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 The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang

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Chris91
Penguin
I_Lam_Edhellen
Miss Prince
Lady Anne
arachnidsGrip
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arachnidsGrip

arachnidsGrip


Join date : 2011-06-26

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Empty
PostSubject: The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang   The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang EmptyThu Jun 30, 2011 3:04 pm

In a world of un8elieva8ly shitty fanfic and pu8lished text, there is little that readers can pick out and confidently say, "THIS! This is a fucking masterpiece!" Luckily for you, I, a new user to your forum for text-8ased monstrosities, have in my possession just such a work. I can't link to a copy 8ecause there's only one in existence, and it 8elongs to me (yeah!!!!!!!!). 8ut 8eing the nice and generous person that I am, I'm willing to take the time to write out a few excerpts for your reading pleasure. No need to thank me!

(Just kidding. You should totally be thanking me, over and over again, 8ecause you are never going to read anything of this cali8er EVER AGAIN.)

This autobiographical epic tells the tale of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang, the greatest gamblignant to ever sail the sea! The first section I will post details her conquest of a slave girl, using her masterful mental manipul8tion powers:


Quote :
I nod her over. She is fearful and it makes her prettier. He scoffs without a movement or sound. I know there is disgust feeding the shadows in his corner of my 8lock. At least prick her in the light, he surely thinks. Determine what vulgar hue she 8leeds 8efore persisting with your a8asement, Marquise. Do try to understand, Orphaner. Not knowing is the point, and if you truly understood this, your crusade against the Gam8lignants would not 8e among our Grand High8lood's most uproarious punchlines. (If only one truly needed to 8e so high to find it amusing!) And so not knowing, I take her will, 8ut leave enough of it to enjoy her response. Her hands are in my service 8ut they still shake. They unfasten the first 8utton at my jacket's waist, clumsily. I have masked the line 8etween my puppeteering and her volition exquisitely, and her uncertainty over her own control fuels her fear. She unfastens the second 8utton, and 8etween the second and third, I make a casual remark to Dualscar, continuing our convers8tion. He does not respond.

I look again at the face of my slave, imagining for a moment her mind is not an unguarded port to her every dread. I imagine I cannot feel her conviction that it's not merely a matter of whether she will 8e put to the irons, 8ut how hot they will 8e if she fails to please. Poor thing. Her horns make attractive shapes and pair themselves pleasantly amidst her violent snarls of hair. Her fingers, which I have lost track of, to my surprise have come 8etween the petticoat and my skin. The heat of her touch tells me the likely range for the color of her 8lood. I wouldn't have guessed it to look at her, not with her sign stripped. Her mouth opens slightly and I squint. Ah! Razor sharp, and none missing. Perfect. How disappointing it is to find quivering lips hiding dull teeth. I pause to consider. What will her fear 8ecome if I choose to show her mercy later? And even, in days, kindness? Will this 8e the red dalliance that 8ecomes fully flushed? Love demands my cunning just as my raids. If it is to 8e, she will never understand how thoroughly she was manipul8ted, her 8ody, her mind, her devotion.

My favorite thing a8out this passage is how Mindfang doesn't shrink away from descri8ing her red exploits, 8ut she still does it tastefully enough that anyone reading isn't shocked (even if they're totally weakslime or easily offended). Sometimes it's good to leave a little to the imagina8tion! :::: )

This next part comes from after a fight with the legislacerator Redglare, during which she loses an arm and an eye. Tough 8reak, 8ut o8viously she is far too 8adass to let it get her down! She's thrown in prison to aw8 trail, and has allllllll her weapons taken from her. All that they CAN take, that is. :::; )


Quote :
The High8loods surely intended to make a spectacle of my conviction. They filled the court8lock with peasants ravenous for the comeuppance of a 8lue 8lood. I wasn't a8out to deny them what they came for.

It was kind of the authorities to supply me with phalanx of such impressiona8le spect8ors. The weak wills were nearly as thick in the air as the rust in their veins. Funny how my other senses seem to have piqued since exchanging glances with the dragon. What an extraordinary specimen. How I've come to covet the creature since it ruined my fleet. I know too well the whispers of a dangerous new infatu8tion when they 8eckon. 8ut I digress.

It was simple enough to nudge the hostility of the low8loods from one aristocrat to another. The su8juggl8ors could not have 8een pleased, 8ut nor could they have 8een altogether unamused, I would expect. I wonder if this was part of their unfathoma8le game? I'll never understand their riddles.

I only regret I didn't get to hear the opening st8ment the neophyte had prepared against me. The case she compiled from all that evidence she 8urned must have been damning. I 8et her remarks would have stung worse than when she severed my arm. She certainly would have shown me gr8ter mercy 8y taking the other instead!

Alas, I mock to disguise the extent of my regret.

Had my escape not necessit8ed her demise, she would have made a lovely rival. If she'd only discarded her childish preoccup8tion with justice, we might have made a striking scourge. Had we inched 8lacker we'd have torn red miles across the land and sea. Unfortun8ly, the only miles to 8e found through her 8ureaucratic calling were those of red tape. When so ensnared, one is eventually 8ound to 8e choked.

Yeah!!!!!!!!

I would post more, 8ut the awesome in this journal is 8est taken in small doses. For now, you'll have to settle for feasting your eyes on those two selections - and who knows? Maaaaaaaay8e if you 8eg enough, I'll come 8ack to post more! :::: )
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Lady Anne
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
Lady Anne


Join date : 2009-06-12
Age : 47
Location : The land of the fruits and nuts

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang   The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang EmptyThu Jun 30, 2011 7:28 pm

Are you fucking serious?
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http://www.angelfire.com/yt/anneblair/index.html
Miss Prince
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Miss Prince


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 35

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang   The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang EmptyThu Jun 30, 2011 8:10 pm

It's someone roleplaying a Homestuck character. The Tavros one didn't bother me, but this is obnoxious, honestly.
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I_Lam_Edhellen
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
I_Lam_Edhellen


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 37
Location : Orodrim

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang   The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang EmptyThu Jun 30, 2011 9:57 pm

Torog.
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http://www.realelvish.net
arachnidsGrip

arachnidsGrip


Join date : 2011-06-26

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang   The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang EmptySat Jul 02, 2011 2:53 pm

Miss Prince wrote:
The Tavros one didn't bother me, but this is obnoxious, honestly.

You like HIM, but not ME?

F8CK YOU!!!!!!!!
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Penguin
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
Penguin


Join date : 2009-07-18
Location : Wild Gray Yonder

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang   The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang EmptySat Jul 02, 2011 3:03 pm

neg reps
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Lady Anne
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
Lady Anne


Join date : 2009-06-12
Age : 47
Location : The land of the fruits and nuts

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang   The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang EmptySat Jul 02, 2011 9:28 pm

WTF is with all those 8s?
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http://www.angelfire.com/yt/anneblair/index.html
Chris91
Knight of the Bleach
Knight of the Bleach
Chris91


Join date : 2009-06-13
Age : 56
Location : Salem, Mass., USA

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang   The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang EmptyTue Jul 05, 2011 10:07 am

I call troll on this one.
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arachnidsGrip

arachnidsGrip


Join date : 2011-06-26

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang   The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang EmptyTue Jul 05, 2011 11:23 am

Lady Anne wrote:
WTF is with all those 8s?

It's my typing quirk, duh!!!!!!!! What the fuck is with your 8oring 8lack text?

Chris91 wrote:
I call troll on this one.

You're the dum8 one of the group, aren't you. :::\
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grmblfjx
Hot and Botherer
Hot and Botherer
grmblfjx


Join date : 2009-06-10

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang   The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang EmptyTue Jul 05, 2011 11:27 am

arachnidsGrip wrote:
Lady Anne wrote:
WTF is with all those 8s?

It's my typing quirk, duh!!!!!!!! What the fuck is with your 8oring 8lack text?

arachnidsGrip wrote:
F8CK YOU!!!!!!!!

I get that they're supposed to be Bs. Didn't know there was a B in "fuck", though.
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arachnidsGrip

arachnidsGrip


Join date : 2011-06-26

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang   The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang EmptyTue Jul 05, 2011 12:15 pm

So I get annoyed sometimes and add in extra 8s! What of it?
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Penguin
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
Penguin


Join date : 2009-07-18
Location : Wild Gray Yonder

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang   The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang EmptyTue Jul 05, 2011 1:14 pm

Lady Anne wrote:
WTF is with all those 8s?

BECUZ SIPDERS HAV 8 LEGS LOL
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Lapin
Knight of the Bleach
Knight of the Bleach
Lapin


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 35
Location : Maryland

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang   The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang EmptyTue Jul 05, 2011 2:14 pm


Huh.

They even type the same stupid way. So it is you, or are you trolling based on them?
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Penguin
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
Penguin


Join date : 2009-07-18
Location : Wild Gray Yonder

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang   The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang EmptyTue Jul 05, 2011 2:44 pm

On a random note...

...I am being totally, 100%, unquestionably serious here...

ANYONE WHO USES THE NUMBER EIGHT AS A STAND-IN FOR AN "A" MAKING THE "AY" SOUND DESERVES TO BE SHOT

SERIOUSLY

Quote :
manipul8tion
Quote :
convers8tion
Quote :
manipul8ted
Quote :
imagina8tion
Quote :
infatu8tion
Quote :
gr8ter


THIS SHIT MAKES NO SENSE AND YOU DESERVE TO DIE OF AN ESPECIALLY VIRULENT CASE OF HERPES

Quote :
F8CK YOU!!!!!!!!

WHAT THE FUCK

LET'S UPGRADE TO GETTING SHOT IN THE SOLAR PLEXUS AND LEFT UNATTENDED IN A RANDOM GUTTER

And you are busy dying of ebola to begin with.
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Lapin
Knight of the Bleach
Knight of the Bleach
Lapin


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 35
Location : Maryland

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang   The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang EmptyTue Jul 05, 2011 2:50 pm

Penguin wrote:

THIS SHIT MAKES NO SENSE AND YOU DESERVE TO DIE OF AN ESPECIALLY VIRULENT CASE OF HERPES

...Can herpes kill you?

Penguin wrote:
Quote :
F8CK YOU!!!!!!!!

WHAT THE FUCK

LET'S UPGRADE TO GETTING SHOT IN THE SOLAR PLEXUS AND LEFT UNATTENDED IN A RANDOM GUTTER

And you are busy dying of ebola to begin with.

I see your random gutter and raise you a Baltimore gutter in the blue light district. At least your organs go to a good cause.
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Penguin
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
Penguin


Join date : 2009-07-18
Location : Wild Gray Yonder

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang   The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang EmptyTue Jul 05, 2011 3:43 pm

Lapin wrote:
Penguin wrote:

THIS SHIT MAKES NO SENSE AND YOU DESERVE TO DIE OF AN ESPECIALLY VIRULENT CASE OF HERPES

...Can herpes kill you?

Note: "Especially virulent."

Quote :
Penguin wrote:
Quote :
F8CK YOU!!!!!!!!

WHAT THE FUCK

LET'S UPGRADE TO GETTING SHOT IN THE SOLAR PLEXUS AND LEFT UNATTENDED IN A RANDOM GUTTER

And you are busy dying of ebola to begin with.

I see your random gutter and raise you a Baltimore gutter in the blue light district. At least your organs go to a good cause.

No. Organs are useless. Trash. Isolate. Incinerate. Dispose.
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Vanilla-villa
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
Vanilla-villa


Join date : 2010-04-19
Location : England

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang   The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang EmptyTue Jul 05, 2011 4:01 pm

The quality of trolls on this website is terrible.

GR88CE S8CKS

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang 961878
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grmblfjx
Hot and Botherer
Hot and Botherer
grmblfjx


Join date : 2009-06-10

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang   The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang EmptyTue Jul 05, 2011 5:21 pm

Penguin wrote:
On a random note...

...I am being totally, 100%, unquestionably serious here...

ANYONE WHO USES THE NUMBER EIGHT AS A STAND-IN FOR AN "A" MAKING THE "AY" SOUND DESERVES TO BE SHOT

SERIOUSLY

Quote :
manipul8tion


It makes me mad enough when people use it to substitute an "-ate" sound, but I can see how maybe in a text message if you run out of room it might be useful to write "manipul8". But that, there, should be pronounced "maipulateshon" and there is no excuse for it.
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Sheba
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Sheba


Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 36

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang   The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang EmptyTue Jul 05, 2011 10:24 pm

Vanilla-villa wrote:
The quality of trolls on this website is terrible.

GR88CE S8CKS

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang 961878

Grace sacks to you too! The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang 961878
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Chris91
Knight of the Bleach
Knight of the Bleach
Chris91


Join date : 2009-06-13
Age : 56
Location : Salem, Mass., USA

The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang Empty
PostSubject: Re: The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang   The Journal of Marquise Spinneret Mindfang EmptyWed Jul 06, 2011 9:21 am

arachnidsGrip wrote:
You're the dum8 one of the group, aren't you. :::\

Says the guy who's too lazy to find the B key on his computer.
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