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Just Chipper
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Mon Jul 18, 2011 6:13 pm

Quote :
It is obvious that you are so stuck on being persecuted that you won't listen to calm reason.
He's done this before and quite frankly it's getting tedious trying to teach him not to glue his feet to the inside of the blocked toilet bowl. You really don't want to take the next turn pulling him out.

Chris91 wrote:
I must ... post.
You literally started a thread about horrible fanart which everybody else wasn't impressed with and continued to post insisting how bad the art is when there is nothing wrong with it from an objective point of view. A MAN HAS EXOTIC IDEAS ABOUT ESTABLISHED CHARACTERS FROM A COMPANY?? THE HORROR!!!

Quote :
Well, it's pretty hard to interpret something like this as anything other than a personal attack:

I dare you to break apart Lapin's post and argue against every point she brings up without resorting to cheap baseless insults. If you do so and the thread considers your reasoning good enough I will fucking paypal you $10 for every positive post in your favour and donate $50 to a charity of your choice.

Spoiler:
 
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Chris91
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Mon Jul 18, 2011 6:16 pm

CaptainMcNeil wrote:
Chris91 wrote:
It can't, Captain. Lapin made sure that a confrontation was inevitable.

Almost everything can be solved by pleasent discourse, if you'd give it a chance and not flip out.

You apparently haven't been following the budget talks in DC.
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CaptainMcNeil
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Mon Jul 18, 2011 6:17 pm

Chris91 wrote:
CaptainMcNeil wrote:
Chris91 wrote:
It can't, Captain. Lapin made sure that a confrontation was inevitable.

Almost everything can be solved by pleasent discourse, if you'd give it a chance and not flip out.

You apparently haven't been following the budget talks in DC.

Almost everything.

And tell hell if the budget talks are pleasent.
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Lady Anne
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Mon Jul 18, 2011 6:31 pm

This may not be pleasant discourse, but it sure as hell is entertaining.

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Lapin
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Mon Jul 18, 2011 6:32 pm

CaptainMcNeil wrote:
Chris91 wrote:


And finally to Lapin, the worthless piece of toxic waste who started all this: You deserve to be hanged, you slut.

I believe that fucking crossed the line.

It would if I cared about a rather boring troll's insults.

To address his points:

1.) Well, certainly not for this. Granted, I've probably committed a few hanging offenses in my life, like that time Nikki and me were drunk at the movies and talked through the whole thing. We all know I'm going to a special hell for that anyway though.
2.)
Quote :
slut (slʌt)

— n
1. derogatory a dirty slatternly woman
2. derogatory an immoral woman
3. archaic a female dog

A.) I am so clean I drive everyone crazy.
B.) Eh. To be fair, morals are kind of a grey area.
C.) Still walking upright and using an extremely developed brain. So, no.

Chris wrote:
Well, it's pretty hard to interpret something like this as anything other than a personal attack

You know, I considered it less an attack, and more as advice. Advice you desperately, desperately need.

Quote :
It can't, Captain. Lapin made sure that a confrontation was inevitable.

Did I? My I'm a clever girl, pulling your slimy little puppet strings with the bare minimum of effort.


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Penguin
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Mon Jul 18, 2011 6:50 pm

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rae
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Mon Jul 18, 2011 8:05 pm

Huh. I wonder if the reason Chris so often brings up Chris-chan is because he thinks that he will seem cooler by constantly referencing one of the few people more lame than he is.

PROTIP: It doesn't.

Now we shall compare the reactions of two people called a whore on a forum, you and Average Person.

Average person: "BWAHAHAHAHA!" Or, "LOL, whatever." Also acceptable: "Uh. No." *presses ignore button*
Chris: I HOPE YOU DIE! DIE AND YOU GO TO HELL! YOU ARE THE MOST HORRIBLE TERRIBLE PERSON EVER! *continues to rage for literal days*

Do you see the difference there? I know you won't listen, but I feel it should be said. Go to a licensed therapist. If all it takes to put you into this kind of helpless RAEG is someone telling you that you are lame -- possibly the mildest insult the world has known -- then you need help. Serious help. You really will give yourself a heart attack if you don't. And you will be a much happier person if you can learn to not give a shit when someone on the internet insults you.

e: Punctuation. It matters.


Last edited by rae on Tue Jul 19, 2011 12:39 am; edited 1 time in total
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Harley Quinn hyenaholic
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Mon Jul 18, 2011 9:38 pm

If I ignored Chris, crazy conversations like this wouldn't make any sense.
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Tue Jul 19, 2011 9:31 am

Chris91 wrote:

She called me a troll...if that's not an attack I'd like to know what is.
CHRIS, the reason you get called a troll (or sockpuppet) is because your reactions are so over the top. If I wrote a story and based one of the characters on you, I'm sure a lot of people would complain that the character was too unbelievable, because no way anyone reacts like that.

Also, you started this by making this thread.
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grmblfjx
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Tue Jul 19, 2011 11:11 am

So is every single one of you shit-stirring? Because this forum seems to be more troll-y than I thought.


Just Chipper wrote:
He's done this before and quite frankly it's getting tedious trying to teach him not to glue his feet to the inside of the blocked toilet bowl.
Can you post more? You make me laugh.


PS look who was in the chatbox last night.



Spoiler:
 
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Cyberwulf
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Tue Jul 19, 2011 4:48 pm

Oh Chris, where are you tonight? There's a hape of us in the shitbox right now!
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Tue Jul 19, 2011 4:59 pm

Yes! You mustn't miss out on the conspiring.
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Just Chipper
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Tue Jul 19, 2011 5:52 pm

OK guys I'm making a request to get this started!!

I'd like to see a fic where Chris91 wears a fish bowl on his head and nobody in his day to day life notices.
Pairing: Fish feed/Chris91's nostrils
Kink: Asphyxiation.

Obvious anon is obvious, I know. Blush
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Sutremaine
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:21 pm

Looks like he really did leave for a bit. That's good.
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Penguin
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:27 pm

Chris91 retreated to his inner sanctum, or as his mother called it, "the stink den." The stench of numerous Kleenex tissues encrusted with semen wafted up from the basement as he descended into it.

It invigorated him. Hardened his diminutive member. It throbbed with anticipation.

Chris flopped down into his computer chair to view the latest posts on "Why, God, Why?" Surely the other members would appreciate his acerbic wit. But first...

It'd been awhile since he'd started a new thread. He decided to Google for one of his favorite fandoms, and almost immediately came upon a Youtube link. Intrigued, Chris91 clicked On it, and saw a mediocre reproduction of Grease in animated form.

His man-itoris throbbed with righteous indignation.

Perfection!

He immediately copied the URL and pasted it into a WGW thread box. "This is the worst thing since the Holocaust."

Oh yes. The Holocaust. He was truly on a roll, now.

"Stalin himself couldn't devise a more sick way to torture someone."

Chris paused typing for a moment and reached with one hand to massage his groin. He began massaging the fat fold that passed for his crotch with a feeble, flabby fist. Yes, this was truly what he had been craving for weeks now. He restrained himself awhile longer to type once more.

"In fact, I'm sure Pol Pot would get off to this."

Yes! Yes! Pol Pot! Nobody ever mentions Pol Pot! What an astute observation! Nobody ever brings up Pol Pot these days. What a clever reference to make. Chris reached down to stroke himself some more but quickly hesitated. He was too close to orgasm. He couldn't let it go now. Not yet.

First he had to slip his Kotex pad down there. When your John Thomas was as much a Wee Willy Winky as his, you had no idea where the baby batter would wind up. Not that he was fertile. It was more like the unfortunate side effect of having a Super Soaker Oozinator in your abdomen. Impotent, and harmless to children.

Then, inspiration struck. Was it time?

Most assuredly, it was.

Chris hefted his cetacean bulk out of his computer chair, groping his own crotch as he waddled to the closet. Oh yes, oh yes.

Chris wrenched the closet door open with his free hand. He was nearly overcome with the sight of it: The long, smooth shaft of electroless nickel. Its name alone positively oozed sex: Remington 870 Marine Magnum

There was no manlier phrase on the planet. Dabbing a bit of pre-come on the girthy 12-guage barrel, he knew it was time. He dropped his pants all the way to the floor, and wedged the butt (butt!) of the shotgun in the corner of the closet.

"Ohhhh yes," Chris sighed, as he carefully sat down on the muzzle. "Ohhh God. Yes," as he took the hard, metallic fullness within his colon.

"Yes!" he cried, reaching down to rack the slide of the shotgun, the front half fully enveloped in his stinkhole. He gripped it firmly, and racked it down. "Yes!" as a shell was ejected from the side of the firearm. "Oh yes!"

He racked it again and again. Four more times, in fact, wildly inaccurate visions of Huey attack helicopters dancing in his head. "Yes, yes, YES!"

Until he could withstand it no more. He reached down one final time, and pressed on the trigger.

The steel-plated double-ought buckshot erupted from the barrel of the Remington 870 Marine Magnum, tearing through his colon and intestinal walls, mutilating his solar plexus before erupting out of him, just below the chest, and into the basement drywall. Chris fell to his side, the last shell spent, along with most of his innards.

"Oh," he choked, "Oh, oh, oh..."

And in that moment of extreme pain, and oncoming, excruciating death, he knew.

As the blackness enveloped him, and nothing came of him save for blood and excrement, he finally knew: He was wrong.

About everything. Absolutely, totally wrong.

He would've screamed, had he the blood for it. But he did not.

And thus passed Chris91.


Last edited by Penguin on Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:31 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Chris91
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:28 pm

Fuck you, Penguin. I hope you get run over by a truck.

Multiple times.
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Sutremaine
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:29 pm

Well, looks like I spoke too soon.
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Lurv
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:34 pm

Sutremaine he was just lurking pretty much.

Anyway, Penguin. THAT WAS WONDERFUL. Your characterization is spot-on!
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Chris91
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:35 pm

Lurv wrote:
Sutremaine he was just lurking pretty much.

Anyway, Penguin. THAT WAS WONDERFUL. Your characterization is spot-on!

No it wasn't, you asshole.

I hope your whole family dies in a fire.
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Sutremaine
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:44 pm

Lurv wrote:
he was just lurking pretty much.
At the very least he was resisting the temptation to post.
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Chris91
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:45 pm

Sutremaine wrote:
Looks like he really did leave for a bit. That's good.

It was a total waste of time. It just encouraged my enemies to attack me more viciously than ever.
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Lurv
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:47 pm

Yes. Real life (or ANYTHING that isn't WGW) is a total waste of time.
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Tue Jul 19, 2011 6:54 pm

Chris91 wrote:
It was a total waste of time. It just encouraged my enemies to attack me more viciously than ever.
At this point it doesn't really matter what you do, since you've demonstrated the willingness to rise to attacks. They're just throwing crap around to see if you pick any of it up, they don't care about any of this even a fraction as much as you do. It's just the internet, and it's just a snark site filled with members that eat their own.

So, given that what you do has no bearing on what everyone else is doing, which road are you going to take?
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Penguin
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Tue Jul 19, 2011 7:23 pm

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It was always the same. No matter what the subject, he always tried to cough up a melodramatic metaphor. Always exaggerated, always hitting as hard as a pillow thrown by a five-year-old. Chris91 was out of the game. He'd been out of it longer than anyone could remember. Maybe, he'd never been in it.

His door threatened to give out under my knocks, rattling against rusted hinges.

"H-hello?" The sound of a morbidly obese, yet reedy-voiced man trying to sound tough a particle board door. Ikea armor. His thin facade could barely stand up to a faceless greeting. I knew what I'd be facing when the door opened. Not if. When.

"Mister... Ninety-One? I have some questions for you regarding a missing persons case." I was careful not to give away too much. See what he'd offer up when he thought he was playing it cool.

"Are you with the WGWPD?" Now there was a stupid question. No such thing.

"Mister Ninety-One, I just want to ask a few questions and then I'll leave."

"Okay, okay." The door creaked open slightly. A thin chain of solely ornamental value was all that prevented the door from opening all the way. "What do you want?"

I peered through the door. For a second, I thought Gabe Newell was looking back at me. Chris91 gasped and recoiled, but my foot was already in the door. Literally. It crumbled under the thrust from my shoulder.

"What do you want?" the porcine man-child wailed as the backpedalled into the dirty yellow wallpaper. "I've done nothing! You got nothing!"

"Like I said, I've got a few questions. Why don't we start off with the easy one: Where's your girlfriend?"

"Huh?" Chris tried to buy time for the hamsters in his head to start running while he wheezed. "I don't have a..."

It was like watching an old lady try to stop her Volkswagen by throwing it into reverse.

"I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! I TOTALLY HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, YES I DO!"

"She look like this?" I asked, throwing a crumpled wad of Lilo stills onto his coffee table, stained with God only knows what.

"What? I-"

I grabbed the hair on the back of his head, or at least, what passed for hair. It was like plunging my hand into a French fryer that'd been turned off and left to cool overnight. I still managed to slam his face down into the coffee table.

"Why'd you do it, Chris? Why'd you kill Eileen?"
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CaptainMcNeil
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PostSubject: Re: "Disney Princess Warriors"   Tue Jul 19, 2011 7:36 pm

Oh, God Chris. I thought we talked about this. If you fucking let it die it will fucking die. If you'd left it would've been a lot better. God, why can't you understand.
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