Fic in the TF anon kink meme--ROBOT PISS

Somebody answered a watersports kink. I read it for the lulz. Set in TF Prime.

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Robots peeing? Hoookay...

Quote :

“Master! I can’t-- I can’t hold it--” Starscream cried through gritted teeth, his voice rising in pitch. His vents hitched in a humiliated sob. He could feel Megatron’s optics boring into him and studying his every move. He’d missed his chance to make a break for the door; if he moved now he was certain to wet himself. The pressure in his waste tank was at a critical level. His plating felt so hot he thought he’d melt from sheer humiliation. When he felt the first few drops of piss leak out against his fingers, he wished he would melt. Tears stung his optics and he turned his head away, determined to not let Megatron see.

“What’s this? My prized second-in-command about to soil himself like a new hatchling? How pathetic,” Megatron sneered. His optics were fixed between Starscream’s legs. He could see the first traces of liquid glistening on the Seeker’s fingers and licked his lips in anticipation. Starscream squealed and violently shook his head, but it was too late. Megatron rumbled with satisfaction when he heard the tell-tale hiss of fluid release. Rivulets of piss gushed over Starscream’s fingers and down the insides of his smooth, slender thighs. The liquid trickled along seams in his armor, some of it sliding all the way down over his shapely heels, some of it dripping directly onto the ground under him to form a small puddle. Another sob escaped Starscream as he realized what he had done, and who he’d done it in front of. He was certain this would mean the end of his existence. More tears streamed from his optics as he stood there helplessly, armor wet and gleaming with his own waste.

So Starscream has all the self control of a five year old. What happened to him doing what he wanted and fuck what Megatron had to say?

Quote :

The longer he watched Megatron, the more Starscream felt his typical bravado return. Shame still curled tight and hot in his spark, but he found another familiar sensation building with equal intensity in his valve. Yes, he had wet himself in front of his Master. But it was Megatron’s fault, really, and now it almost seemed like he had wanted it to happen. So let him see, Starscream thought brazenly.

With that he slid two fingers down between his thighs, framing the fragile components there. He opened his legs wider and, facing Megatron, released a final squirt of piss right onto his chair.

Then he does more on purpose. WHAT.

Quote :

“Greedy little slut,” Megatron panted. His movements grew faster and more erratic as he grew hotter, his spike starting to twitch inside Starscream’s valve.

Starscream felt it too. The walls of his valve rippled in response and he shrieked, “Master, yes, yes-- don’t stop--!”

He couldn’t restrain himself much longer, knowing that Megatron was about to lose control and come deep inside him. Starscream gave an earsplitting cry as his valve clamped down again and again around Megatron’s spike. Motor spasms wracked his little frame. In the throes of his pleasure he soiled himself again and sent another stream of piss spraying over his both Megatron’s frame and his own. Given how wet Starscream’s valve was, Megatron barely noticed as those soft, yielding walls squeezed him dry. He grunted loudly as he came, unloading his fluid into Starscream’s overstuffed valve.

And now it looks like Starscream has a vagina. Oh God do I hate it when writers use "valve" and "spike."

Overall the writing itself is wonderful. I think the execution and premise are ridiculous.

I blame Michael Bay.

Eh, Futurama gave us robots pissing years ago. Undoubtedly they weren't the first, but my pop culture references are weak these days as I spend my long, dull, days staring at the wall.

As I recall, a robot offered to weld Fry's leak shut when he was disguised as a robot. Michael Bay was the one who specifically gave us tearing, peeing, farting, vomiting Transformers in either case.

This fic is especially amusing if you're like me and are only familiar with the G1 series and picture those versions of the characters instead of whatever the hell TF Prime is.

EDIT: oh my god that whole meme is comedy gold:

Make Lots and Lots of Love, Not War wrote:

Laserbeak reset his optics a few times. They simply took their seats, most of them turning away and resuming their refueling. Even Hound reclined in the multi-mech chair as if this were an afternoon visit, rubbing Bumblebee's head while Beachcomber continued to paw at his legs.

This was... a weird day, Laserbeak figured, and weird wasn't a word he often used. Megatron would, at the very least, be confused by the report and most likely not reprimand him. Perhaps he would be rewarded for finding a relationship to exploit.

All was well, and then Beachcomber stuck his fingers in Bumblebee's port.

&&&

“Turn this- this pornography off immediately!”

Laserbeak barely managed to turn off the video feed before Megatron's hand came crashing down beside him.

Quote :

“- and he just stuck his fingers in!” shouted Starscream. All optics snapped to him, and the Seeker jumped. “You saw it! Does the yellow one even know where that hand has been?!”

oh god I'm going to wet myself

JUST LIKE STARSCREAM IN THAT OTHER FIC AMIRITE

Prime Starscream is in my sig. He's voiced by Steve Blum and well, he's got the girliest legs anybody has ever seen. Total wankbait. The vids are most of his appearances, so they're all chopped up and stupid because the fan who edited them can't work moviemaker. LOL

That's right, we can blame Michael Bay for this crap.

WE CAN AND WE DO!

G1 gave us 'slag' years ago. A nice, G-rated curseword.

Quote :

“What’s this? My prized second-in-command about to soil himself like a new hatchling? How pathetic,” Megatron sneered.

See, this is a classic parenting error. You have to be understanding, and assure the child that what happened was an accident, and that it happens to everybody, and it will eventually stop. If you berate the child, it will think that it is doing something wrong, and develop a complex that could potentially take years of therapy and thousands of dollars.

Aren't Transformers built instead of born and raised, anyway?

I hate fanon.

Hawaiian Shirt wrote:

Quote :

“What’s this? My prized second-in-command about to soil himself like a new hatchling? How pathetic,” Megatron sneered.

See, this is a classic parenting error. You have to be understanding, and assure the child that what happened was an accident, and that it happens to everybody, and it will eventually stop. If you berate the child, it will think that it is doing something wrong, and develop a complex that could potentially take years of therapy and thousands of dollars.

Heh. Would it be overdoing it to tell you I love you?

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

Heh. Would it be overdoing it to tell you I love you?

Yes. Keep your Real Life out of my Internets! *shakes fist*

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

Heh. Would it be overdoing it to tell you I love you?

Absolutely not.

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:

Aren't Transformers built instead of born and raised, anyway?

I hate fanon.

The Michael Bay ones are hatched and kind of look like infants when they come out of their bubble of goo. At least that's what it looked like to me in TF2. YMMV, of course.

grmblfjx wrote:

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

Heh. Would it be overdoing it to tell you I love you?

Yes. Keep your Real Life out of my Internets! *shakes fist*

Aww, you do not want to hear about my and HS's forbidden, extra-marital affair? Think of all the ~drama~ The love, the lies, the ramboling suicide notes spammed all over the forum...

Hey, Reep! We're trying to talk about robots pissing themselves here! Keep your kinky love life where it belongs - On the Couch!

The Scientist wrote:

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:

Aren't Transformers built instead of born and raised, anyway?

I hate fanon.

The Michael Bay ones are hatched and kind of look like infants when they come out of their bubble of goo. At least that's what it looked like to me in TF2. YMMV, of course.

This fic exists more to me than TF2 does. YMMV indeed~

I think the problem was Michael Bay has been reading too much slashfic because I swear I saw pissing in bad TF fanfic years before bayformers came out.

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

grmblfjx wrote:

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

Heh. Would it be overdoing it to tell you I love you?

Yes. Keep your Real Life out of my Internets! *shakes fist*

Aww, you do not want to hear about my and HS's forbidden, extra-marital affair? Think of all the ~drama~ The love, the lies, the ramboling suicide notes spammed all over the forum...

Ha. I missed this.

YES YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES