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 Fall into the "Fart Tunnel" once again... NWS

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Malganis
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PostSubject: Fall into the "Fart Tunnel" once again... NWS   Mon Jun 29, 2009 1:52 pm

The Fart Tunnel, by Chozo.

Quote :
Carl was exhausted after a long day at work, and couldn't even manage enough energy to take a shower before striping down to his tightey-whiteys and hopping into bed. He quickly threw the covers over himself, and emitted a final boisterous fart for the day from his anus.

Is there any other place that farts are emitted? (No queefing allowed in this story.)

Quote :
It only took a few minutes, and he was out like a light. He soon lay dreaming, completely oblivious that his massive fart had somehow managed to create a tear in the fabric of the space-time continuum...

Wow, farts can do that? Why the hell did we build the Large Hadron Collider, then?

And here I thought farts just smelled bad and were useful for bathroom-humor jokes....

Quote :
Meanwhile, in a parallel universe, the fair princess Alonia was likewise snuggling up under the silken sheets of her royal bed preparing to sleep.

... She lay there in the comfort of her own bed, and here she at last found the privacy to relieve herself of the gas that had built up in her bowels without embarrassment (because a lady was not supposed to do such things). "Ahhh!" she sighed, as her delicate anus puckered slightly and blew out a dainty fart, beneath her fine silken undergarments. From the sound of it, it probably left a stain -- but that would be a secret known only to the servants who took care of her laundry!

A fart that blows out shit does not equal "dainty".

Anyway, it appears that her fart and his fart have both created a ... "FART TUNNEL". Just like in the title. But what's at the end of that tunnel?

Well, it's... another tunnel.

Quote :
It was true that she had just farted, but that couldn't possibly explain the revolting stench that filled her nostrils with every breathe, and soon had her coughing and sputtering in a state of full consciousness. She recognized the horrible smell as that of a sweaty ass crevice, but this was thousands of times stronger than any such smell she'd ever encountered from her own derriere. Another thing she noticed immediately was that her bedroom felt much warmer than it should have, in fact the heat had somehow become unbearably stifling.

Princess Alonia was absolutely certain something was very wrong, but she still couldn't piece together what could possibly explain this odd turn of events. Determined to get to the bottom of this, the beautiful woman cast off her covers and tried stepping out of bed. To her utter amazement, she discovered that she was no longer even on her bed at all! Instead, she suddenly realized she had been laying on some strange sticky surface, which she could not account for, as nothing like it could be found anywhere in her quarters.

Out of curiousity, she reached out with her hand and felt the ground. In the sweltering darkness, her hand brushed across what she guessed was some sort of grass. What she didn't know, was this "grass" was actually the ass hairs of a sleeping giant, and she had somehow become trapped just outside of it! Unaware of the danger she was in, the young princess got to her knees and attempted to feel her way around in this dark "wilderness". Unfortunately, her movements provoked the sleeping giant to reach down and scratch at whatever was causing the itchy tickling sensation on his ass!

Poor Allonia is then pushed into the unaware Carl's ass...

Quote :
Sadly, breathing was no longer what had been cracked up to be.

That's because the marketing campaign for respiration sucked... well, ass.

Quote :
The horrible sweaty stench of ass had become even more intense, and had now become mingled with the smell of human excrement.

Smells like this fic.

Quote :
Suddenly, it all finally sank in, and Alonia began to weep when she realized her mysterious prison was none other than the foul ass of a giant!

As the story will show us, throwing someone in the butthole lockup dramatically reduces escapes. All convicted criminals should be ideally be sentenced to a giant's butthole to serve out their sentences. Think of the drop in crime rates that would cause!

Quote :
The giant ass enjoyed the feel of Alonia's silk nightdown,

GIANT ASS: "Ooh, yeah, baby, work that gown. Ooh, that feels so good." *phooot*

Quote :
and with almost a mind of its own, greedily pulled her in further, until her delicate bare feet pressed up against the giant's anus. "Please God, don't let me go in any deeper!" Alonia wailed fearfully. Indeed, if she did go in any deeper she'd literally find herself in deep shit! It seemed as if the beautiful maiden's prayers were answered, and the giant ass had its fill of her.

GIANT ASS: "Okay, bored now." *phooo*

Quote :
Time passed by extremely slowly for Alonia in her horrid prison. It may have only been an hour, or maybe two, but for Alonia every moment was excruciatingly slow in its passing. Finally, she began to feel a strange sensation with the massive sphincter beneath her feet. Just as soon as she realized what this meant, the colossal orifice puckered out like a volcano, before exploding in an eruption of sulfrous gas!

The blast was so loud it shattered Alonia's eardrums instantly, and was the last thing she ever heard. Foul winds as strong as an F5 Tornado ripped past her, whipping violently past her luxurious red hair. Had she not been in the ass, the giant's underwear would have been stained as a result of this fart. But thanks to Alonia's presence, her fine silk gown took the brunt of the massive skidmark. It was a fart that no one in the world aside from Alonia ever knew about; even its creator was fast asleep and unaware he'd dealt it, but to Alonia it was a real nightmare of unimaginable proportions...

Wouldn't that have blasted her out of his ass? Oh, never mind, it's not like the rest of the story makes any damn sense.

Quote :
Princess Alonia fought for all she was worth, but the combined strength of her entire body was no match for the anus which routinely pushed out shit that would make her father's castle seem small in comparison! The ravenous orifice greedily began to gobble her up, in the same way a wolf might gobble up a mouse. In just a few toothless "bites" she'd been taken in up to her child-bearing hips.

Wolves are toothless and devour small animals in progressive bites?

... this guy has never seen a canine eat something small, has he?

Either that or all the wolves he's seen are afflicted with the dreaded ASSFACE disorder.

Quote :
In desperation, the princess began to grab at anything and everything that might possibly save her. In this case, all she could find was a thick tangled forest of ass hairs, which she grasped onto as firmly as she could. Unfortunately, the ass hairs were slick from sweat and shit, and her slipped from her grasp like a bar of soap.

...Filthy, nasty ass hairs.

Ooh, so hawt.

Quote :
The sphinctor

Either that's a misspelling, or it's a new He-Man and the Masters of the Universe villain.

Quote :
took yet another "bite", and the Princess was sucked in up to her breasts. On the other side, her feet flailed around helplessly, while her arms did the same thing on the outside. There was another toothless "bite" and the sphincter wrapped itself around her throat, threatening to strangle the life out of her. But before she could be granted the mercy of a quick death, there was one final "bite" and the most beautiful princess in all the land was swallowed up completely into the giant's rectum, unbenownst to the giant.

And if you think the story ends here, you're wrong, because what goes in... must come out!

Quote :
He hobbled off to the bathroom to do his usual morning routine. After a few loud grunts, his rectum reluctantly emptied itself of its contents, as if it somehow wanted to hold onto them.

The scariest damn thing is that, just like in Naked Lunch, this guy's anus apparently has a mind of its own. Shocked

Quote :
He rose and wiped himself off, and reached over to the toilet handle. He paused for a moment to admire his handiwork.

There was a little sticker on it, saying "THIS SHIT IS MADE BY HAND".

Quote :
He pulled down on the lever, but he immediately regreted doing that, because there was something tiny embeddied inside the log which seemed out of place. Whatever it was, it was less than an inch long, but it stood out like a piece of corn, except it looked kinda like a tiny doll.

And that was the remains of Allonia.

Quote :
As for Alonia's body, it passed down into the sewers, along with her expensive clothing and jewelry she had been wearing at the time. No trace of her body was ever found. Her soul, on the other hand, was a different story. Though she had died, her ghost lingered on inside of Carl's rectum, haunting it for all eternity. Of course, no one ever knew about this haunting, but there were times when Carl would almost swear he could hear the sound of a woman wailing or sobbing each and every time he let out a fart or took a shit...

Great, so his asshole is even creepier, now.

WHAT A SEXAY STORY, HUH?


Last edited by Malganis on Mon Jun 29, 2009 2:34 pm; edited 1 time in total
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rae
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PostSubject: Re: Fall into the "Fart Tunnel" once again... NWS   Mon Jun 29, 2009 2:28 pm

God. >___< Anal vore. I hope to never see it again.
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King Bee
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PostSubject: Re: Fall into the "Fart Tunnel" once again... NWS   Wed Jul 08, 2009 6:48 pm

So, was Princess Alonia naturally tiny or did the Fart Tunnel shrink her?
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szaleniec
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PostSubject: Re: Fall into the "Fart Tunnel" once again... NWS   Thu Jul 09, 2009 9:23 am

It's like something from the Viz but with all the humour surgically removed.
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PostSubject: Re: Fall into the "Fart Tunnel" once again... NWS   Thu Jul 09, 2009 5:57 pm

This story is funnier if you imagine Carl is the Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
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PostSubject: Re: Fall into the "Fart Tunnel" once again... NWS   Fri Jul 10, 2009 4:51 pm

^ I actually thought that who that was at first.
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PostSubject: Re: Fall into the "Fart Tunnel" once again... NWS   Sat Jul 11, 2009 9:06 pm

Trioculus wrote:
This story is funnier if you imagine Carl is the Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

You're my fucking hero.
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PostSubject: Re: Fall into the "Fart Tunnel" once again... NWS   Sat Apr 23, 2011 4:17 am

Sorry for the necro-post (I assume this isn't allowed, I'm new here) but this would actually make a good ghost story, like the type little kids tell at slumber parties. I'll try it out next time my friends and I are up for a bit of immaturity...
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