Just like some sick pervert to ruin all that is good, this bastard happens to take The Big Bang Theory and give Sheldon a doom-cock!
How bad, you ask? Well... check out the summary for yourself...
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- Sheldon Fucks Penny HARD. Sheldon invents a pill that makes him cum gallons. LEMONS BEWARE
Oh yeah. If that isn't a warning sign, I don't know what is.
- Quote :
- When Sheldon gets fired he decides to work on a pill. For lots of cum.
This first sentence and a half is kind of hilarious in just being so straightforward bad.
But this makes you wonder. Why doesn't Sheldon make a pill to cure cancer? Or Republican stupidity? How about a drug that makes Uwe Boll not suck?
Wait, that's terminal.Sheldon clearly isn't coping well with unemployment, and Leonard, Howard and Raj are all seemingly useless, so it falls to Penny to comfort him.
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- She opened the door to Sheldon's room to reveal himself in the fetal position.
"Sweetie"?
Sheldon looked over to the door to see Penny standing there. "I am not in the mood for a speech".
She just rolled her eyes, "No Sheldon I just wanted to check on you. Everyone's worried about you and I know you want to go to work".
He looked at her with narrowed eyes, "No I don't. I just want to do some experiments on my own but I've come to a wall. A scientist block if you will and I'm stumped".
That isn't the hilariously pretentious Sheldon I know and love from Big Bang Theory. Who the hell did you get to play Sheldon, Author, Philip Haldeman?
That doesn't discourage Penny from trying to support him with lame exposition, though.
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- Penny just clutched her head, "You've made eggs and glowing fish the only thing left is a pill".
Wow author, Sheldon cooking breakfast and irradiating a fish actually sounds more entertaining than creating a pill that turns your dick into a high-powered Super Soaker.
For plot convenience, Sheldon found on Amazon a portable medicinal laboratory and began experimenting. His findings, to say the least, are kind of funny, but you can question the results for yourself...
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- Experiment 1: Pill made me feel good but had an addictive side effect. My eye sight did get better and everything moves faster.
Experiment 2: Pill tasted like strawberries and didn't have any effects until 4:04. I then started to see things that weren't there I think it's because of my brain was dreaming.
Experiment 3: I ran out of a majority of pill ingredients. I used some around the house but mostly blue diamond's I found in Leonard's room. I am feeling...
Experiment 4: I feel fantastic!
And I never felt as good as how I do right now
Except for maybe when I think of how I felt that day
When I felt the way
That I do right now, right now, right now!
And now, the porn prologue.
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- Penny was in the middle of fingering herself when rapid knocking alerted her someone was at her door. "Penny". She just growled in annoyance the whack a doodle messed up her alone time.
She answered the door looking down since her face was still red. "What do you…holy shit"! She was greeted with the sight of a very big tent in Sheldon's pants.
PFFFFFFFT
OK, I will credit the author, that last sentence was awfully funny.
But of course, Sheldon panics because he's never been turned on before (I debate that, since he works with Amy and those two obviously have the hots for each other...) and Penny schools him in having the sexings.
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- "I'm going to release the pressure trust me". He stopped struggling as she pulled down his pants followed by his dc comic underwear. His cock slapped her in the chin which made her panties flood.
She looked at his cock with amazement it was probably 10 inches, very wide and it was shaven and looked so soft. She couldn't even get a hand around it.
Sheldon groaned as her hand made contact. "Oh god Penny". She smiled liking the reaction. "Since this is your first time you can fuck me as hard as you want".
I'd put a witty remark here of Sheldon replying, but being still kind of new to the whole series, I don't know his personality fully.
And now the porn...
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- Steeling herself Penny opened her mouth as wide as she could, barely fitting the head in. She nearly dislocated her jaw getting it in, but she managed it eventually and she had to admit Sheldon's cock tasted amazing.
This is going to really come down to a "You get a drink from the firehose! Open wide!" joke, but I'll have some restraint.
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- Sheldon, meanwhile, was using all his will power to not blow his load at the sight of Penny's lips stretched so far around his dick. Just the mere sight her tits jiggling with each bob of her head was stimulating enough to make him blow with time, but the feeling of her hot wet mouth was something else entirely, and he knew he wouldn't last long.
Neither will my Constitution check. Hang on.
[Rolls D20.]
16 plus my +3 Constitution mod...yeah, I pass it. Just barely.
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- "Oh my god, that feels so good Penny. Your fellatio is amazing, but I wonder how your throat would feel... I hope you don't mind." Not even waiting for any kind of response Sheldon's hold on Penny's head strengthened as he pulled her forward while he pushed his hips forward, driving his cock partially down her throat. Caught off guard, Penny started choking on Sheldon's meat. Her eyes widening and watered as she felt her throat stretch to accommodate the girthy intruder. Penny knew she told him he could fuck her as hard as he wanted to, but did he have to shove eight inches of man-meat down her throat nearly instantly?
The Big Theory: where the porn is so stupid it defies the Laws of Physics.
This blowjob goes for a while, so I'm gonna skip to the rest of the raunchy stuff.
- Quote :
- "So Penny wants to get knocked out, huh? Who would have thought?" Sheldon ground his cock against Penny's clit, causing her to moan. "Well I aim to please so I'll knock you up sooner or later. But for right now I'll just focus on fucking you silly."
This is not the Sheldon I know anymore. This Sheldon is now a man...with a doom cock.
And with his doom-cock, he fucks Penny against a text-wall.
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- Penny found herself lifted up higher as Sheldon pressed the head of his huge cock against her soaking wet cunt. She bit her lower lip as Sheldon began to force his cock into her tight pussy; at first Penny was very skeptical he'd be able to even get the head into her that is until he thrust upwards with one quick jerk of his hips while he was pushing her down. The waitress let out a short scream as she was stretched further than she ever thought possible as his cock head punched upwards into her cunt, along with several inches of his shaft. Getting a tighter grip on Penny's hips Sheldon began to fuck his cock upwards as she starting moaning in pleasure. Lifting the blonde up until only the head of his cock remained in her Sheldon smirked in anticipation at the reaction she'd have for what was to come next.
Chapter's over, I'm done.
No, it's not. You didn't think I would walk out on a boning like this and leave you all hanging, did you? No, no, it gets a lot worse.
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- "F-f-fuck, so….so big." Penny barely gasped out as Sheldon ground his cock all the way in her pussy. Looking down at where the two neighbors where joined Penny gasped as she saw a long bulge showing through her tight skin. "That's so fucking hot; I can see your cock outlined in my stomach." She said, dazed.
See, THIS is why we need a spittake emoticon!
Fuck, not even YouTube has anything fitting.
There's another text-wall of fucking, which at this point is starting to make my eyes bleed, which I'll skip because you're all probably still reeling from the rest of this shit, so I'll end it on this.
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- Sheldon was spent and immediately hit the floor in exhaustion. His mind was becoming clearer as his body cleared the drug from his system. He looked at Penny and saw her covered in his semen. He smiled this was an unexpected outcome to his experiment but a good kind. "Penny can we do this again"?
"Only if the author hasn't driven away his audience at this point."
And it ends with Sheldon and Penny cuddling.
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- elaborated. "Most men's cum is bitter and a shot glass at most. Yours is sweet and cums in gallons".
Sheldon just sighed, "Okay I guess its fine and that's from the pill. So does this mean we are together"?
She shrugged, "If you want I was thinking about Leonard but he's been so whiny lately".
"Leonard is always moody but it mostly happens around you".
She scoffed, "He is like a child while you're too evolved for your own good". They both laughed and fell asleep in each other's arms.
End
I'm going to go throw up now, take a cold shower, and probably watch Kamen Rider OOO to erase this from my mind...
- Quote :
- Chapter 2
FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU