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 Split Personalitys Snake X Otacon YaoiHet by Angstreunion

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Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 32

PostSubject: Split Personalitys Snake X Otacon YaoiHet by Angstreunion   Mon Jul 25, 2011 12:31 pm

Split Personalitys Snake X Otacon YaoiHet by Angstreunion.

I am going to preface this by saying and am not really hip to MGS canon. I watched a couple of the games being played. I know Otacon (Hal) is a nerd with incest-related issues up the wazoo, Snake (Dave) and Meryl are badasses, Raiden (Jack) is a pretty boy the fandom hates, and Ben Ten’s Grandpa talks to Snake over some sort of computer dealy. I am pretty sure none of this matters because any way you slice it this fic is incompetent gayst drama that has nothing to do with killer robots or confusing clone shenanigans.
Quote :
All Characters are kept true to their character, behavior and vocabularies From the Games, Only Bending To Storyline.
In other words, everyone is OOC as hell. But who cares amirite?

So, Snake arrives from Alaska by plane and Otacon is waiting for him. They exchange awkward dialog and manly hugs.
Quote :
They walked up and made their familiar multi-hit handshake ending in a manly hug, Hal was distracted by Dave's strong Cologne.
“Phew, Snake, AXE? What are you, 14?”

The author tried to oh-so-subtly lay the ground work for the eventual man-sexing, but fairs only marginally better than that Doug slash I just got done reviewing (plug plug).
Quote :
"Wow! I, I don't know where to start! There's only so much you can sort out over the phone,in E-mails and on web-cam..." Otacon shyly said while stumbling on his words.

"Hey, I hope Meryl's taking care of you..." Hal mumbled with a tinge of jealously.
Also I guess Hal and Otacon are separate people now?

The dialog goes on to try and establish Otacon as a blushing uke with crush. This characterization does not come out of nowhere. Otacon is in many ways sort of a wimp, especially compared to Snake, but this fic just has to go that extra mile…

Quote :
It was bad enough he couldn't look at Dave without feeling that flush in his cheeks. He dare not say anything, fearing ridicule and maybe even violence at Snakes hand.
You always love the ones that beat you violently when they suspect you have the gay.

Not that Snake fairs any better in the characterization department, turning from an iconic badass to the personification of a bad country-western song.
Quote :
Snake replied to the sky "I drink to kill the pain the depression causes, and the drink makes me depressed..."

"Why do you feel like this..?" Hal said sympathetically.

"...Meryl." Snake almost whispered.
“Not the slow genetic death or the super-powerful secret organizations we have to fight, or the fact that I am a clone and my ‘brother’ keeps trying to kill me. That woman I sort flirt with a couple times and then never see again.”

Quote :
The carry-all made all kinds of clinking sounds. Hal reached over and pulled open the rest of the zip to find bottles of whiskey and vodka.

"There must be sixteen bottles in here easy?" Hal exclaimed with a saddened voice.
I guess where ever they are now has crappier liquor stores than Alaska? I exclaimed with a saddened voice?

Otacon suggests Snake probably should not down 16 fifths in the airport lobby and Snake flips his shit and goes to his hotel room, leaving Otacon to cry like the weepy uke he is. After stewing in his uke-juice for a few hours, Otacon decided to eavesdrop on Snake while he is on the phone with Meryl.

Quote :
Otacon couldn't help feeling swoony as he heard Snake having an erratic conversation that seemed to span many emotions.
Yeah that always makes me feel swoony too. I think they make pills for it.

So, Otacon invites himself in after the phone call ends and starts mothering Snake like a mofo, cleaning up with ashtrays and empty booze bottles and telling him to lay down. Snake tell him that if Meryl does not want him, then he has nothing to live for. This is not only dumb-tasically OOC, but also just plain cliché melodrama bee-ess.

Otacon’s response to his buddy’s domestic troubles is to wax philosophic about the nature of love. I think.
Quote :
"Yea I spoke to her a few hours ago. She was teary then, I just don't understand, from what I hear you two have blazing rows - she treats you like this, and you crawl back for more...?" Otacon said as he tried to enlighten Snake.
Yes, that was very enlightening nerd-bait. You really missed your calling as a marriage councilor. (SECRET NOTE FOR NON-FANS: OTACON HAD UNDERAGE SEX WITH HIS STEPMOTHER)

So, Otacon lusts after Snake’s sexy body some more, rambling on about Snake's pretty eyes and sexy way with a cigarette. Finally he just kisses the guy because hell, why not? Snake, meanwhile, is drunk out of his goddamn mind and is basically laying there half comatose while Otacon has his way with him. But Otacon’s magical kiss of tru wub awakens the beast, and Snake regains enough will power to plow dat geek ass.

Quote :
He could feel a measure of his close friends strength by the weight of his muscular yet lean body on top and the way he held Otacon's arms down, It was obvious how this was going to play out and he loved the pure submission and acceptance of what was going to happen.
Well, you are the uke Otacon, so it is not like you are going to get some any other way.

So they go on to have what sounds like some pretty terrible sex. Snake tries to enter with no lube and gets angry that he cannot get it in and tries to force it with the aid of some spit. Otacon finds some ‘thick silicon based shampoo’ (is that even a thing?) and soaps up his butt while Snake continues to try and pound him (Snake sure is a charmer).

Quote :
Hal wondered why Snake didn't touch him anywhere else. He just held onto his hips and bashed away at him,
Uh, probably because he is an utter dickhole?

Quote :
He started to go numb as his eyes rolled up and a trickle of blood ran down his glasses.
And he has been bashing your head against the wall this whole time. Sounds like fun!

Snake orgasms and promptly falls asleep. Otacon limps out of the room. Sure is nice to see healthy relationships portrayed in fanfiction, huh?

For the record, this is chapter 1 of 15.
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Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 29

PostSubject: Re: Split Personalitys Snake X Otacon YaoiHet by Angstreunion   Mon Jul 25, 2011 12:57 pm

Reepicheep-chan wrote:
For the record, this is chapter 1 of 15.
Sex in the first chapter? The author is blowing their load too early.
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Split Personalitys Snake X Otacon YaoiHet by Angstreunion
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