on the walls, such as an old polished oak wood dresser, a round table, and a single white couch. This room was definitely just used for resting, it had no means of entertainment at all. How far back into the dark ages are these people?

All I’m asking for is a happy medium, you know?

Well, dispite being devoid of the evidently expected home cinema and X-Box, it’s a lie that there are no entertainment facilities, his hosts have left him some reading material.

Quote :
A large roll of paper was settled on the wooden table, secured shut by a red silk ribbon. Carefully I undid the knot and opened the scroll, then very thoroughly read it's contents.

Quote :
Combatant.

*Sigh* Kombatant

Quote :
Welcome to the Mortal Kombat tournament.

Several things must be explained to you before you begin your quest to become the reigning champion.

I don’t think you get to be a ‘reigning’ champion until your first defence, right?

Quote :
1. Combatants battles shall begin at noon the day after the night of arrival, after that the battles shall be held on the stage in the main courtyard one day every week for combatants to tend to their wounds of their previous encounter.

Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t understand what that sentence just said beyond: The tournament starts tomorrow.

Quote :
Quote :
2. A combatant may challenge another to combat anywhere at anytime on the island, but only if the challenged fighter agrees to fight.

3. Every day, food shall be served all throught the morn, but will not be served again until sunset the same evening.

4. A bath house is located in the center of the combatant rest home. Hot springs will always be prepared for you to bathe.

5. If you suceed in besting any opponent it is your choice to either end their life, or simply eliminate them from the tournament. But be weary, for once they are freed from the tournament they are no longer bound by it's rules.

You stand alone now and must be ready to begin.

Good luck combatant.

After I had read the scroll I felt a little relieved and aggravated at the same time. I didn't have to kill anybody if I didn't want to, that also meant that it wasn't guaranteed that I'll be killed.

But seriously, no showers? I mean I love hot tubs but damn it.

Jeez, and I thought Johnny Cage could be a bit of a whiney bitch.

Quote :
Also if that scroll was correct, which it obviously was, then that meant the fight's began

That’s around about it for Chapter 2, so: Onwards! To Chapter 3.

Opening author’s note:

Quote :
A.N. Welcome to the six o' clock news I'm your anchor, Arthur anymoredonuts.

Lmfao, sorry just thought I'd throw that out there, anyone?…no? Nothing? Not even a titter? Tough crowd.


I... I’ve got nothing.

Seriously, I just spent half an hour trying to find a ‘not funny’ img to put here, but nothing could express my feelings right.

I... I think that opening section just gave my sense of humour cancer.

Quote :
Princess Kitana had long since returned to her chambers and now lay completely naked under the blue satin sheets of her larger than king sized bed.

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Quote :
A walk in closet sat on the other side where she kept her outfits, including her gowns, combat suits, royal clothing, and although she never told anyone, she had one of her tailors fashion her some erotic lingerie which she kept in there, even though she hadn't found a suitor yet she still wanted to make sure she could be seductive.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Quote :
The reason why Kitana lay nude now was because she really didn't like sleeping with clothing on. Ever since she was young, she liked sleeping like this.

Fap

Quote :
The second she saw him, her mind almost locked. Almost as if he was an elder godsend. He wasn't too largely built, he didn't have any monstrous features and actually…he was kinda cute.



Quote :
Kitana rolled over for what had to be the thousandth time. She just couldn't stop thinking about the events that took place this evening. Secretly during her fight, she continued to steal glances at the boy below her.

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Quote :
Never had she felt so devious and she couldn't wait for tomorrow when she would see him again.

[...]

Perhaps she could sneak away from her chambers and find him during breakfast in the morning. It would be against her fathers rules, but she had already broke one so she might as well do it again. Kitana thought as she forced her eyes shut then eventually sank into sleep.

Jesus Christ...

Quote :
Kyle's P.O.V.

Furgh

Quote :
My eyes peacefully drifted open as the warmth from the sun and the blankets over me practically bathed my body in what felt like relaxation heaven.

Take a holiday in Outworld... Take in the beautiful vistas and unwind in the relaxing sun.

Spoiler:
 

Quote :
Rising from the unbelievably comfy bed, I dropped to the floor and started doing my exercises. Sixty sit-ups, and sixty push-ups, I do this four times a day everyday not only to wake me up in the morning, but obviously to stay in shape.

I’ve run out of fapping images.

Also, does someone who actually does exercises care to comment on Scar’s routine? ‘Cos I can see that leading to a very worn-out and sore torso rather quickly. (But then I’m a wimp who can barely lift a chair, so what do I know?)

Quote :
After my workout, I quickly walked over to the satchel containing my essential items and unzipped it to retrieve my clothes. I brought five tight black T-shirts, and three pairs of black jeans. Normally I would've brought other clothing as well but I didn't think the tournament would last that long,

Usually he packs an extra 3 or 4 black t-shirts and 5 total pairs of black jeans.

Quote :
The fabric of my T-shirt clung to me as I slipped it on after my pants. The shirt really allowed my muscles to bulge out against it, showing off my biceps and my pecks.

I think I blew my load a bit too early with the fapping emoticons.

Quote :
I slipped my belt through the loops on my jeans making sure that they wouldn't fall off or come loose. Then stuck on a fresh pair of white socks, then my combat boots, making sure to tuck my jeans into those as well.

I don’t know why, but the white socks has just made me laugh right out loud. Unintentional comedy genius, this guy.

Quote :
Once I was dressed I walked over to my second satchel which contained my equipment and brought it to the wooden table that I laid my weapons and uniform out on and sat in one of the wooden chairs surrounding it.

Oh, looks like I’ve got a spare fapping emoticon I’ll get to use after all.

Quote :
The entire satchel contained two boxes of .44 magnum rounds, each containing fifty rounds, four speed loaders loaded with six rounds, (two for each magnum) and two boxes of ten gauge shotgun shells holding ten shells in each box, but the shotguns already loaded with five shells already. Same goes for my magnums with six rounds in each. So it should be enough. Also in the satchel are three cleaning kits, one was for my revolvers, another for my shotgun, and the last is for my machete and bowie knife, a medical kit for any wounds I might receive, and three more knifes. One with a curved blade, another with a serrated edge, and lastly a flip knife.

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The fic then spends the next two paragraphs describing how he cleans and maintains each weapon.

I am not fucking joking...

Finally, he goes downstairs and...

AANNNDDD!!!!


JOINS EVERYONE ELSE FOR BREAKFAST!

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Quote :
When I entered, I was pleasantly surprised to see that it wasn't as crowded as it was last night. [...] it was all gourmet breakfast foods. Sausages, bacon, eggs,

I know a full English is popular, but this is the first time I’ve heard it described as ‘gourmet’.

He wonders over to Sonya.

Quote :
"You really shouldn't wear that mask so much, you’ve got scrambled eggs and ketchup all over it.”

FUCK! Did it again!

Sorry, here’s what Sonya actually says:

Quote :
"You really shouldn't wear that mask so much, you're cuter with it off." She stated to which I think I blushed slightly.
She called me cute.

...

Quote :
3rd Person P.O.V.

Pluggh

Quote :
After bathing, [...]

And being all nakie in her bedroom... Where she only has lady servants.... Cue more fappage.

Quote :
[...]she dressed in a combat outfit that was identical to the one she wore the previous day. She liked this one because it was skin tight, allowing more maneuverability when in combat.

I think this depends very much on what the skin-tight suit is made out of, doesn’t it?

I went through a skinny jeans phase once...

...

...

When you’ve quite finished...

...

Okay, got it out? Good.

I went through a skinny jeans phase once, many years ago... and those things... did exactly fuck all for my manoeuvrability. Christ, I had to walk up stairs like a fucking geisha.

Quote :
She also believed that because of how revealing it was it would make her more attractive.

[...]

She needed to see him again, even if she was risking getting in serious trouble with her father. She just wanted to see the face that practically plagued her sleep last night.

As I said before: Kitana’s strongest, romantic personal relationship was with Liu Kang. And the two lived in different fucking realms. I got the impression he was lucky if he got a phone call every month.

Kitana arrives at the breakfast hall early, and is disappointed when her crush isn’t there.

Quote :
"He must not have arrived yet." Kitana thought deducing that he was still in his room.

[...]

So after several moments of debate with herself,

Trollface

Quote :
finally, the boy with the black scar appeared.

And Kitana practically soaks herself just looking at him.

But then...

Quote :
she noticed something that cause shock and jealousy begin to boil up in the pit of her stomach.

He sat with a blonde woman.

Her hands that were once embracing the pillar then began to claw at it viscously. Kitana was getting so angry that she barley noticed the boy take his mask off.

"Oh I don't think so." Kitana thought releasing the pillar from her death grip and storming off before she was noticed. She was going to make sure that the blonde wouldn't last long.

She was gonna personally get rid of her…

I’m pretty sure that tearing out a canon character and replacing him/her with JelousObsessive!Character is a Sue trait, so, author... Go hammer a few metal splinters under your fingernails.

Quote :
Kyle's P.O.V.

Eiragh

Shang calls the whole group to order and makes an announcement, while flanked by Jade and Kitana.

Quote :
He then spoke, "Combatants! The tournament to decide the fate of the realms begins today!" He said talking about the stupid realm crap again, "And the first match will begin with the combatant…"

And at that moment all I could think was, "Please not me, please not me, please not me!"

Our brave fucking hero.

Quote :
Sadly I didn't get my wish as he shouted out, "Black Scar!"

I let out a sigh of defeat and rolled my eyes at this, I sometimes wanna smack the person who sets all this crap up.

Well, win the damnthing and you’ll get a chance, won’t you?

Quote :
"Black Scar is an Earthrealm warrior from the country America, and he will be fighting against…"

Oh boy…

"Reptile!"

Quote :
Suddenly there was a loud hiss coming from somewhere in front of me that sounded sort of like a snake but I couldn't see where it was exactly coming from. That was until completely out of nowhere a person just appeared right on the opposite side of the stage. Quite literally just manifesting out of thin air, although calling this creature a person might be stretching the logic a little bit considering this thing looked more like a lizard than it did a human.

I have no idea what continuity the author is setting this fic in. We’ve got elements from the film, from MK2011 and from completely out of the authour’s ass. So it’ll be interesting to see what state Reptile is in.

Quote :
3rd Person P.O.V.

Curgh

FORMULAIC DESCRIPTIVE BLOCKPARAGRAPH: GO

Quote :
This creature was called Reptile, it stood at 6'1' being almost exactly as tall as Kyle himself, weighing 189 pounds, his age is unknown, and was dressed in a pair of slightly loose fitting green pants with brown wooden shin guards at the end of them, with a very small green and black cuirass covering the front portion of his upper torso that was held up with black straps that went around to the back of his neck. One shoulder guard covering his right shoulder, he also uses two more brown wooden wrist guards on his arms as armor. And covering his face is a grey mask much like the ones some of the other combatants wore except it covered his whole head with a piece of thin black fabric revealing only his eyes. His skin is a sickly greenish color with several scales protruding from him, and his hands and feet are very lizard like extending several inches longer than human hands and feet.

But his reptile like appearance isn't the only force to be reckoned with, it's his reptile like abilities. As everyone just witnessed he can camouflage himself almost entirely giving him the appearance of being invisible. And his saliva is composed of powerful corrosive fluids that can easily burn right through steel, much like acid. These traits all come from his race of Saurians, Reptile is the only one of his kind who wasn't forced into slavery and instead was trained to be a servant Shang Tsung and the emperor.

That’s his MK2011 costume., and once again chunks of that paragraph are lifted, word-for-word, from his Motal Kombat Wiki entry.

Quote :
Shang Tsung yelled out, "Fight!"

[...]

Kyle however was nearly having a panic attack. This thing looked like one of those monsters in horror movies that could kill a man in ten seconds.
Because the guy you were stood next to the other day, and the fellow Kitana cut up in the dining hall didn’t...

They only looked like this:

Spoiler:
 

The two of them battle it out, trading blows pretty much one-for-one. Then this happens:

Quote :
The creature then pulled his head back and made a sound as if he was about to hock a loogie at someone. Which to Kyle's disgust, he did just that.
A huge glob of mucus green fluid shot out of the holes in the front of the mask making it look like that things spit was projectiles.

I don’t know what the author is trying to say there... Except that maybe he’s trying to use words that he doesn’t quite understand the usage of.

So, to counteract Reptiles spit-projectile, Scar resorts to that most reliable and traditionally recognised martial arts technique:

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POPPIN’ A CAP IN HIS ASS!

Quote :
The bullet c connected with his skin on the right side of his ribcage where surely a lung would be. Reptiles spit came out as if it was blood just spurting out of his mouth from the shot.



Quote :
He then reached over and gripped his side where the bullet wound was, as Kyle got to his feet and ran over to him. Kyle at first wasn't going to use his weapons, or even kill him for that matter but now that he saw what a monster he was. He planned on doing it.

...

WRITING!

And with that we bring Chapter 3 to a close. Not so much a cliffhanger as an ‘Author is bored now’

Seriously:

Quote :
A.N. Cut this chapter off here because I wanted to get it on Fanfiction really bad.

...

Quote :
The rest of the fight will be in the next chapter and Kitana will try even harder to get to know Kyle. Plus Jade will soon get involved and it's gonna get very interesting from here on in people.

We’ll be the judge of that...

Stay tuned.
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Sat Dec 10, 2011 8:47 pm

Is it bad that this is what threw my "Benefit of the Doubt" switch to the OFF position?

Quote :
Holstered on my back is a sawn off 1887 Winchester lever action shotgun. They're really rare nowadays but my dad had managed to get his hands on one and I took it with me due to my love for lever action rifles. It's a ten gauge that holds five rounds in a tubular magazine, my personal favorite weapon.

This is an 1887 Winchester level action shotgun:

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So that's a real thing. Which proves he knows what Wikipedia is


But... He doesn't actually know about shooting guns. If he did he'd know sawing the barrel off a shotgun is for concealment, not for any kind of increased killing power. Yes you get a wider hit box, but that "advantage" is completely overshadowed by the loss of accuracy and power that comes from a shorter barrel. Sawed-off shotguns are for shooting as many people as you can at the same time from relatively close range.

And even setting aside the blasphemy of turning a classic weapon into a gangsta piece of shit, why would you even bother sawing it off in a setting where you can just walk around with it strapped to your back? For that matter, would anything this side of military grade weapons even hurt your average Outland mook, let alone one of the heavy hitters?

In short, my friend, you tried to look badass, and landed on dumbass.
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Sun Dec 11, 2011 5:52 pm

And on that note, I took a close look at Chapter 1, to see what I (or rather, the Rifftrax crew) could do with it...

MIKE NELSON: And we're back with another piece of fanfiction.
BILL CORBETT: It's a piece of something, alright.
KEVIN MURPHY: Shouldn't the insults wait until we've read at least some of it?
BILL: I'm avoiding the rush and saying it sucks now.

Quote :
The Scar

A Mortal Kombat Fanfiction

MIKE: A phrase almost as scary as "An M. Night Shyamalan film."

Quote :
A.N. Inspired by the spectacular amazingful game of Mortal Kombat, I wasn't really a true fan until my friend forced me to play Mortal Kombat Armageddon. And I like fell in love with the game,

BILL: Mikey likes it!

Quote :
so I looked into the series, found as many of the original games as I could and have been a true fan ever since.

KEVIN: [DeathBlade131313] Even though most of the games either down stand the test of time or were just plain bad, still I persevered!

Quote :
The most recent one Mortal Kombat 9, (or Mortal Kombat 2011)

MIKE: Or “Mortal Kombat: The Superman Returns-ening.”

Quote :
really was the main trigger point for this story. And I just immediately mentally inserted myself into the story

BILL: And there’s the warning sign...

Quote :
and gave myself an arsenal, and a fighters name along with my real one,

BILL: And there’s the second one.

Quote :
(yes you'll see my real name in this, if you wanna hunt me down then bring it on)

BILL: Don’t temp me, kid.

Quote :
and obviously since I'm a teenage guy, the girls Kitana, Jade, and Mileena, REALLY caught my eye…for like a full 48 minutes.

KEVIN: That’s... kinda sad, kid.

Quote :
Lol, give me a break, so I got a crush on a Edenian princess, a loyal bodyguard, and a Edenian/Tarkatan clone.

MIKE: I make fun because none of your crush objects are Sonya.

Quote :
I was thinking about putting Sonya Blade into this mix too, but I don't really like her as much as the others.

MIKE: Which makes me side with Bill in hating you immediately.
BILL: Yessss... Give in to you hate!

Quote :
I mean don't get me wrong, she's hot just I don't think she'll fit to well in this mix.

KEVIN: The dork doth protest too much.

Quote :
If I feel devious enough I might put her in but no promises. Maybe I'll put up a poll for her or something on my profile and see how you guys feel about this.

MIKE: Or maybe you could just start the story and save the “This is why it sucked” excuses for later.

Quote :
Same goes for Skarlet, only I really wanna include her in this somehow. I just need to think of a way to fit her into the plot, which I will…eventually.

BILL: You do know you’re supposed to put the padding in the middle of the fic, not the beginning, right?

Quote :
Anywhore,

KEVIN: [DeathBlade131313] HUR HUR I SED “HOR!”
MIKE: I could even see the misspellings. How do you do that?
KEVIN: Bile and practice, my friend!

Quote :
this story is rated T for right now but the rating will change later on to M obviously because there will be violence, language, and sex in this. So my self-inserted OC will be getting some action.

BILL: Translation: I know all the reasons some of you will be slamming this story. But I’m doing them anyway, so screw you!

Quote :
:DDD! Lol, but this won't be PWP (porn without plot) it will actually follow the story of Mortal Kombat, only with my OC thrown in, and putting a little romance between a few of the lovely ladies there. But when I say the story, I don't mean THE story. It will follow the story line of the arcade mode really more than the campaign.

MIKE: Isn’t the point of an arcade mode that there is no plot? It’s just “Go out there and beat down everybody?”

Quote :
Also I'm gonna try and keep this realistic, so if an X-ray move is performed by certain characters it will be a kill. Sorry if you were hoping for a lot of bone cracking goodness. There will still be X-ray moves in this story, just not in every single fight.

BILL: So you’ll be realistically portraying zoomed-in “holy crap that hurt” fanservice moves?
KEVIN: The dork doth protest WAY THE HELL too much.

Quote :
Any and all flames on this story are going to be hysterically laughed at and mocked.

MIKE: Right back at you, kid!
Quote :

So really don't even bother. And all religious and parental sticks in the mud, go bore somebody else like seriously.

KEVIN: Guys; any room on your “I don’t like this guy already” bandwagon.
MIKE: Plenty of room, Kevin! Climb on board!

Constructive criticism is welcome.

BILL: How about “If you know your story has enough flaws you need a preamble to explain them all, don’t publish the story until you’ve addressed said flaws?”

Disclaimer: I don't own Mortal Kombat or any of the characters in the game. Nor do I own Army of Two, Kick-Ass, or Albert Wesker.

BILL: That’s a joke and not a preview, right? RIGHT?

Quote :
Our main character's name is Kyle by the way, but he goes by the name Black Scar

MIKE: But once you know “Black Scar” is really “Kyle”, that just adds an extra layer of “TAKE ME SERIOUSLY, DAMMIT!” to the whole shebang.

Quote :
when he's in Mortal Kombat (sounds racist I know).

KEVIN: Nooo it doesn’t.

Quote :
Just throwing that out there to avoid confusion.

MIKE: We’re more confused with the explanation.

Quote :
He's not a Gary Stu by the way
,

ALL: Of course he's not.

Quote :
but if he ever starts to seem like it just let me know and I'll punish myself.

KEVIN: [DeathBlade131313] I’ll watch internet porn for one hour instead of three.

Quote :
I apologize if any of the characters start to seem a little OOC (out of character) I'll try to keep them as close to their personalities as possible.

MIKE: And the choir sang “What personalities?” But I kid the Juggalo-like Kombat fans out there!

Quote :
This story is also one of those that will switch from P.O.V. to P.O.V. so…yeah fun fact.

BILL: Which means multiple characters we’ll get to know and loathe intimately! Hooray!

Quote :
FIGHT!

KEVIN: Make me!
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Wed Dec 14, 2011 10:09 pm

Freezer wrote:
Also, does someone who actually does exercises care to comment on Scar’s routine? ‘Cos I can see that leading to a very worn-out and sore torso rather quickly. (But then I’m a wimp who can barely lift a chair, so what do I know?

I'm guessing he does this at different points in the day, so no, for a reasonably fit person this is hardly going to wear out their body.
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Wed Dec 14, 2011 11:09 pm

This fanfic makes me giddy. Classic, unashamed Stus/Sues are getting difficult to find these days.
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Thu Dec 15, 2011 4:49 pm

Quote :
A.N. Welcome to the six o'clock news, I'm your anchor Tadz theway uhhuhuhhuhIlikeit.

I am not making this shit up, you know.

I couldn’t make this shit up.

Quote :
Our top story tonight the federal government confirmed that the nationally famous band The Who broke into an animal hospital today, and set free all of the Doberman pinchers. The police said now they have proof that, The Who let the dogs out.

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Quote :
Lmfao, anybody? No…still nothing?.…..You people are dead inside…

We are now...

Deathblade131313 wins!

UNFUNNYALITY

Quote :
I'm just kidding I love you guys, so let's get moving.

Disclaimer: Go yank your cock through your ass you FUCKING BUTT MONGRAL! I've got the POWER GLOVE!

Sorry…

No, no! Thankyou. You’ve just given me an idea for your next punishment for your next Sue Trait. Cheers.

Welcome to Chapter 4 of The Scar. Subtitled:

Quote :
Allies and Enimies

Off we go.

Quote :
3rd Person P.O.V.

Rurgh

Quote :
Kyle dashed forward towards Reptile and swung the revolver in his hand at blinding speed so the muzzle of it basically bitch slapped the Reptilian creature.

It’s a gun. You’re doing it wrong.

Kombat continues and Jade spots that Kitana is flinching every now and them.

Quote :
"My lady…" Jade whispered to Kitana addressing her with a royalty name, "What's wrong?"

...

Kitana fobs her off, but Jade doesn’t believe her.

Quote :
Kitana however was on the edge of losing her nerve, Reptile was a decent fighter. Although he was mostly cowardly and always tried to end a fight in almost cheating ways, he was a trained killer.

I dunno where the author has gotten this from. Although reptile grew more feral and animalistic in the original timeline (fleeing occasionally when wounded or obviously outmatched) he has never been a coward. In his state in MK2011, he is, if anything, overconfident. Especially when facing a child from Earthrealm.

Quote :
This struck fear into the woman because she was afraid that she would lose her only possible chance at ever finding a suitor if Reptile won this fight.

Where the fuck is Liu Kang in this fic anyway?

Hell, as the descendant of Kung Lao, he is one of the few Earthrealm warriors the boss list of the tournament actually gives a shit about. Unlike Cage, Sonya or the others, Liu is genuinely a threat.

More fighting...

Quote :
Reptile felt like a rag doll at this moment, he never told anyone but he was not good at close range fighting, he always stayed far away from his opponents and hit them with his acid spit.

Fuck off, author.

Not good at close range fighting... He’s in the Mortal Kombat tournament!

Why-i-autta... Angry

Anyway, finally Scar gets the upper hand in the fight and...

Quote :
Shang Tsung knew that Reptile was finished and so he stood up from his throne and shouted out,

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Quote :
But Kyle already knew that there was no hope for Reptile. He wasn't going to let this monster hurt anyone else.

Long story short, Scar kneecaps the Saurian, before blowing his head off with his shotgun.

Quote :
Shang Tsung and Kyle remained locked in eye combat for a few seconds longer until Shang Tsung finally stood from his throne, raised his hands into the air, and shouted "Fatality!”

[...]

Kitana breathed a sigh of relief, he survived and showed that he was a formidable opponent in battle. She absolutely had to have him, and she would soon. She just had to get rid of the blonde woman first to be sure that she had no competition.

“Oh wow, look Jade... The nobody child from Earthrealm has proved he can kill someone. Whoop-de-shit. Do me a favour and have one of daddy’s conquered realms do a slow clap for 24-hours in appreciation.”

Is what she should say... instead we get this reaction when she spots that Scar is looking at her:

Quote :
At first she went wide eyed but then managed to remain calm. She had no idea why he was staring at her, but she quickly lost all care about that because at that moment his lips pulled into a smile. A very warm and welcome one.

She literally felt her heart flutter at this, she never received a smile from any man that didn't cause bile to rise in throat. And it was a feeling she was going to cherish for a long time.

Little did Kitana know however Jade was still standing right next to her, and she saw the gesture. She was a great distance away from Black Scar but with all the years Jade put into training she'd gained a keen eye that was able to see the eye contact shared between Kitana and the boy. Needless to say her jaw dropped so far it almost fell out of her mask.

Plus Kitana didn't react disgusted, repulsed, or anything she simply stared back and smiled behind her mask.

Jade was beyond shocked at this, Kitana never smiled at a man, she barely even smiled at her father. And that could only mean one thing, Kitana is trying to find a suitor again.

Wow...

“Trying to find a suitor again” Really?

Fuck it, let’s just move on.

Quote :
Kyle's P.O.V.

Huark

Quote :
"Hey," Stryker said as I approached him, "Are you sure that it was the best idea killing him?" He asked me.

Can we have a little consistency, please, author? At first both Stryker and Kyle have massive boners whenever they kill criminals, and then Kyle gets disturbed when Kitana kills one, and now you have Stryker, who was previously singing the praises of Scar’s vigilante murders asking whether killing an assassin-lizard is a bad idea or not.

Anyway, figuring that he’s done for the day, Scar decides to go have the rest of the day off.

Quote :
I smiled at that and we exchanged another sideways high five before I walked away. But I didn't get very far because I was stopped by two men standing out in front of me.

3rd Person P.O.V.

Iurlk

Quote :
[2xBlock paragraph descriptions: Height, Weight, Hair, Clothes]

It’s Liu Kang and Raiden

Quote :
"Why did you kill him?" Liu Kang asked him suddenly. Kyle raised his eyebrows at that as he continued, "Why couldn't you have just removed him from the tournament?"

"Dude chill." Kyle said, "In case you weren't aware, that thing was a monster. And I wasn't about to let something like tha-" He tried to plead his case but Liu Kang cut him off.

"Do you realize what you've done! Because of you Shang Tsung is one more step closer to defeating Earthrealm!"

Erm... Why? Reptile fights for Outworld. Killing reptile = less outworld warriors = advantage Earthrealm.

Quote :
But then Raiden suddenly spoke "Leave him be Liu Kang. He is merely a child of America, he doesn't understand the magnitude of what exactly is happening now."

Quite right, just let him go and you guys can get on with the rest of the fic.

Quote :
"I will let you pass, but know this do not kill any tournament combatants otherwise I will have to eliminate you from the tournament myself."

Oh, Liu... Why? Why are you bothering with this? You’re in Mortal Kombat, and I know you’ve got a thing against killing people unnecessarily, but you’ve never confronted people with it before. Just leave him be, he’s not worth it.

Quote :
"I'd like to see you try." He taunted not knowing who he was really dealing with.

This is probably the first line in this fic that I have wholeheartedly agreed with. Liu Kang is Earthrealm’s greatest warrior, and he is powerful enough to put the shits up Shao Kahn himself. That latter statement puts Kang in the running for baddest baddass in all of creation.

But... in this fic, he’s a bit of a retard, and he and Kyle cause a bit of a kerfuffle, causing Shang to wander over and split them up.

Quote :
Then they all heard Shang Tsung shout from up on the throne, "A challenge?"

"No!" Kyle shouted back then lowered his revolver and said, "Just a little stubborn boy that's all."

Ho, boy... Liu, kick his ass. You are the chosen warrior of the Order of Light, descendant of ledgendary warrior Kung Lao and Raiden’s personal 1st pick as Saviour of Earthrealm. You do not need to take shit from some jumped-up little prat.

Quote :
"You must be speaking of yourself then." Liu Kang retaliated with.

...

...

...

Seriously, Author?

Liu fucking Kang, arguably the greatest warrior in Mortal Kombat, and you have him jump back at you with, basically, this:

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Quote :
"He's immature too." Kyle shot back.

Only because this author has made him! Evidently so he can bring him down to your self-insert’s level.

There’s your sue trait for this update. Now, ahem, go yank your cock through your ass you FUCKING BUTT MONGRAL!

Well, Shang, growing bored, decides that the best way to split this all up is to call Liu away for his first match.

Kyle wanders off in search of Sonya.

Quote :
Meanwhile, Sonya walked by herself through a dark gloomy looking dungeon in search for two things. One was obviously Kano, while the other was her friend Jax who had been taken hostage some time ago.

[...]

Little did she know that from behind a pillar not too far away, Kitana was watching her as she moved along.

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...

It’s a catfight, geddit?

Quote :
But regardless [Kitana] would still have to fight her in order to kill. She had nothing against this women personally but she just couldn't lose her only chance at a man. So breathing deeply.

So, Kitana has nothing against Sonya, personally. Except that one giant jelosy-related thing she has against Sonya, personally.

Rolling Eyes

Quote :
Kyle's P.O.V.

Clurth

Quote :
I walked around the island using have of my concentration to look for Sonya and the other half to just simply take in the sights of this place. I didn't like the thought that somewhere so beautiful could hold such a violent competition. It looked so peaceful here.

Spoiler:
 

But, I’m afraid. The catfight has to wait...

Quote :
A.N. Once again the chapter was cut very short due to lack of time for writing.

Quote :
Also, because this chapter is so short, I'll let you guys in on a secret, *leans close and whispers* In the next chapter we're gonna see Kitana peeping on Kyle…

... yay...

Welp, we’re up to date with this author now. I’ll keep an eye on him and update when he does. Till then, I’m gonna dig out my old copies of the game, and remind myself exactly how it should be.
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Sat Jan 21, 2012 1:08 am

It's almost painful how transparent is the wish-fulfillment.
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Wed Feb 15, 2012 3:01 pm

Quote :
A.N. Welcome to the six o' clock news I'm your anchor Lars ofthemohicans.

Our top story tonight, Rudolf the red nose reindeer dead at 53. I know it is sad, the famous reindeer was killed when he was hit in Barcelona by a flock of seagulls and a 747. Eye witnesses report that the reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane.

*sigh*

Welcome back to Chapter 5 of The Scar.

Quote :
Lol, I'm just trying to get some laughs.



Quote :
Kyle's P.O.V.

Nyyygh

Kyle, wherever the fuck he was, falls backwards through a secret door in a cave wall.

Quote :
I sighed, "I thought you only had to go down creepy dark tunnels in the movies." I whined


Pfft.

Quote :
3rd. Person. P.O.V.

Murgglh

Quote :
Kitana drew out her sheathed fans and hurled them at Sonya,

Kitana, in defiance of the rules of Mortal Kombat, attacks Sonya from behind.

Kitana is not an assassin, and has total respect for the Elder Gods and the rules of the Tournament.

Authour, you are supposed to be a fan!

Quote :
"Shang Tsung has ordered your demise!" She was lying of course, she just knew that if she came out there and told her to stay away from her man. The fight would be very awkward.

Or she should, you know, challenge Sonya to Mortal Kombat? Rather than lying to her face and risking undoing the whole fucking tournament by breaking its rules?

A fight ensues, and Darkblade pulls shit out of his ass:

Quote :
Sonya squeezed a small device that rested in the palm of her hand to activate her wrist tazer. A high powered special ops issued self-defense weapon which delivers a massive electric shock to it's victim. It's so powerful that the electricity even appears as if it's purple.

Sonya’s energy rings are pink, and she can just fire them – Just like Johnny Cage can throw green energy. It’s just what they can do.

Sonya proceeds to kick the everloving shit out of Kitana, before:

Quote :
The large combat boot pressed down onto the princesses body painfully as Sonya pointed the handgun down at Kitana.
"Why does he want me dead?" The blonde woman asked,

TAKE A WILD FUCKING GUESS YOU NIMROD!

Jesus!

The interrogation gets broken up with the appearance of Raiden.

Quote :
"Enough Sonya!"

[...]

"I don't care, I'll take on both of you!" Sonya gambled over playing her hand slightly. She had no idea what she was dealing with.

While all that is going on, Kyle stumbles over the scene, and radios Stryker for help, before:

Quote :
He ran forward so that he wasn't so far away and drew his revolver. "Stop right there!" He shouted causing every head in the room to turn towards him.

Sonya had Raiden pinned against the wall with her fist pulled back ready to punch him, while Kitana had finally managed to jerk her fans free from the wall and readied them for combat. But she froze when she saw Kyle there with his weapon drawn.

"Kyle this isn't the best time!" Sonya shouted at him turning back towards the pinned thunder God but before she could hit him he spoke.

Ummm... It seems like a perfect time – You were about to get razor-fanned in the back, lady.

Quote :
"Shield your eyes."

"What?" Sonya asked.

To which Raiden repeated his command slower, "Shield…your eyes."

Raiden teleports the three of them out of there leaving Kitana standing around looking like an idiot.

And... That’s it...

Quote :
A.N. Chapter was cut off again because I haven't updated in like a billion years and this needed to go up.

It’s good to know you’re thinking of us, author.

Quote :
I will be more responsible when it comes to all my stories now.

So take some responsibility and FUCKING CONFORM TO THE RULES OF ENGLISH PROSE YOU FREAKING RETARD!


More as it appears.
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Sun Apr 01, 2012 8:52 pm

Riffing up Chapter 1 took way longer than I intended. But It's more or less finished. I'm gonna try out publshing it straight from Google Docs.

ETA: Since the Docs iframe doesn't seem to play well with forum code, here's the link: Google Docs
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Mon Jan 07, 2013 8:38 pm

ARISE, THREAD, ARISE!

Finally finished the full MSTing (or Rifftexting, as the case may be). You can see it for yourself here. For an appetizer, here's part of Chapter 2:

Quote :
A.N. Wanted to write this chapter really bad so I'm gonna have at it.

MIKE: And Part Two is off to a promising start.

Quote :
Getting some action as I promised in this chapter too, fighting action. I mean, not bedroom action.

BILL: [DeathBlade131313] The bedroom stuff is coming, though. Consider yourselves warned.

Quote :
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing except my OC.

KEVIN: [DeathBlade131313] And my disturbingly large collection of MK porn.

Quote :
Warning: This chapter is rated M for violence and strong language

You will learn respect!

MIKE: You will learn to respect the Power Of Love!
BILL: You will learn a new language in ten days!
KEVIN: You will learn the difference between stalagmites and stalactites!

Quote :
3rd Person P.O.V.

Several minutes had passed since Shang Tsung had announced that the tournament had begun and the intro for Mortal Kombat had been completed.

MIKE: We have now reached the character select screen.
KEVIN: Our friend Kyle, of course, went straight for Create A Character.

Quote :
Kyle and the other combatants had been lead back to the large dining area where they're luggage and a feast had been waiting for them. Various types of meat, ranging from beef, pork, chicken,

BILL : Corn... Chili peppers... *YAWN* Onions...

Quote :
fish, along with fruits of all kinds, grapes, apples, oranges, bananas, and of course veggies, broccoli, carrots, and asparagus were there cooked, and steamed to perfection. And what surprised him the most was that there were dozens of wine and cheese plates laid out on the tables spread across the medieval looking dining room.

MIKE: Note to budding fanficcers out there - never write while hungry.

Quote :
It was obvious that the tournament organizers were providing the combatants with all of this food obviously because they wanted them to stay as well nourished as they possibly could be.

KEVIN: Hence the nutritious wine.

Quote :
Protein from the meat, and vitamins from the other the fruits and vegetables.

BILL: Yes, thank you. I had no idea how nutrition worked.

Quote :
Not that Kyle was complaining, he had been long overdue for a good 'stuff your face and not feel guilty about it' meal.

MIKE: And the words “Last Meal” should be filtering through somebody’s brain right about now.

Quote :
But that's when it struck Kyle. People were sitting together at the tables, partnering up and forming alliances.

This might as well have been his freshman year in high school when trying to figure out where to sit in the cafeteria. Kyle had no idea where to sit, and it was already getting crowded, and if he didn't decide soon the choice would be made for him.

BILL: Saved By The Bell: The Outworld Years.

Quote :
But suddenly a voice called out,

KEVIN: [Deep voice] “You gonna eat yo’ cornbread?”

Quote :
"Black Scar! Over here!" Kyle looked in the direction of the voice to see a man waving at him motioning for him to come over.

MIKE: Cut and Paste from the Mortal Kombat Wiki in five... Four... Three...

Quote :
He stood at 6'1', weighing 197 pounds, and dressed in a white-blue shirt, combat boots, gun belt, black police pants, and a police S.W.A.T. cap. Along with black elbow and knee pads, and grey and black leather gloves. A police officers badge hung from around his neck to show his status as a swat police officer. His muscle build was fairly intimidating and he had a arsenal that could definitely size up Kyle's.

BILL: “Paul Blart: Mortal Kombatant.”

Quote :
Holstered on his belt are two 9mm berretta pistols, along with four fragmentation grenades, and two concussion grenades. A Taser also accompanies the weapons on his belt, with a police issue flashlight, handcuffs, and strapped to his back are two black carbon steel police batons.

KEVIN: Ladies and Gentlemen: Kurtis Stryker - the H.E.R.B.I.E. of the MK universe.

Quote :
He carries these things obviously because he is a police officer, but also because he is the captain of a special riot control division. He is officer Kurtis Stryker, and is considered a one man swat team.

MIKE: Which means “jack” and “squat” in a world full of one-man armies. But don’t let us kill your fun.

Quote :
Kyle's P.O.V.

"Sit here!" The man said waving me over a second time and I shrugged. I guess I didn't have to make the decision of where to sit anyway.

BILL: ...His natural inclination to “F’ The Police” warring with his inner schoolgirl crying out to be in with the cool kids.

Quote :
I cautiously approached still wary of the situation, because now that I was up close I could see this man was a police officer. Did he want to arrest me? I know that the police department was searching for me because I was killing criminals, and for some reason unbeknownst to me, they felt I needed to be stopped.

KEVIN: [Black Scar] I mean, Murder’s cool, right?

Quote :
You know I didn't bring crime rate down 50% in my state or anything like that�fucking idiots.

MIKE: I know it’s probably wonky formatting, but I like to think of that unknown character as the Internet itself going “Wait, what?”

Quote :
I looked down at the table and he motioned for me to sit next to him, that's when I realized that the girl from earlier was sitting on the other side. Sonya.

BILL: And all that badass swagger melts away in a burst of “DUR HUR PRETTY GIRL!”

Quote :
"So your name is�Black Scar?" She asked raising an eyebrow and biting off the end of the asparagus she was holding.

KEVIN: A reasonably mature, self-aware man would recognize the implied “Really?”

Quote :
I smiled behind my mask at the friendly smile she gave me and responded, "umm, yeah that's my costume name at least not my real one." I told her sitting down.

MIKE: Because “Black Mask Rabinowitcz” would be silly, right?

Quote :
Her head tilted slightly at that and she asked, "Well what's your real name?"

BILL: [Black Scar] Um... umm... YOU PRETTY!

Quote :
I was about to answer but then I remembered who I was sitting next to, and I looked over at him before I said, "I can't tell you that."

"Why not?" She quickly asked.

MIKE: And Black Scar stalls for time as he tries to come up with something cooler than “Because my real name is lame.”

Quote :
And I responded with, "There's a cop next to me." I said nudging the man sitting next to me.

To which he responded, "Hey listen, my name's Kurtis Stryker, but just call me Stryker. And yes I'm a police officer but I know you from back in the states." He said, and for a minute I thought I was in deep shit, but then he said, " And let me tell you, I agree with what your doing."

BILL: [Stryker] And I’m pretty sure I have no jurisdiction in West Wherethehellarewe here.

Quote :
That took me completely by surprise. I thought that just about every single cop on earth was trying to put me behind bars. But it turns out I actually have a fan.

KEVIN: Ego? What ego?
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Mon Jan 07, 2013 10:20 pm

How did I miss this beautiful find?

I nearly shed a tear, myself a 70s-era commercial about how Indian chiefs are disheartened to see their home covered in coke cans and Walmart bags, to find a lone sapling growing amid the debris

Ahhhhh
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Tue Jan 08, 2013 9:06 am

When you want to describe a character, I generally go with the basics; height, bulk, colour of hair, skin and eyes. And the barest basics on clothes. And even then that might be too muchj, depending on how you put it.

Certainly there's no need for a full fashion lowdown.It's tempting but please... much as you might like to think it so, Mortal Combat is not a Singapore fashion show.

It especially annoys me when people describe Canon characters in fanfiction. I'm here, I'm reading, I'm a fan, I THINK I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THESE CANONS LOOK LIKE DAMMIT!

Finally, the POV changes. I have a fic with those. But I don't feel this aching need to label them, "This is Batman's POV, this is Joker's POV, etc." I prefer to make it obvious in the writing itself, which is what you SHOULD do.

And if you're suddenly saying "I think this", your readers have got to be pretty fucking moronic to think it's Second or Third person.

Realistic? This is Mortal Kombat! If I wanted realistic I'd watch Street Fighter.
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Tue Jan 08, 2013 11:23 am

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:
When you want to describe a character, I generally go with the basics; height, bulk, colour of hair, skin and eyes. And the barest basics on clothes. And even then that might be too muchj, depending on how you put it.

It's not so much the datadump that's the problem... If, say, you're in the mindset of a fighter, and you're sizing up an opponent, it stands to reason that height and weight will be the first things you'd notice, and will rank highly in the things you've be able to guesstimate...

But when EVERY CHARACTER DESCRIPTION IN THE FIC runs: Height, Weight, Hair, Clothes. It gets a bit tedious...

...

That and all the descriptions are shameless copy-pastes from the Mortal Kombat Wiki...

Quote :
Finally, the POV changes. I have a fic with those. But I don't feel this aching need to label them, "This is Batman's POV, this is Joker's POV, etc." I prefer to make it obvious in the writing itself, which is what you SHOULD do.

They do exist in fiction... John Fowles "The Collector" for example. But I've NEVER seen a book, or movie that screams YOU ARE IN THIS CHARACTERS HEAD NOW!" at you whenever the perspective changes, it just boots you right out of the book... The only example I can think of that comes close to what these fanbrat "POV 1 - POV 2 - POV 1 - POV 3" bullshit I can think of is the occasional video game. But even then the shifts are handled with some form of continuity and flow...

How the hell do they think that these things are acceptable? I honestly don't get it.

...

I need to snark something new... :/
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Tue Jan 08, 2013 1:26 pm

You know what else is hilarious? One moment he's telling us he wants an honest opinion. The next, he's getting all "If you think my fic isn't any good, well, fuck you!"
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Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 48
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   Tue Jan 08, 2013 3:30 pm

Obviously, "honest opinion" in Fanbrattese translates to "tell me how awesome you think I am."
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PostSubject: Re: The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic   

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The Scar - A Mortal Kombat Badfic
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