Unexpected Accounters

No fandom is truely safe from Bonita Prime's ugly maw. Her new target of her Mary Sueism is, none other than Star Wars. She even given Darth Vader a new daughter - a Mary Sue by the name of Karreal Skywalker. Made her into another Darth Vader sort of. You can read her ugly ass story at the new location for ED.

She's now going into the Star Wars fandom doing a crossover with Transformers. Sadly, Bonita doesn't know shit about Star Wars to know that her crossover is crap and not worthy of being posted. She does not know a thing about the mythology of Star Wars or that Darth Vader only has two children and he would not adopt or mentor another like him.

Here is her story. Smash it to bits.


Unexpected Accounters
by *mrsbonitaprime

Title: Unexpected Accouters

Author: Bonita Prime

Summary: This is a story of Darth Vader and Darth Sidius and they stumble on to something after trying to destroy a Galaxy so they sending Vader's daughter out to fined out what came out of the Galaxy before being transported.

Rating: M or R

Pairing(s): Not in this Chapter!

Feedback: I would love to know what you all think about this story and what I can do to help it improve?.

Characters: Optimus Prime, Karreal Skywalker sort for "Kari," Darth Vader, Darth Sidius and the other Autobots and Decepticons as well as others form Star Wars.

Author's Notes: I got this Idea when me and my Bro Eric talked on the phone.
So I decided to right a Crossover of Star Wars and Transformers.

Some of my friends have read this and I am letting you all know I did some changes and added a authors note , it you want you can reread it and tell me what you think.

1. This is a story about Transformers and Star Wars.

2. This story contains some Adult word ,violence with battle fights in it that may not be for kids under sixteen , there will be adult actions in this as well but NO nudity, there will also be some means of troche. If this is not your kind of story please don't read it.

3. This story will have more parts to it and it will need time to unfold, so please give the story a chance to develop.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Transformers in my story they belong to Hasbro/ Takara and Paramount as well as DreamWorks, I also Don't won any of the Star Wars Characters they are Copyrighted as well.


In a galaxy far, far away there was a space station called the death star ware Vader a his master Darth Sidius was working on a project that destroyed other galaxies and just about that time the project was near completion so they decided to test it out on a near by solar system.

On the Death Star Darth Vader was entering the main control room for the test was about to begin, " Lord Vader the weapon is operational." Said one of the men that was working the controls, " Pressed as Planed, Fire at will" Vader said as the weapon started to fire.

Just then the weapon fired a large green laser beam, that looked like light saber, which then gave a bright light shown from the galaxy, but little did Vader and his team know that a large ship came out and with another one be hided fallowing it, just as the galaxy closes and dissipated.
Vader looked up and seen that the galaxy that was there is now gone, " Well done men now we can use this to are advantage." Vader said as he walked out going to tell his master that the weapon was a success.

Vader walked in to a room that had a huge chair in front of a large widow. He then walked up to this chair and kneeled down on his left knee, " Master the weapon was successful the galaxy is destroyed." Vader said as the chair turned around to where Darth Sidius was sitting, " Oh Vader, you still have things to learn! The Galaxy is not destroyed it was transported to some ware unknown, the weapon is a fail project and now we have bought something through to our side." Sidius said in anger for he didn't like the new comers that came out of the Galaxy, Sidius didn't like any one for he was a hard man to please.

Vader looked up at his master, " What do you wish for me to do with them, Master" Vader replied, " Let them go if they bother us then we will destroy them at will, Now prepare you're youngest to train she will be of great importance to me in time." Sidius said as he looked out the window with a evil smile on his face, for he knew that Vader's daughter was powerful dew to her transformation because of a accident that happen on the last space station.

Man while in the Training room!

Karreal who is Vader's daughter but she goes by Kari for short. She was in the training room for it was her fathers orders to train every chance she gets. She has long brown hair witched looked black when the light hit it, as well as the bluest optical's that anyone had ever seen she was turned into a machine that looked human because of her deadly accident that nearly killed her as a child, she has human like skin which is a newer design then her father's, she is human but machine. She is as tall as her father and vary powerful maybe more powerful then her father, but only one person knows about that, not even Kari knew it.

Kari pulled out her light saber swords, they ware swords that had the power of a light saber running trough them, she started to move and train with her mentor that her father assigned to her he would attack her but its was all apart of the training for she was getting ready for battles to come, at times her father and her would train together, by using the force to help her control and feel danger around her. She is to take her fathers place when his time came.

Kari was training with her saber swords when her father walked in and her trainer stopped and stopped and saluted him as his daughter was smiling at her father, " Well father it looks like I am getting better every day." Kari said as her father pulled her to the side, " Kari am having you go to a planet near here to locate two ships here are there descriptions' and where to fine them," he said as he handed her a small disc, " But I must worn you don't under estimate the power in side you, for you are my Daughter," Vader said to Kari as he walked out leaving her alone.

Kari got her things and started to the speeder that her Father prepared for her. She got in to the speeder and closed up the chamber and placed the disc that her father gave her on to the locater and headed to the location she was assigned to.

Kari didn't know who or what she was getting in to but, she knew that this could be a day that something was going to happen ! But Kari didn't know what. Just then Kari fired up the air craft and took off to fine out what came out of the Galaxy before it was transported else ware.

No, you have to spork it. Don't just post it.

I have no words on how to spork that peice of shit crap fic.
It has been a while since I did a sporkage.
But I will try when I'm more awake.

Oh god, I'll have to take a go at this...but I don't want to type a snark on an iPod so it shall be forthcoming...

Lol, she thinks Darth Vader is a robot? Wut?

Edit: Okay, I can't let this go.

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Kari pulled out her light saber swords, they ware swords that had the power of a light saber running trough them

Really. I mean, I knew Bonita was a dumbass, but I don't even...A lightsaber is a type of sword. A "lightsaber sword" WOULD JUST BE A FUCKING LIGHTSABER. Holy carp...

^Nobody who knows anything about Star Wars could not know what a lightsaber is. People who know nothing else about Star Wars know that the lightsaber is the glowing sword thing. I call troll.

No-Name, I get the distinct impression you're new to this board. And frankly, new is alright.

For starters, you need to LINK the story. Copying and pasting the story is only half of it. You have to make fun of it.

Like this:

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Unexpected Accounters
by *mrsbonitaprime

Title: Unexpected Accouters

It's bad that the author can't even spell the same typo twice. You just KNOW you're in for some pain.

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Author: Bonita Prime

A name with the same effect as the Brown Noise.

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Summary: This is a story of Darth Vader and Darth Sidius and they stumble on to something after trying to destroy a Galaxy so they sending Vader's daughter out to fined out what came out of the Galaxy before being transported.

I don't know what's worse, the premise, or the skin-crawling sensation I get knowing the author hasn't reviewed source material....

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Author's Notes: I got this Idea when me and my Bro Eric talked on the phone.
So I decided to right a Crossover of Star Wars and Transformers.

I bet the conversation had nothing to do with Transformer or Star Wars.

All of that up there was just foreplay. Now begins the pain! Followed by a light salad.

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In a galaxy far, far away

You forgot to add, "A long time ago" to that opening, author. Geez! Watch a movie or two instead of spooning Prime!

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there was a space station called the death star ware Vader a his master Darth Sidius was working on a project that destroyed other galaxies and just about that time the project was near completion so they decided to test it out on a near by solar system.

Oh dear god, no! Not Raxicoricofalpatorius!

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On the Death Star Darth Vader was entering the main control room for the test was about to begin,

Vader had his No. 2 pencils sharpened and ready for it!

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" Lord Vader the weapon is operational." Said one of the men that was working the controls, " Pressed as Planed, Fire at will" Vader said as the weapon started to fire.

All this firepower to stop the Smurfs movie? Is it necessary?

The destruction of an entirely planetary system proves to be a successful test-run of this weapon. The death toll would be, no pun intended, astronomical if such a test was performed with an inhabited solar system.

Who the hell am I kidding? It's the fucking Empire. They're so evil they'd kick an Adiposian baby and still feel great!

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Vader looked up and seen that the galaxy that was there is now gone, " Well done men now we can use this to are advantage." Vader said as he walked out going to tell his master that the weapon was a success.

And they all stopped the ice-cream cruiser and threatened it at super-weapon point.

And of course Vader goes to report the test results to the Emperor.

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Vader walked in to a room that had a huge chair in front of a large widow. He then walked up to this chair and kneeled down on his left knee, " Master the weapon was successful the galaxy is destroyed."

"Good, Lord Vader. Now we won't have to worry about that wretched Starfleet."

But Darth Sidious explains to us what's really going on and leaves the audience even more confused.

[qutote] " Oh Vader, you still have things to learn! The Galaxy is not destroyed it was transported to some ware unknown, the weapon is a fail project and now we have bought something through to our side."[/quote]
I'd say this whole story is a fail project.

Yeah, I can't snark any more. I'm at my limit. If this bitch really thinks this is the best she can do, then she isn't worth the time.

I keep thinking Bonito. Like, she is some sort of fish transformer.

I've been misreading the title as "Unexpected Accountants". They destroy the Galaxy by sub-prime lending on uninhabitable planets, then call in the loans.

Jesus Christ, TWO threads where you pull the same horseshit?

PS don't do what Ian does, which is quote fucking everything with a feeble attempt at wit in between every couple of sentences.

I'm going to try to spork this and yes, I'm new and very rusty to sporking ugh fics.

Here we bloody go.

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Unexpected Accounters
by *mrsbonitaprime

Title: Unexpected Accouters

How stupid can you be? Doesn't your computer have spellcheck or did you turn it off because it was trying to correct your crapwriting?

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Summary: This is a story of Darth Vader and Darth Sidius and they stumble on to something after trying to destroy a Galaxy so they sending Vader's daughter out to fined out what came out of the Galaxy before being transported.

Darth Vader's daughter? He doesn't even know that he has one in Princess Leia and you give him another one? Who's her mamma?

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Pairing(s): Not in this Chapter!

And of course, you will make the so called daughter of Darth Vader fall head over heels in love with Optimus at first sight. That is always going to end up happening because you cannot help putting your fucking Mary Sue with your fuck object.

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Feedback: I would love to know what you all think about this story and what I can do to help it improve?

All your Yes Friends will not tell you the truth because they don't know how crappy your stories really are, they won't help you improve your crapfic. Your friends will not tell you the truth, you need a beta reader who will tell you flat out that you need to correct this and that in your story and that you need to listen to them. Idiot!

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Author's Notes: I got this Idea when me and my Bro Eric talked on the phone.
So I decided to right a Crossover of Star Wars and Transformers.

Some of my friends have read this and I am letting you all know I did some changes and added a authors note , it you want you can reread it and tell me what you think.

Your friends are idiots! This story should be deleted and not worked on at all.

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1. This is a story about Transformers and Star Wars.

2. This story contains some Adult word ,violence with battle fights in it that may not be for kids under sixteen , there will be adult actions in this as well but NO nudity, there will also be some means of troche. If this is not your kind of story please don't read it.

3. This story will have more parts to it and it will need time to unfold, so please give the story a chance to develop.

Troche? What's that? You don't even understand Star Wars enough to even write a story about Star Wars!

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Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Transformers in my story they belong to Hasbro/ Takara and Paramount as well as DreamWorks, I also Don't won any of the Star Wars Characters they are Copyrighted as well.

You don't won any of the Star Wars characters? What, I didn't know you don't won any of the Star Wars characters. You are a bloody idiot to the Star Wars movies and you don't know shit about them. Why don't you leave it to the expert writers of fanfiction to write Star Wars fanfiction, because you suck.

I won a plush R2-D2 at a carnival once. Does that count?

^Thanks for reminding me of that delightful fic where R2 goes up Prime's plush ass.

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Jesus Christ, TWO threads where you pull the same horseshit?

PS don't do what Ian does, which is quote fucking everything with a feeble attempt at wit in between every couple of sentences.

Geez, Wulfy, mad much? And here I was thinking that was what sporking is....

Howithurts wrote:

^Thanks for reminding me of that delightful fic where R2 goes up Prime's plush ass.

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Jesus Christ, TWO threads where you pull the same horseshit?

PS don't do what Ian does, which is quote fucking everything with a feeble attempt at wit in between every couple of sentences.

Geez, Wulfy, mad much? And here I was thinking that was what sporking is....

Sometimes, she's cute when she's bitchy, other times I think she just needs to get laid. It would really improve her mood.

Howithurts wrote:

^Thanks for reminding me of that delightful fic where R2 goes up Prime's plush ass.

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Jesus Christ, TWO threads where you pull the same horseshit?

PS don't do what Ian does, which is quote fucking everything with a feeble attempt at wit in between every couple of sentences.

Geez, Wulfy, mad much? And here I was thinking that was what sporking is....

No, that's what people here think constitutes "sporking".

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Sometimes, she's cute when she's bitchy, other times I think she just needs to get laid. It would really improve her mood.

Yes, Ian, every woman who doesn't instantly fawn over you and tell you what a cool guy you are just needs a good dicking. How very enlightened of you.

Dumbass.

Cyberwulf wrote:

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Sometimes, she's cute when she's bitchy, other times I think she just needs to get laid. It would really improve her mood.

Yes, Ian, every woman who doesn't instantly fawn over you and tell you what a cool guy you are just needs a good dicking. How very enlightened of you.

Dumbass.

See, there you go again, being just adorable when you're bitchy. Also like how you think sarcasm is the only way to come across being hilarious on the board.

I know you hate me. I know you hate a good majority of the people on the board.

By "get laid", I obviously mean lighten up. You always come off as too serious, offended easily, or just plain arrogant.

Loosen up, baby.

TheIan wrote:

[See, there you go again, being just adorable when you're bitchy. Also like how you think sarcasm is the only way to come across being hilarious on the board.

I know you hate me. I know you hate a good majority of the people on the board.

By "get laid", I obviously mean lighten up. You always come off as too serious, offended easily, or just plain arrogant.

Loosen up, baby.

For some reason, can't put my finger on why, I'm suddenly seeing a plaid-wearing creep from back in the day telling his angry secretary that she should consider it a compliment for him to pinch her ass.

TheIan wrote:

[See, there you go again, being just adorable when you're bitchy. Also like how you think sarcasm is the only way to come across being hilarious on the board.

I know you hate me. I know you hate a good majority of the people on the board.

By "get laid", I obviously mean lighten up. You always come off as too serious, offended easily, or just plain arrogant.

Loosen up, baby.

oh mai gawd ian you're so right, sarcasm is soooooo last year

sexual harrassment is obviously where it's at

bend over and show me that puckered asshole of yours baby, let me jam this big dildo in there

maladroit_mooncalf wrote:

For some reason, can't put my finger on why, I'm suddenly seeing a plaid-wearing creep from back in the day telling his angry secretary that she should consider it a compliment for him to pinch her ass.

I know, right?

Howithurts wrote:

Geez, Wulfy, mad much? And here I was thinking that was what sporking is....

What's up with your infantile attempts to troll Cyberwulf? Or is this your n00b way of trying to make friends?


Also, did anyone else have the urge to try to spork no-name's "spork"? I kept waiting for funny and it never happened. Unless this is a new genre of troll-spork?

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2. This story contains some Adult word ,violence with battle fights in it that may not be for kids under sixteen , there will be adult actions in this as well but NO nudity, there will also be some means of troche. If this is not your kind of story please don't read it.

I'm scared to ask. Troche?

EileenK98 wrote:

^Nobody who knows anything about Star Wars could not know what a lightsaber is. People who know nothing else about Star Wars know that the lightsaber is the glowing sword thing. I call troll.

Or maybe she's just incredibly ignorant.

TheIan wrote:

See, there you go again, being just adorable when you're bitchy. Also like how you think sarcasm is the only way to come across being hilarious on the board.

I know you hate me. I know you hate a good majority of the people on the board.

By "get laid", I obviously mean lighten up. You always come off as too serious, offended easily, or just plain arrogant.

Loosen up, baby.

Seriously. I barely even post on this forum and when I see a Cyberwulf post, my instinct is to cover my eyes before the sarcastic loathing can eat into them. She just comes across as...permanently constipated. Can't be a fun way to go through life.

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

I keep thinking Bonito. Like, she is some sort of fish transformer.

Yeah, I couldn't stop thinking that either.

"Kari pulled out her light saber swords, they ware swords that had the power of a light saber running trough them... at times her father and her would train together, by using the force to help her control and feel danger around her. She is to take her fathers place when his time came."

It's as if Huck Finn were trying to tell ol' Jim about some parts of Star Wars he reckoned he remembered.

From what I understand, what she means by "light saber sword" must be a regular sword with lightsaber energy on the blade. Kinda like those glowing RPG weapons.

Which basically makes the whole thing a lightsaber with extra weight, since adding metal to a regular lightsaber blade will do jack shit to its cutting power.

Dixie wrote:

I've been misreading the title as "Unexpected Accountants". They destroy the Galaxy by sub-prime lending on uninhabitable planets, then call in the loans.

You're not misreading it-that IS the title. She actually repeats it twice.

And frankly, I think your idea would make a far more amusing story than hers.