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Lady Anne
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PostSubject: United We Stand   Sat Sep 10, 2011 6:21 pm

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One day, a fanbrat was looking for the perfect tribute to those who died on 9/11/2001. After much thought, they decided to write...

...you guessed it...

...a Titanic fanfic.



Quote :
Her fiancée Caledon Hockley had just started an argument with her about why George Bush should not be President. Rose didn't really mind who was President; after all if people elected them, then obviously they knew how to run a country, but Cal felt differently.
Hey, fanbrat, your politics are showing.

Oh, and I am the only one going lolwut at the idea of Cal Hockley, who canonically thinks the rich are better than everyone else, being against George W. Bush as president?

Quote :
His baby blues were still staring into her soul.
Baby blues: a slang term for postpartum depression. So...a strange guy is staring at her with his postpartum depression. Romantic or creepy? You decide.

Quote :
He got up and motioned with his eyes to the restroom.
Never knowing each other's names, they fuck. End of story.

Damn. It's not the end of the story.

Quote :
"Jack. I just need to see something…"

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him passionately.
Her eyes are attached to her lips.

Quote :
Seeing the look on Jack's face, she immediately said, "Oh, I was forced in to the engagement and yeah, I hate him, so let's roll!"
Cue [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.].

Quote :
They got in to an old car to hide.

They were sweaty from all of the running.

Jack was in the front seat, Rose in the back.

"Where to Miss?" he said in a snooty voice.

"To the stars," she whispered, pulling him in to the back.

And to the stars they went…
It's twu wuv. Has to be. Why else would you fuck someone in a public place in broad daylight?

Quote :
When they got to Newark they threw themselves against the ticket counter.
Help! We need to fly out of a badfic!

Quote :
"So, Jack, why California?" asked Rose.

"Well, once we land in San Francisco, we'll get a ride down to Santa Monica, ride the rollercoaster until we throw up and drink cheap beer and ride horses in the surf," smiled Jack.
Wouldn't it be easier to get a flight to LAX, in that case? San Francisco is a long way from Santa Monica.

Quote :
Jack took out a cell phone and gave it to Rose.

"Wanna call anybody?" he asked.

She took the phone silently and punched in Cal's number, then deleted it. She did the same with her Mothers.
What a loving daughter. She's about to die and she doesn't even want to talk to her mother.

Quote :
"Rose! You have to get off! Now!" screamed Eliza. "You're going to live!"
There's a negative correlation between jumping out of a moving plane without a parachute and surviving.

Quote :
Jack looked at Rose.

He fiercely loved her; more than he'd ever loved anyone in his life.

"Rose, listen to me. I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anybody. I mean ever,"

"Jack, you're the only true love I've ever had. I don't care if I die: I had my shot at true love and I took it. I love you," she replied, kissing him fiercely and lovingly.
This would be a lot more moving if they'd known each other longer than 2 hours.

Quote :
The cockpit door flew open and the passengers burst in. (Okay, so no one knows if the passengers got in, but some people believed they did, so I'm going to put it in)
Dear author,

Put the author's note at the beginning or end of the story. Not in the middle. It pulls the reader out of the story.

Signed,
The Audience

Quote :
"AMERICA'S DARKEST DAY"

"TWIN TOWERS COLLAPSE"

"WHO DID THIS?"

"PENTAGON HIT"

"YOUNG COUPLE DIE IN EACH OTHER'S ARMS"
With all the real tragedy, am I the only one who finds this headline just slightly offensive?

Quote :
George Bush handled the situation better than most had expected.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (deep breath) HAHAHAHAHAHA...

Oh. I guess I'm not supposed to laugh at this heartfelt tribute, am I?

Quote :
Cal regretted shooting the man down; he cared about his country, a lot more than Cal did anyway.
By "shooting down", I'm assuming (hoping, anyway) that the fanbrat means "criticizing", because nobody shot W. Of course, what can a person expect from a cowardly, lily-livered liberal who can't look at himself in the mirror (mainly because he's OOC, and thus wouldn't recognize who he saw, but still...)?

Quote :
He relocated to France and died in 2005 of liver cancer; he had become more than a wine connoisseur in Paris and was not great with coping with death.
The wet dream of every Faux News fan.

Quote :
The world became safer.


Quote :
Tougher airport security rules were enforced.
Like airport employees looking at scans of passengers' naked bodies; nevertheless, people testing the system have slipped contraband past the scanners. Or...I know! We're all safer because people can't bring big bottles of lotion on board airplanes!

Quote :
Neither Jack, nor Rose had any relatives; Jack's were all dead, Rose's mother refused to believe she was dead and Cal went to Europe. So the other relatives lit a candle and said a prayer for them.
scratch Did I miss something here? Because that statement does not make sense.

Anyhow, the passengers all end up in heaven.

Quote :
"Mark, sorry to interrupt you, but could you pass me the salt please?" said Rose to Mark Bingham, a fellow passenger.

"Yep, sure Rose, no problem," he smiled. "I'd do anything for your soup,"

"Thank you John. It'll be ready soon. Oh, God," said Rose. "Jack, it's happening!"

Mark ran upstairs to get Jack.

"Jack, it's time," he said to Jack, who threw down his drawing and ran downstairs.

"Alright Rose, let's get ya comfy," he said, carrying her into the living room.

"Guys, make some room, will ya?" he asked CeeCee Lyles and Lauren Grandcolas.
Dear God, please don't let the relatives of the real victims read this. No

Quote :
They were right; in heaven, birth did not hurt…
So, who's baby died so Rose could have a painless birth in heaven?

It's entirely possible to write a good 9/11 tribute, but this ain't it.
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Chris91
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PostSubject: Re: United We Stand   Sat Sep 10, 2011 6:42 pm

Lady Anne wrote:
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One day, a fanbrat was looking for the perfect tribute to those who died on 9/11/2001. After much thought, they decided to write...

...you guessed it...

...a Titanic fanfic.



WHAT.THE.HELL. Shocked
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Rabid Badger
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PostSubject: Re: United We Stand   Sat Sep 10, 2011 7:26 pm

And not only is the one review positive, it's from another author WHO WAS PLANNING ON WRITING THE SAME THING!

Also, her theology is a bit skewed. I was not aware one could give birth in Heaven.

Edited to add: I wrote her a scathing review. Be interested in seeing how she reacts.
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Penguin
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PostSubject: Re: United We Stand   Sat Sep 10, 2011 9:27 pm

Eh, that just comes with the territory. "Well, we crammed a cheesy love story into a tragedy where over a thousand people died, so I guess we can cram the same one into a more recent one where even more died. You know, keep it fresh."

Rabid Badger wrote:
Edited to add: I wrote her a scathing review. Be interested in seeing how she reacts.

Jack and Rose were fictional people. Titanic wasn't a dramatic documentary, it was just an extremely expensive affront to history and storytelling.
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Rabid Badger
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PostSubject: Re: United We Stand   Sun Sep 11, 2011 12:34 am

Penguin wrote:
Eh, that just comes with the territory. "Well, we crammed a cheesy love story into a tragedy where over a thousand people died, so I guess we can cram the same one into a more recent one where even more died. You know, keep it fresh."

Rabid Badger wrote:
Edited to add: I wrote her a scathing review. Be interested in seeing how she reacts.

Jack and Rose were fictional people. Titanic wasn't a dramatic documentary, it was just an extremely expensive affront to history and storytelling.

Oh, I wasn't complaining about Jack and Rose. I was pointing out her profaning the memories of all the people who died in the attack, as well as those who died trying to rescue them, for the sake of a stupid 'happy ending'

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Lady Anne
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PostSubject: Re: United We Stand   Sun Sep 11, 2011 7:51 am

And...the story's disappeared. I guess the author didn't like being criticized.
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EileenK98
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PostSubject: Re: United We Stand   Sun Sep 11, 2011 11:50 am

Good riddance.
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PostSubject: Re: United We Stand   Sun Sep 11, 2011 3:10 pm

Rabid Badger wrote:
And not only is the one review positive, it's from another author WHO WAS PLANNING ON WRITING THE SAME THING!

Well, an author with the same plotbunny saying it was a shit plot would have surprised me more.
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PostSubject: Re: United We Stand   Sun Sep 11, 2011 3:49 pm

Lady Anne wrote:

Quote :
When they got to Newark they threw themselves against the ticket counter.
Quote :
"So, Jack, why California?" asked Rose.

"Well, once we land in San Francisco, we'll get a ride down to Santa Monica, ride the rollercoaster until we throw up and drink cheap beer and ride horses in the surf," smiled Jack.
Wouldn't it be easier to get a flight to LAX, in that case? San Francisco is a long way from Santa Monica.

If Jack just wanted to screw around at amusement parks (possibly literally) and surf, wouldn't Coney Island and the Jersey Shore be a hell of a lot closer?

And the badly-shoehorned "Yay, Dubya!" stuff was just... jarring.
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Rabid Badger
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PostSubject: Re: United We Stand   Sun Sep 11, 2011 7:55 pm

Lady Anne wrote:
And...the story's disappeared. I guess the author didn't like being criticized.

Yeah, I got a passive-aggressive note from her this morning:

udpate: so i had a short story about 9/11. That wasn't meant to offend anyone. I know Jack and Rose are fictional and to suggest I'm using 9/11 just as a backdrop to a story? i think thats offensive. 9/11 was a tragic event that only happened 10 years ago. It wasn't the most well written story ever, it was a bit rushed, but i thought since its the 10th anniversary of 9/11... basically the point was to show no matter how short your time is, how hopeless or whatever disaster you're in, true love will shine through & my opinion is that the victims all those years ago really tried to help each other. Not like "can you lend me sugar?" but "you go, i'll be out in a sec". So yeah, after a few offensive comments i decided to take it down. Thank you to anyone who liked it & people who didn't, I respect your opinions. This has made me question whether I want to do fan fics anymore, but I decided, since a lot of people want Our Life We Changed updated, I will. In short: United We Stand was supposed to show people united and not meant to offend. RIP 9/11 victims & God bless

I'm trying t give her the benefit of the doubt, since she's British and, I suspect, fairly young.

She's already started writing another one involving Jack and Rose, but at least it doesn't involve 9/11. It does, however, involve them going from being on the Titanic to being on the Carpathia.

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PostSubject: Re: United We Stand   Tue Sep 13, 2011 1:56 am

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Rabid Badger
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PostSubject: Re: United We Stand   Tue Sep 13, 2011 8:01 pm

KJM wrote:
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Dear God. Eight pages, covering fandoms as diverse as Sonic the Hedgehog, the original Torchwood, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Hetalia. Crying or Very sad

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PostSubject: Re: United We Stand   Tue Sep 13, 2011 8:04 pm

Which only proves the road to HERP DERP is paved with good intentions.
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Owlish
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PostSubject: Re: United We Stand   Tue Sep 13, 2011 10:41 pm

KJM wrote:
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...At least most of them seem to be tribute fics? I am willing to bet money that about 20 years from now most authors won't bother with the pretense of a tribute, and will just use the event as a pseudo-historical backdrop for their insufferable characters to feel *traumatized* because a bunch of people died and it was dark and edgy and shit
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PostSubject: Re: United We Stand   Wed Sep 14, 2011 1:51 pm

Rabid Badger wrote:
KJM wrote:
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Dear God. Eight pages, covering fandoms as diverse as Sonic the Hedgehog, the original Torchwood, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Hetalia. Crying or Very sad


Well, Hetalia at least makes a remote amount of sense, seeing as the cast consists of personified nations and all. Sonic the Hedgehog, though? Does that series even take place on our planet? How in the hell would you spin a 9-11 "tribute" fic out of that?

However, even in the fandoms were tribute fics would make a remote amount of sense, 99.998% of those "tribute" fanfics (as Owlish said so aptly) probably only use 9-11 as a device for either angst, hurt-comfort, or romantic drama. Odds are you could remove all of the Twin Towers attack references from those fanfics altogether and replace them with, I don't know, a story about space aliens shaped like exotic cheeses invading earth stealing all our microbes for fermentation purposes or something, and the gist of the fics would remain the same.

The non tl;dr point of my rant? Don't use horrific events in general in your fanfic or original story (this applies to rape, torture, murder, miscarriages, terrorist attacks, etc.) unless you actually want to put in the effort to make the event meaningful and not just a convoluted plot device to catalyze "teh dramas". Otherwise you're just cheapening the experiences and pain of all those in real life who have experienced and/or lived through such nightmares. It's just plain tacky and insensitive.
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PostSubject: Re: United We Stand   Wed Sep 14, 2011 2:05 pm

Hadiya Tannous wrote:
Sonic the Hedgehog, though? Does that series even take place on our planet?

Literally depends on which continuity you use.
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PostSubject: Re: United We Stand   Wed Sep 14, 2011 3:59 pm

Owlish wrote:
I am willing to bet money that about 20 years from now most authors won't bother with the pretense of a tribute, and will just use the event as a pseudo-historical backdrop for their insufferable characters to feel *traumatized* because a bunch of people died and it was dark and edgy and shit

There are fangirls woobifying Hitler and the Nazis now, so, yeah, I think you're right. The Pit of 2031 will feature the stories you mention and lots of stories where Osama Bin Laden is a misunderstood woobie who just needs the love of a good Mary Sue--or lots of buttsex from George W. Bush, Pyramid Head, Megatron, and/or Son Goku--to make him a repentant, Jesus-fearing Good Christian.

Actually, it wouldn't surprise me anymore if I looked in the wrong corner of the internet and found those stories already existed.
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PostSubject: Re: United We Stand   Thu Sep 15, 2011 7:12 pm

Hadiya Tannous wrote:
Odds are you could remove all of the Twin Towers attack references from those fanfics altogether and replace them with, I don't know, a story about space aliens shaped like exotic cheeses invading earth stealing all our microbes for fermentation purposes or something, and the gist of the fics would remain the same.

Hm, I actually want to try that now....it'd be interesting to see how much context actually matters in one of these stories, and which parts you could literally do find-and-replace with cheese aliens.
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Lady Anne
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PostSubject: Re: United We Stand   Thu Sep 15, 2011 8:54 pm

Owlish wrote:
Hadiya Tannous wrote:
Odds are you could remove all of the Twin Towers attack references from those fanfics altogether and replace them with, I don't know, a story about space aliens shaped like exotic cheeses invading earth stealing all our microbes for fermentation purposes or something, and the gist of the fics would remain the same.

Hm, I actually want to try that now....it'd be interesting to see how much context actually matters in one of these stories, and which parts you could literally do find-and-replace with cheese aliens.
I'd read it, if only for the lolz.
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Hadiya Tannous

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PostSubject: Re: United We Stand   Thu Sep 15, 2011 10:03 pm

Lady Anne wrote:
Owlish wrote:
Hadiya Tannous wrote:
Odds are you could remove all of the Twin Towers attack references from those fanfics altogether and replace them with, I don't know, a story about space aliens shaped like exotic cheeses invading earth stealing all our microbes for fermentation purposes or something, and the gist of the fics would remain the same.

Hm, I actually want to try that now....it'd be interesting to see how much context actually matters in one of these stories, and which parts you could literally do find-and-replace with cheese aliens.
I'd read it, if only for the lolz.

Same here. Whoever wrote such a story would be rolling in internetz dollars from yours truly. ::is too poor to pay real money. Le sigh.::
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PostSubject: Re: United We Stand   Thu Sep 22, 2011 10:49 am

There's also this.

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