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 Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects

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PendragonGirl
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PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Sun Jun 16, 2013 3:50 am

Those kids make Tommy Wiseau look like Meryl Streep. 

I can't wait for this to leak. It's going to be a glorious train-wreck.
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bleachedblackcat
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PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Sun Jun 16, 2013 6:24 pm

OMG

I love the skull spray painted gold. We need a WGW movie night on Skype again just for this.

I feel bad for Gloria right now. She's gone from "I'm young and writing so I am smart!" to "I am not as young and so I have to sexualize myself!" Or I hope to god that she's doing it herself. I really don't want to think about her parents going "Now sweetie we need Maya (who is 15) to be wearing something that show off her boobs more!"
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PendragonGirl
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PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Sun Jun 16, 2013 7:07 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

There's more footage of it here. 

It's... Teschian.
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bleachedblackcat
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PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Sun Jun 16, 2013 7:43 pm

Is the music from Lord of the Rings or Skyrim? I could have sworn that I've heard it before....
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Lady Anne
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PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Sun Jun 16, 2013 10:59 pm

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] She wrote her own biography, and if the quality of her bio is any indication, she writes like a fanbrat who slept through the sentence structure portion of English class. There's nothing in the IMDB listing about her Maradonia film, either as an actress or as a writing credit. The only mention of Maradonia is in her bio. She's been in two short films, both of which sound awful.
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http://www.angelfire.com/yt/anneblair/index.html
ViewSonic
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PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Mon Jun 17, 2013 8:34 am

Has anybody noticed that we're so damn cynical and bitter that we're harping on some poor girl's shitty vanity project written when she was too young to know better?

Let's talk about something more deserving of hatred, like [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]. "NK" Stouffer? Shameless. Absolutely shameless.
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bleachedblackcat
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PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Mon Jun 17, 2013 9:34 am

She's old enough to know better now, and if anything she's gotten more vain about the project. And 'rewritten' the books so she can brag more about her oh so awesome writing. Plus she has a habit of calling anyone who doesn't like her books 'haters' and tries to get their reviews down. Of course we're going to harp on her.
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ViewSonic
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PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Mon Jun 17, 2013 10:38 am

Well, what I meant was, I'm pissed off that this site has no Rah and the Muggles-specific content. 

Seriously, the internet has got to know about the soothing-salt-water-applied-to-third-degree-burns part.
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Reepicheep-chan
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PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Mon Jun 17, 2013 12:31 pm

Well you could start a separate thread for it?
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bleachedblackcat
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PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Tue Jun 18, 2013 12:28 am

I was looking over Amazon at the reviews for her books. Has anyone else noticed her bio?


Quote :
Gloria Tesch is the author of the Maradonia Saga. Gloria began writing her first book at the ripe age of ten and celebrated her thirteenth birthday with the publication of two novels,"Maradonia and the Seven Bridges" and "Maradonia and the Escape from the Underworld." This sweeping epic journey into a fantastical world of magic and power, earned Gloria the distinction of being the world's youngest or one of the youngest published novelists. With fourteen years of age, Gloria published two more novels, "Maradonia and the Gold of Ophir" and "Maradonia and the Dragon Riders". With 15 years she presented her fifth novel: "Maradonia and the Law of Blood" and her sixth novel: "Maradonia and the Battle for the Key" as well as two Movie Screen Plays.

Gloria Tesch was born on April 17, 1994 in San Diego, CA. She is a natural storyteller who crafts her tales, characters and settings with talent.

Everything Gloria writes, glows with imagination and many who read her books believe that Gloria's imagination is never ending.

One of Gloria's friends wrote, "Gloria's novels captivated me from the first page and did not let go until the last. Gloria is so talented that the reader believes everything is possible in the Land of Maradonia. I wonder what kind of literature this 15 year old author will produce in the coming years."

Gloria: "I don't know what the coming years will bring, but I work every day...every weekend... very, very hard, often late in the night... creating characters and writing stories."

With such a young age, Gloria is able to straddle between the world of surreal adventure and the world of page-turning mainstream adventure and connects the ordinary, natural world with the supernatural world with unexpected twists and absolutely surprising results. Gloria is currently writing her next Trilogy of three novels: "Maradonia and the Lost Secret of Kra" as well as "Maradonia and the Unleashed Beast" and "Maradonia and the Curse of Abbadon." She said, "I have a pretty clear concept for at least ten more books of the Maradonia Saga."

Well.... at least in that she admits that she's 'the youngest or one of the youngest?
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PendragonGirl
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PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:30 am

ViewSonic wrote:
Has anybody noticed that we're so damn cynical and bitter that we're harping on some poor girl's shitty vanity project written when she was too young to know better?

Isn't that the whole point of this website?

ETA: Also, she's never been legitimately published, her parents are loaded and started a "publishing house" that prints the Maradonia Saga exclusively. They charge a shitload of cash for the books too (ImpishIdea purchased copies for sporking).
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StandupShady
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PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Thu Jun 20, 2013 3:46 am

I've read conjugalfelicity's sporking of Maradonia and the Seven Bridges where its made explicitly clear that the whole story is a huge bible ripoff - but I had no idea until I saw that absolutely huge preview segment above just HOW MUCH of bible ripoff it is. So the primary antagonist used to serve the King of Light, but then he got ideas above his station due to his pride and intelligence, so the King of Light cast him down? NOT AT ALL LIKE THE FALL OF LUCIFER, GUYS. 

Also, I have no idea why there's like a three minute argument between Maya and Joey about whether Maya saw people in the cave. Why does Joey find it so difficult to believe when they're basically in a public place? Or is it just to signpost Tesch's LEET acting skills?
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Chris91
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PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Thu Jun 20, 2013 2:56 pm

I'm not sure even Gloria knows.
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