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 Let's hypnotize people with the power of song!

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Happenstance
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PostSubject: Let's hypnotize people with the power of song!   Mon Aug 08, 2011 2:18 am

Groan. Oh X-Men fandom, why are you such a magnet for bad things? Here we have another Sue in the wake of First Class. And I just don't even with this one, guys. Sigh.
Sorry, I'm gonna have to let you down right now: There are no Jigglypuff in this fic.

Let's just dive right into [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.].

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I don't own X-men I own Lyra
Oh good, Lyra. Like from my [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]. Well, that's distracting.

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and Kenneth the character. Lyra and ken's pics will be posted on my profile If I got Erik wrong I'm sorry first fanfic of him so please be patient any tips will be most appreciated. I'm going to try really hard on Erik's character warn me if I OVERBOARD. His pov won't really be there much it will be mostly Lyra only Erik in this chap. Also the song is bound to you by christina aguilara i don' own that either
This seems…promising.

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1.
I was 13
Always beautiful days when bad things seem to happen.
Always bad grammar when bad things seem to read.

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I look back now and see how young I was when I was forced into a life of pain. I was 13 when first met him,
Um…what is this story about again?

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I was on the couch watching TV in our home in Louisiana. There was a knock, at the door my father got up to get it. I loved my father so much, He was a tall man that was 6'0 wide shoulders,dark skin, and his beard had tiny streaks of gray. I wished that I could have gotten his height back as it seemed I might be short like my mother was when she was alive.
Dead parent, good relationship with living one. Anyone see where this is going?

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He was getting old , I giggled at the thought
Yeah, it’s hilarious that he’s getting closer to death!

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as he proceded to the door I watched his face turn from calm to inrage.
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE," Dad practically yelled his tall frame blocked my view of the door.
“YOU MOTHERFUKERS!”

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"Is that anyway to greet an old friend, Ronald," a voice said. I shivered that voice was so cold and evil, the voice of a monster that would haunt you in your dreams. Suddenly, heard a strangled cry of pain as a man appeared in front of my dad, I screamed at the sight he looked like the devil, black hair, red skin and a tail had cut my dad in the chest he fell to the ground clutching his chest. He eyes found mine, and whispered "run" I was frozen in place I couldn't move. My deep brown eyes danced between my dad on the ground and the people in front of him. One was a blonde woman wearing a white dress, a latin man with long brown hair in a suit, and another man with blonde hair and cold, empty unfeeling blue eyes.
Prepare for trouble!

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"Lyra, I presume wow its been a long time haven't seen you since you were a toddler," the man said with a slight smile. I knew it was fake his very presence screamed evil, I looked down at my father who was still on the ground.
"RUN LYRA," he screamed
Well damn, he must be really dedicated, what with his chest wound and all.

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and he was met with a knife in his chest. I screamed in terror and ran as fast as my feet could carry me, I dashed out the back door and across the yard and into the woods. I cursed myself for going into the woods of all places not to mention bare footed, but I continued to run. I collaspe to the ground, my lungs burned, as I gasp for air, and I prayed to God that I had lost those people. I was wrong, in a puff of red smoke they appeared before me, I screamed in shock and tried to crawl away then I heard a voice in my head.
Don't run you have no where to go, even if you got away we would find you, a female voice said in my head.
My eyes widened, "H-how y-you were in my head," I stared in shock at the blonde woman.
Because Emma is a creepy bitch. Duh.

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"Emma can do alot of things,but you my dear well a whole nother story, oh how rude of me to forget my manners I'm Sebastian," the blonde man said with a wicked grin.
Shaw, instead of being an interesting villain, has been replaced with the stereotypically evil douchebag villain.

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What the hell were these people talking about. I glared at all of them especially the devil looking man, "You killed my father you son of a bitch," I said picking up a large piece of wood and preparing to through it at him.
“Prepare to die!”

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Suddenly, I couldn't move I had no control of my body as I dropped the piece of wood I stared in shock at them.
"Another thing I can do," Emma said with a sickly smile.
"What do you want from me if its money we don't have alot," I cried.


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"My dear your very powerful and we want you to join us," Sebastian said his lips curling up in a smile that was suppose to be warming but just came off as fake.
She doesn’t seem very powerful. You overtook her very easily.

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I needed to be strong, I slowly stood up,"You will leave me and my family alone our you'll regret it,"I said feeling the power in my words. Just turn around and leave. Suddenly all their faces went blank except for Emma like they were in a trance, "We should leave Shaw," the demon said to Shaw. Shaw slowly nodded and they turned to leave until I saw Emma stare at them. Shaw turned to me wonder and exictement in his eyes it really creeped me out.
Seeing wonder and excitement in Kevin Bacon’s eyes would creep anyone out.

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"My God she's more powerful then I thought, Azazel," Shaw said nodding at the demon. In a puff a red smoke he appeared in front of me knocked me out with a sharp punch.
I was 15
2 years I endured torture of the worst kind he said it would make my powers stronger. Apparently, I could control peoples actions and bodies with my voice and it was even stronger when I would sing and make force fields and whenever I could use my powers my eyes would change from deep brown to a bright silver.
Witness the UBER POWERS OF THE MARY-SUE.
So she’s like Dazzler mixed with Jean Grey and has super-speshul eyes. Oh the joy.

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Some days he wouldn't test on me, he'd leave me alone. Some days all those things they injected me with would leave me numb and I wouldn't be able to move, others would make me feel as if my body was set on fire, and then it would feel as if some on put me in a pool of ice. I was 15 when I met Kenneth, he was a handsome guy , tall, black hair, beautiful blue eyes he had the power of telekinesis it ranged from objects tothe human bodies. I thought he was nice I was sorely mistaken, I made the decision that whenever I could I would try to escape, well I wouldn't make it very far.
So many things just happened, and yet nothing really happened at all. That’s the interesting thing about badfics; they seem to be great models for a how a black hole works.

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The punishment was even worse, they strap me down, tape my mouth, attack these things to all parts of my body and electrocute me for hours my screams of pain were muffled by the tape.
Why would they do that? Sure, Shaw’s sadistic, but not really in that way. He’s not Jigsaw, for fuck’s sake.

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"You think you can escape me, how pathetic, where would you go they won't except you. You belong to me, I won't let you get away not like Erik did," he would tell me when I would escape. I soon got scars on my wrists from pulling at the restraints trying to get out that death machine.
All at the hands of...him, I loathed him hated him with a deep burning passion. Shaw.. Sebastian Shaw the man that caused me so much pain he would pay for killing my father.
Present Day Hellfire Club
I sat down and looked at my reflection. My black hair had grown longer, eyes a dark brown had lost its spark, high cheekbones, full lips, carmel skin tone. I didn't even reconigze myself, I had lost myself, my personality had changed dramatically getting stuck with a man like Shaw does that. I wasn't the happy, loud, full of smiles Lyra Sandchester I was when I was 13, I was empty, quite, a frown stuck on my face.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

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"Ah my Lyra are you ready for your preformance and I must emend you for last week you are a wonderful singer and for helping Shaw speak with Col. Hendry," Kenneth said placing a hand on my shoulder I quickly shoved him off. Shaw had wanted me to focus on him last week to help move missles in Turkey, I felt a deep feeling of guilt in the end Hendry was killed.
So her power is that she can use the force? With the “these are not the droids you’re looking for” and that?

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"I'd be careful if I were you Ken," I said my voice cold as I flufling my hair a bit. I got up and walked over to the clothes rack as several woman walked by in lingere. My my must all men be complete and total pervs,
Or maybe the women just like dressing up in lingerie? Or maybe you’re in a strip club?

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"Where is my dress,"I said searching through the clothes and turned to see Kenneth sitting on a velvet couch next to a large box. My heart beat quickened,
From love or hate? I thought we were supposed to dislike this guy?

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"Green is beautiful but I think yellow is more of your color," he said getting up and handing me the box.
I opened it revialing a beautiful yellow gown, "I think a "thank you Kenneth" should be comming up," he said with a smug smirk. "Get out of here Kenneth," I said feeling the powerin my words, he got up and left as I got into the dress. I dropped down on the couch feeling my eyes water, no I will not cry, I hated myself everytime I was by him or Shaw my heart would pound, I began to sweat in fear of another experiment or another beating. I would not cry again, I pulled on my gloves covering my scars left from the needles.
Wait, she can hypnotise people with her words. Why not just tell all the members of the Hellfire Club (Emma included) that she’s not that powerful and that they should let her go?

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"Lyra your on," one of he girls said, I gave her a fake smile and retouched my make up. I made my way onto the stage, I got so many cat calls and whistles
BECAUSE SHE IS A BEAUTIFUL FLOWER. A FIFTEEN YEAR-OLD FLOWER.
In her bright yellow gown, in the 60’s.

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all I wanted to do was hit every one of tempo to the music began just as two men walked in one was short handsome man with brown hair and warming blue eyes, the other was tall with short brown hair and piercing ice blue eyes that made him even more beautiful.
The OTP has arrived! Stop everything.
And now we’re treated to a wonderful copypasta of a Christina Aguilera song. It’s ~*~heartbreaking~*~ and ~*~beautiful~*~ and of course ~*~very symbolic~*~
And then this happens.

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I didn't even notice I was crying all the memories were flooding back I felt a presence in the back of my head ...a telepath. I force the presence away until I couldn't feel it.
Yes, because you feel a telepath in your head and just casually shove it out. Not, y’know wonder who it might be.

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I looked at the crowd noticed that everyone had stopped moving and were listening to me.
I guess she was so bad that nobody was before.

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I was overwhelmed the power in my voice had grown making every freeze, I notice the two men staring atme with wide eyes the small man face held great pity while the other looked at me as if he somehow knew which was impossible. His hard face softened as the smaller man whispered something to him, his face of stone turned to anger.
Wait, so her mutation affects the Hellfire Club, but not Charles and Erik? Why the hell not?
So she finishes her song, and goes backstage to start…crying?

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Towards the end I hurried off stage as applause filled my ears I ran picking up the hem of my dress. I slammed the door of the bathroom locking it as I sob into hands, why why had all those memories come back I had kept them locked up. Damn I hate crying it was so weak!
“Emotions are for ethnic people!”
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I heard a loud pound on the door and lock click out of place I knew who it was. Suddenly, my body was dragged out I looked up to see a furious Kenneth.
"What the fuck did you think you were doing you could have exposed us," he yelled as he slapped me in the face. I fought against him but he won in size, "I didn't mean to it was an accident," I explained.
Wait, wasn’t the goal of this to control the audience in some way? If it wasn’t, why was she performing at all? Clearly she doesn’t like doing it and if the Hellfire Club doesn’t get any profit from it, what’s the point?

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He wasn't buying it, "You stupid bitch," he spat in my face he pulled me out the bathroom and downstairs I knew where he was taking me, "NO NO KEN NO LET ME GO," I pleaded trying to use my power.
No does mean no, Ken.

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"YOUR TRICKS DON'T WORK ON ME ANYMORE," he said pulling me into that god forsaken room. It was all white on the walls hanged several torture items, Shaw came bursting into the room.
So the theatre is built on top of Shaw’s torture chamber? That’s…awkward.

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"Lyra Lyra you know better than to pull a stunt like that," he said calmly I expected him to be mad that fact that he was so calm just made my heart sink at what he had planned.
"Kenneth do what you will," He said pointing at me leaving.
Is he leaving now? Why? What’s going on?

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I tried to fight back kicking him with my heels, soon I was strapped down to the table. And so began the pain, he picked up a needle with a strange purple liquid . "Shall we begin," he said flicking the needle.
Erik POV:
"Where is Shaw," I asked Charles as we headed backstage.
Charles sighed, "I can't find him somethings blocking me probably Emma," he said. Charles screamed out in pain clutching his head, I wasn't sure what to do.
Stand there awkwardly and look at him?
Because that’s what he chooses.

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"Charles what is it," I asked looking at my friend bent over in pain.
"It's her we have to hurry," he said running down the hallway.
“The Sue! If we don’t get there in time, we might not be able to convince Shaw to kill her!”

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The mutant was a woman had carmel skin, long black hair, and deep brown eyes but as she was singing her eyes changed from brown to bright silver and suddenly I had no control of body I couldn't move I just listened.
Which was a shame, because all I wanted was to run from the theatre screaming.

…I guess you could say she had a captive audience! Yeah

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Anyone would be a fool to not think was beautiful especially in that dress,

Oh, here we go. Keep in mind, this girl is supposed to be 15. Erik is...definitely older than that.

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but I was curious it was when she began to cry her eyes changed. Charles had entered her mind and touch my shoulder tons of images had flashed through my mind of herwhen she was young. She was like me I felt a greet swell of anger at Shaw for doing this to a girl.
Sexist much, OOC Erik?

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We went downstairs into the club, as we went deeper we heard a loud terrifing scream. Charles dropped to the floor screaming, "She's in so much pain Erik
Uh, no shit, Sherlock. And if you’re not doing anything to calm her down, why not just get out of her head? That way you won’t feel her pain and—
Oh yeah. It’s because the author needs to plagiarize from the movie.

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we need to hurry or she'l-,"he was intrupted with another terrifying scream from down the hall. My anger got the better of me and left Charles there following the sound of her screams.
Great friend you are, OOC Erik, leaving your best friend on the floor in pain to go help a girl you’ve never met.

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Back to Lyra pov:
Blood trickled down my arm staining my dress, I could feel the liquid in my viens burning it was so painful flashes of white blocked my vision. Pain flashed through memy body jerked upward , tears flooded down my cheeks.
"KENNETH PLEASE STOP," I screamed, but he didn't stop he cut me on my neck not deep enough to kill me.
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I wanted to die like I always wanted to die when they would do this to me . I could feel conciousness slipping out of my grasp and I heard footsteps and Ken cursing under his breath. I turned to look up to see the metal door be completely crush and tossed tothe side revieling the man with piercing blue eyes filled with anger and hatred. They voices got farther away as they fought each other, I felt bad he couldn't win not against Ken he was too strong.
Yeah, Magneto has no fucking chance against Ken, the…telekinetic? I guess?

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Then I heard a voice in my head I expected it to Emma but it was a voice of a man.
Lyra don't be afraid My name is Charles Xavier I'm like you and so is Erik please don't be afraid were here to help you
You lie no one can help me leave me here I don't want anyone else to get hurt he'll hurt you
No Shaw is gone he escaped where here to save you everything will be fine
No no it won't
Lolwut? Why would Shaw run away? He’s kind of egotistical and he likes fighting Erik, so why wouldn’t he stay and try to kick his ass? And if that didn’t work, he’d have plenty of stalemate situations he could impose…

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I heard a rip, I looked up to see the man I assumed to be Erik. I wonder if he's the Erik Shaw talked about, he wrapped up my arm and neck. "You need to leave," I choked out. "And what leave you here," Erik said,
Yes. She told you to.

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I felt myself slipping my eyes slowly closed. "Hey hey no dieing on me you already bleeding on me," he shout shaking me so I would stay up. "He'll hurt you Erik he's upset about losing you," I whispered he face turned hard and he picked me. I groaned in pain, anytime I would move it would hurt because of that stuff. We entered the hallway and I saw the man he was with during the show he must be Charles.
"We have to get her out of here and to the facility," Charles said.
"No SHIT," Erik cursed
Yeah, shut the fuck up Charles, it’s not like you ever have anything of value to say.

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as we got out of the Hellfire club Charles drove while I layed down on the seat next to Erik. As the ride began, millions of thoughts ran through my head why why were they helping me. I had done terrible things at the orders of Shaw why would they want to help me.
Y’know, I have absolutely no freakin’ idea. Erik doesn’t really discriminate when it comes to hurting people affiliated with Shaw.

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What was Erik's connection to Shaw how did he manage to escape him. My arm began to feel warm oh no not again, I screamed my whole body jerking off the seat. I felt two strong hands hold me down, I jerked voilently my arm felt as if it were on fire.
Well shit, she gets two cuts (which she described as comparatively shallow) and suddenly she’s having a seizure?

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"Charles," Erik growled.
"Hold her down were not far from the facility," he replied. I felt the car speed up,white flashed before me, I struggled against his hold damn he was strong. Fear rushed through me, I didn't like being pinned down brought back to many memories.
…Nope. I won’t make a joke. Not me.

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"GET OFF ME," I shrieked I trieed to use my power but I was weak and too tired to make it work.
That seems to happen to you a lot. Why does Shaw think you’re so powerful again?

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White flashed again before darkness consumed me, I just wanted to pain to stop.
So do I, dear. So do I.

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How did I do first time for uh Erik I just love Michael Fassbender he's so sexy and uh I hope I did okay on his character I'm gonna have to step it up cuz its Erik oh heres the dress Lyra was wearing will be posted on my profile along with her pic. oKAY I'm making this present day so cell phones and ipods exist
Because…um…yeah, I don’t fucking know.
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Trioculus
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PostSubject: Re: Let's hypnotize people with the power of song!   Mon Aug 08, 2011 3:48 pm

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Groan. Oh X-Men fandom, why are you such a magnet for bad things?

Many in-canon examples of characters with twagic pasts. They don't have to think of power origins ("Hey, I was born super speshul. It's not my fault!") and, of course, the recurrent theme of racism in canon means "My parents didn't abuse me just because they were jealous of my flame red hair and emerald orbs, they abused me because they're anti-mutant racists!"

It's like the Easy Bake Oven for fanbrat self-inserts.

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And now we’re treated to a wonderful copypasta of a Christina Aguilera song. It’s ~*~heartbreaking~*~ and ~*~beautiful~*~ and of course ~*~very symbolic~*~

And of course completely anachronistic for a story that would apparently be set in the 1960's. But when does that ever stop fanbrats? "What u say ther wer no cel fones on teh Titanic?! U R MEEEN!!!"

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ow did I do first time for uh Erik I just love Michael Fassbender he's so sexy and uh

Well, at least she's honest about the real reason she's writing this.

Rolling Eyes
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Happenstance
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PostSubject: Re: Let's hypnotize people with the power of song!   Mon Aug 08, 2011 4:17 pm

Trioculus wrote:
Quote :
Groan. Oh X-Men fandom, why are you such a magnet for bad things?

Many in-canon examples of characters with twagic pasts. They don't have to think of power origins ("Hey, I was born super speshul. It's not my fault!") and, of course, the recurrent theme of racism in canon means "My parents didn't abuse me just because they were jealous of my flame red hair and emerald orbs, they abused me because they're anti-mutant racists!"

It's like the Easy Bake Oven for fanbrat self-inserts.

Oh, I know! And in about 90% of X-Men Sue fics I've read, everyone who finds out about the Sue's powers instantly becomes anti-mutant, even if they weren't before, and don't really have any reason to be. As if the whole "superpower grab-bag" thing wasn't bad enough...D:
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PostSubject: Re: Let's hypnotize people with the power of song!   Tue Aug 09, 2011 10:12 am

Happenstance wrote:
Oh, I know! And in about 90% of X-Men Sue fics I've read, everyone who finds out about the Sue's powers instantly becomes anti-mutant, even if they weren't before, and don't really have any reason to be.
Urrrgh, this happens in fucking canon and I hate it >.<
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PostSubject: Re: Let's hypnotize people with the power of song!   Tue Aug 09, 2011 8:08 pm

Reepicheep-chan wrote:
Happenstance wrote:
Oh, I know! And in about 90% of X-Men Sue fics I've read, everyone who finds out about the Sue's powers instantly becomes anti-mutant, even if they weren't before, and don't really have any reason to be.
Urrrgh, this happens in fucking canon and I hate it >.<
Then again, the general public in the Marvel 616 universe has repeatedly demonstrated to be tremendoulsy dumb.
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PostSubject: Re: Let's hypnotize people with the power of song!   Tue Aug 09, 2011 10:24 pm

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:
Reepicheep-chan wrote:
Happenstance wrote:
Oh, I know! And in about 90% of X-Men Sue fics I've read, everyone who finds out about the Sue's powers instantly becomes anti-mutant, even if they weren't before, and don't really have any reason to be.
Urrrgh, this happens in fucking canon and I hate it >.<
Then again, the general public in the Marvel 616 universe has repeatedly demonstrated to be tremendoulsy dumb.
And tremendously gullible.
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PostSubject: Re: Let's hypnotize people with the power of song!   Tue Aug 09, 2011 11:38 pm

So, maybe I'm dense, but what exactly is this girl's power, now? scratch


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Apparently, I could control peoples actions and bodies with my voice and it was even stronger when I would sing and make force fields

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"KENNETH PLEASE STOP," I screamed, but he didn't stop


This has got to be the most useless Sue ever. Honestly, what's the point of giving your character the power to control everything and everyone, when it never works? I don't get it, is it just a poorly thought out excuse for the character to get dropped into the canon somewhere? Or is there something attractive about a character who can do everything but doesn't need to because everyone else saves her?
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PostSubject: Re: Let's hypnotize people with the power of song!   Thu Aug 11, 2011 4:20 am

Why, her power is to be a stereotypical love interest for a pod person who looks like the ever so awesome Michael Fassbender! Isn't that perfectly obvious?

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