Why God, Why?


 
HomeHome  FAQFAQ  RegisterRegister  Log in  

Share | 
 

 Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
Go to page : 1, 2, 3  Next
AuthorMessage
Tungsten Monk
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 29
Location : Cedar Rapids, IA

PostSubject: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Wed Apr 06, 2011 9:13 pm

Okay, I'm honestly surprised that this one hasn't turned up hereabouts yet. (It probably has, but I did a search and couldn't find anything, so mea culpa if this turns out to be a repeat.)

Ladies and gentlemen of WGW, I'd like you to meet [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] and her masterwork, [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

So what? you might say. Self-published kid author, nothing new. However, Gloria and her work merits a closer look. What makes her interesting to the Internet at large is not only the awful quality of her work, but the fact that she appears to have well-moneyed parents who are fully supporting what YouTube critic [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] calls "her literary toilet training." There's a complete website, a [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] a purchased public-access [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] and--my personal favorite--plans for a theme park.

The Tesch clan has also been extremely fierce about shielding Gloria from any negative criticism, blocking and deleting negative reviews on YouTube and DMCAing critical videos despite Fair Use.

I would attempt to snark the forty-page excerpt itself, but frankly, it's already been done by much funnier people than I have. And to be honest, making another sporking of a book that uses apostrophes for emphasis and actually calls the villains The Evil Empire is--in the words of PJ O'Rourke--"like sticking a twelve-gauge shotgun into a goldfish bowl."

Here's the AntiShurtugal sporking of the [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] This poster is not responsible for any brain cells you may lose while reading it.
Back to top Go down
Quijotesca
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
avatar

Join date : 2010-10-01
Age : 35

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Thu Apr 07, 2011 10:57 pm

Thanks for bringing this up. I was sick to day and unable to write much so I spent a lot of the day reading various sporkings of this.

Oh God. I'm so glad self publishing wasn't really a thing when I was a kid. This has elements of stuff I wrote and elements of stuff I'm sure every kid wrote since I can't say I was writing a fantasy epic. She seems old enough now that she'd realize her earlier stuff sucks an yet she's still attempting to launch some kind of media assault.
Back to top Go down
little eldritch

avatar

Join date : 2011-03-18
Age : 24
Location : bavaria yo

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Mon Apr 11, 2011 4:18 pm

So, how much money was lost on all ... this, anyway? It's obvious that nothing related to those books will make any money, how do they compensate those losses? Are her parents oligarchs? scratch
I'm not going to harp on about the quality of the story since, to be fair, my writing at the ripe age of ten wasn't much better (and it's still awful today).
Back to top Go down
http://gene-technology.deviantart.com
TheHedonist
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
avatar

Join date : 2009-10-26
Location : Госпоже Правой Ноге Аниной

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Mon Apr 11, 2011 4:31 pm

I wonder if she realizes how sarcastic her use of airquotes makes the entire thing look?

Quote :
Arabella, one of the spies in the service
of the underworld, was still waiting for her
opportunity to talk to King Apollyon, but the
‘Hoodmen’, the organizers of the meeting, gave
her no chance to talk to him.

Oh, the 'hoodmen'. Pay them no mind, dear, they're just LARPers with inflated senses of self-worth.
Back to top Go down
Exodia's Right Leg
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
Shitgobbling pissdrinker
avatar

Join date : 2009-08-04
Age : 31
Location : Niggertown, HUAHUEHUAland

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Wed Apr 13, 2011 11:59 am

When I see the name "The Maradonia Saga", I think of this guy.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Back to top Go down
Verandering
The Gender Offender
The Gender Offender
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-04
Location : Colorado

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Wed Apr 13, 2011 6:07 pm

This is my favourite picture in the whole world.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Back to top Go down
Tungsten Monk
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 29
Location : Cedar Rapids, IA

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Wed Apr 13, 2011 6:15 pm

Verandering wrote:
This is my favourite picture in the whole world.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Careful, Liberty Media might issue a takedown notice for your blatant exploitation of their intellectual property . . .
Back to top Go down
Verandering
The Gender Offender
The Gender Offender
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-04
Location : Colorado

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Wed Apr 13, 2011 6:35 pm

But I love Gloria Tesch's success!
Back to top Go down
Chris91
Knight of the Bleach
Knight of the Bleach
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-13
Age : 50
Location : Salem, Mass., USA

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Mon May 23, 2011 12:00 pm

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:
When I see the name "The Maradonia Saga", I think of this guy.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]


GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL!!!


(Sorry, I couldn't resist. )


Last edited by Chris91 on Mon May 23, 2011 12:06 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Original post took up too much space)
Back to top Go down
Soylent Green
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-13

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Mon May 23, 2011 5:55 pm

Oh, man. I'm reading through the fine sporkings [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]. I almost want to read it because I can't believe someone would actually want this stuff in print. The fact that it's self-published makes me feel a little bit better. Still...I am embarrassed to even think about what I thought was great writing in high school. I can't imagine having it exist for other people to see.
Back to top Go down
StillScreaming



Join date : 2010-03-07

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Wed Jun 01, 2011 9:43 am

As a heads up

There's a lot of discussion (or there has been) about said books [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.], although it was primarily for laughing at Eragon.


But yes, Tesch is pretty much fucking nuts.
Back to top Go down
Reepicheep-chan
Important Person
Important Person
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 32
Location : IN A SEXY NEW CONDO

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Mon Jun 20, 2011 9:17 am

Maradonia™ and the Seven Bridges wrote:
When Maya was four years old she started painting huge oil paintings and worked with water colors. With eight years, she had her first exhibition in form of an article in the ‘National Journal of Art’ with an interview and six of her best pictures (page 12).

Am I the only one who thinks letting your 4-year-old use oil paints is sort of irresponsible? I mean, if you want to off your child and make it look like an accident of exceptionally bad parenting there are probably cheaper way to go about it than letting them paint on 'huge' canvases with highly toxic and (extremely expensive) paint.
Back to top Go down
Nevvy
Sporkbender
Sporkbender


Join date : 2009-06-30

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Mon Jun 20, 2011 9:31 am

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

Am I the only one who thinks letting your 4-year-old use oil paints is sort of irresponsible? I mean, if you want to off your child and make it look like an accident of exceptionally bad parenting there are probably cheaper way to go about it than letting them paint on 'huge' canvases with highly toxic and (extremely expensive) paint.

Not only is it toxic, cloth with oil paint on can spontaneously catch fire up until the paint is completely dry - which takes six months. Sooo many chances at lethal injury, so little time...
Back to top Go down
Mikey Go WOOGA
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-16
Age : 28
Location : In desperate pursuit of lulz.

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Mon Jun 20, 2011 12:21 pm

Exodia's Right Leg wrote:
When I see the name "The Maradonia Saga", I think of this guy.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

You're not the only one. I read the title and thought "Oh PLEASE be about that cracked up lunatic." I'm convinced that there is nothing funnier than a theoretical Maradona Saga.

And I don't even like divegrass.
Back to top Go down
Chris91
Knight of the Bleach
Knight of the Bleach
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-13
Age : 50
Location : Salem, Mass., USA

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Mon Jun 20, 2011 2:08 pm

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:
Exodia's Right Leg wrote:
When I see the name "The Maradonia Saga", I think of this guy.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

You're not the only one. I read the title and thought "Oh PLEASE be about that cracked up lunatic." I'm convinced that there is nothing funnier than a theoretical Maradona Saga.

And I don't even like divegrass.

The correct term is "soccer", Mikey. Even a brain-dead Rangers fan like you should know that. Razz Trollface
Back to top Go down
Penguin
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
NO NOT THE BEEEEES
avatar

Join date : 2009-07-18
Location : Wild Gray Yonder

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Mon Jun 20, 2011 5:14 pm

Chris91 wrote:
Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:
And I don't even like divegrass.

The correct term is "soccer", Mikey.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
Back to top Go down
StandupShady
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
avatar

Join date : 2011-03-13

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Tue Jun 21, 2011 9:55 am

Verandering wrote:
This is my favourite picture in the whole world.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Impressive, her book manages to be the first, second and third most popular ALL AT ONCE.

If that doesn't tell you everything you need to know about Gloria Tesch's ego, nothing will.
Back to top Go down
Quijotesca
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
avatar

Join date : 2010-10-01
Age : 35

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Sat Jun 25, 2011 10:45 am

Soylent Green wrote:
Oh, man. I'm reading through the fine sporkings [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.].
This Account Has Been Suspended


Did the author throw a hissy fit?

Edit:Nope, wasn't her. [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] says it's the author of Latawnya the Naughty Horse causing problems.


Last edited by Quijotesca on Sat Jun 25, 2011 5:10 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Answering my own question)
Back to top Go down
Chris91
Knight of the Bleach
Knight of the Bleach
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-13
Age : 50
Location : Salem, Mass., USA

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Sat Jun 25, 2011 6:23 pm

Still, would anyone have really been surprised if Gloria had turned out to be the culprit?
Back to top Go down
bleachedblackcat
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
Armbiter of Good Fanfiction
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-11

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Sat Jun 25, 2011 6:35 pm

Isn't it suprising how many people are willing to throw screaming fits over what one little person on the internet thinks of them/their books. Hell, if I ever got published I kind of wish that one of my books would be bad enough to get someone to do a page by page review of it. No one with a good book gets that sort of thing.
Back to top Go down
Quijotesca
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
avatar

Join date : 2010-10-01
Age : 35

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Sat Jun 25, 2011 10:07 pm

Chris91 wrote:
Still, would anyone have really been surprised if Gloria had turned out to be the culprit?
I'm pretty surprised it wasn't her.

Someone who has something to say about it needs to make a Latawnya the Naughty Horse thread. I don't actually remember much about it, but this latest development is hilarious. The author's also filing a lawsuit against Amazon.com, Wikipedia, and Urban Dictionary. Yeah.
Back to top Go down
EileenK98
Recovering Fanbrat
Recovering Fanbrat
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-10
Age : 49
Location : very, very close to Chris

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Sun Jun 26, 2011 6:55 am

There was a Youtube video, wasn't there?

*goes to check*

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Back to top Go down
grmblfjx
Hot and Botherer
Hot and Botherer
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-10

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Sun Jun 26, 2011 7:28 am

Quijotesca wrote:
it's the author of Latawnya the Naughty Horse causing problems.

That doesn't surprise me in the least, actually. I mean, come on.


e: count me in with the people thinking this might be about Maradona; he's certainly vain enough for vanity projects. Although this is good, too.

ee: Mikey, there's a robot soccer league, and I recently had the priviledge of watching a Friendly, live. Guess what they do? They fall over a lot.
Back to top Go down
Reepicheep-chan
Important Person
Important Person
avatar

Join date : 2009-06-11
Age : 32
Location : IN A SEXY NEW CONDO

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Mon Jun 27, 2011 9:57 am

Quijotesca wrote:
Someone who has something to say about it needs to make a Latawnya the Naughty Horse thread. I don't actually remember much about it, but this latest development is hilarious. The author's also filing a lawsuit against Amazon.com, Wikipedia, and Urban Dictionary. Yeah.

I want to say we already have one, but that was probably an older board.

A shame the author is a total jerk, I want to like her just due to the sheer undiluted crazy of horses smoking pot in a children's book.
Back to top Go down
Quijotesca
Sporkbender
Sporkbender
avatar

Join date : 2010-10-01
Age : 35

PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   Sun Jul 03, 2011 8:51 pm

Well, I wasn't able to find a thread for it when I searched.

Anyway, stupid question: Do Maya and Joey have last names? I can't seem to figure that out.

Answering my own question: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] God that took too much digging. I expected it to be in the first book but it didn't come up until chapter 14 of the second one.
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects   

Back to top Go down
 
Maradonia and the Seven Vanity Projects
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 3Go to page : 1, 2, 3  Next
 Similar topics
-
» my turn for vanity plate help
» Vanity Fair Party 27 Feb 2011
» Answers (TJA Projects)
» Vanity Fair Hollywood edition 2014
» Vanity plate help

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Why God, Why? :: The Sporking Table :: New Releases-
Jump to: