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 Card games in Azeroth

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TheIan
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
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Join date : 2009-06-12
Location : Dining car on the Train of Time, DenLiner

PostSubject: Card games in Azeroth   Wed Aug 03, 2011 1:12 pm

What a treat I have! Wouldn't you know it, of all the possible Warcraft crossovers out there, Yu-Gi-Oh and Warcraft mesh just about as well as that Naruto/Warcraft atrocity.

Card Games on Azeroth is set, if you couldn't guess already, in Azeroth. And instead of the Alliance constantly struggling against the Horde and other such calamities, all conflicts are settled ON A CHILDREN'S CARD GAME.

This would be great, if it was written well. Unfortunately for us, we don't get that kind of luxury. In fact, we're given a story that basically plays out like an episode from Yu-Gi-Oh only it's set on Azeroth and not dubbed in a shitty 4Kids manner.

So! Set your spells to your hot bar and Summon your strongest Monsters, we're going right into the prologue!

We first start with an author's note that obviously gives us a flimsy excuse as to why it starts out as it does...
Quote :
Hello i'm fossilize and this my first piece of fanfiction so try not to be to harsh please.

I have written a prolouge because honestly the way this story is going to go it would be strange is everyone suddenly had a duel disk for no reason.

Now originally there were meant to be three stars in place of the '1 day earlier' and 'Back to the present' but unfortunately was not recognizing stars so you no I had to improvise.

Oh and finally There will be duels in some chapters thinking some sort of 50/50 split.

Disclaimer: I do not yu-gi-oh and world of warcraft and I do not claim any rights to it.
Classy, author. You could have, I dunno, revised the story?

So it starts in the middle of a desert.
Quote :
Long brown hair hung down from his head and over his as back he made is way into the room.
Broken sentence is coherent and as makes perfect lots of sense.

Quote :
He wore dark brown leather armour that covered him from his shoulders to his toe.
Just the one toe, though, the rest of his feet were completely unprotected!

Quote :
1 day earlier
You couldn't put the entire first paragraph in chronologically, author? It would help us understand what's going on.

Well, a day earlier, the dwarf in question, Buraden Steelfist (Fairly certain there's an NPC already with that name... I'll have to WowHead it sometime...) is wandering the desert.
Quote :
Buraden Steelfist was travelling around Tanaris attempting for days to find a settlement. Any settlement.
Ya could have stopped in Gadgetzan! Save you loads of trouble! Has a Flight-Point and everything.

Actually, the reason Buraden is lost in Tanaris is because he was separated from his expedition. Kind of the reason why we have the Buddy System at all.

Quote :
but sand was all his dwarven eye could see.
His Gnome eye was useless and he dropped his Tauren eye on the trip from Theramore.

Quote :
"If I don't find a settlement soon this sun will bake me like I'm piece of pork" Buraden said with tiredness evident in his voice.
Poor Dwarf. If only there was some kind of item, if you use it will teleport you to a point where you claim residence, a stone small enough to set on a hearth; a hearthstone, as it were...

But oh well, the poor bastard loses consciousness.

Quote :
He noticed a blurry figure making its way towards him. Was it hostile? If it was they weren't going to kill this dwarf without a fight.

But as the figured neared the image clarified and it was in fact a human which put part of his mind at ease but he was still on edge.
I will credit the author for one thing, the characters aren't completely Mikey-stupid.

Quote :
The human then spoke to him "my name is John Miner" his voice was calm "I found you in the middle of the desert" the man stated. "Are you an explorer of some sort? He asked. "Aye lad I am" Buraden replied.

"Good" John said content with the answer "what is your name?" he asked "Buraden Steelfist and don't you forget it" the dwarf answered.
Just like a burly dwarf to keep up the tough-guy act.

So the following morning, Buraden and John head out for AAADVENTUUUUURRRE!

Quote :
"So then do you what's in temple thing a ma bob" he curiously asked.
Just like a dwarf to be drunk before breakfast.

Quote :
The temple was clearly ancient with signs symbols scripted on the outer walls that neither of them had ever seen before. It was the same colour as clay and different signs of wear and tear could be seen all over it.

They were then faced with a huge door that was about three times the size of an average tauren.

Then the door suddenly opened on its own almost as if it was inviting them in which left John and Buraden in shock.
Well isn't that just conveenient

Quote :
They slowly stepped through the the doorway and into a large room filled with many symbols. There was a pentagon shaped table in the middle. Then suddenly a bright light of unknown origins cascaded into the room forcing both John and Buraden to shut their eyes.

Back to the present
And of course we're back where we started, which kind of begs the question what the whole point of that opening paragraph was. I actually kind of hate it when a writer decides to put us in the middle of the action instead of build up to it. It's cliché, jarring and stupid.

So, what to the two find? Ancient artifacts adventurers in years to come will covet and fight tooth and nail for in Raids? Secrets to the perfect souffle? A task to collect buzzard asses for a shiny useless trinket? Guarded ancient wisdom to bring peace to the world? Mel Gibson's dignity?

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On the previously empty table were two contraptions that had many different parts and they were yellow in colour.
They found TONKA TOYS!

Quote :
"I think I now understand what all this is". This grabbed Buradin's attention "and what's that?" he asked. "I believe it is some sort of complicated card game" John said.
Never knew the Titans were fans of a children's card game.

So the two try it out and wouldn't you know...

Quote :
20 years later

The game of duel monsters that Buraden Steelfist and John Miner discovered became more popular then they could of possibly imagined. Practically everyone began to play it including the leaders of theAlliance and horde. Even tournaments were held for it. It became the most renowned game on Azeroth.
The whole concept of Battlegrounds for PVP enjoyment was quickly revised to card games among players! It was the worst patch ever.

This story... is ridiculous. It takes one of the weirdest mediums for good vs evil, crosses it over with one of the best MMOS and comes out a complete mess.

I hate it so much, I'm gonna come back and review the next and only chapter it has.
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PostSubject: Re: Card games in Azeroth   Thu Aug 04, 2011 1:18 am

Holy shit. Watching Varian and Thrall play Yu Gi-Oh would actually be awesome, but it would be cooler if it was Magic: The Gathering.

Spoiler:
 
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