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 Inception: Demonic Possession, Racism, and Handicapable Love

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textrix

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PostSubject: Inception: Demonic Possession, Racism, and Handicapable Love   Wed Mar 09, 2011 7:08 pm

Long time reader, first time snarker. Sorry if my snark is too long, I just got excited. I present, for your entertainment, "Arianne's Inception." You can find it on FF. And no, not a misspelling of Ariadne--because I know that's what you were thinking. If there's one thing this author excels in, it's the ability to go against what you might be thinking. What anyone might be thinking. What the confines of logical and rational thought processes should dictate. Notice I said "should."

It begins subtly enough:
Quote :
Cobb, Ariadne, and Yusuf sat...waiting for Arthur and Eames to come, to show their "discovery".
No, no, again, it's not what you think (unfortunately). Would this author be so cliche as to write an Arthur/Eames slash? Please. I also love the use of bunny-quotes where they don't belong, but clearly the author is being witty.

Eames and Arthur come in, carrying a "writhing, bucking thing."
Quote :
It was dark, black, a person, and its legs and hands were tied. Muffled growls came from the human, due to the gag in its mouth.
It was dark, black, a person...
It was dark, black, a person...
It was dark, black, a person...
It was dark, black, a person...
It was dark, black, a person...
It was dark, black, a person...
It was dark, black, a person...
Also, maybe in a sci-fi fic, describing someone as "human" would make sense. But here it just sounds.....stupid.
Then again, that's probably because it is stupid.

Quote :
The girl then reared up, like a snake, onto her knees, and carefully tried chewing the gag off.
You really wouldn't guess this--but this is actually the MarySue of the fic. There's nothing sexier than trying to chew the gag off, I find.

Quote :
She was on her back, worming her way along on her elbows. Eames was slowly wheeling away, but that just made the girl madder. She growled, and then weaved her way towards him some more.
Exorcist undertones, much? Also, try to actually picture this without laughing.

Quote :
All of a sudden, Eames stopped, frozen for once, even his damned British mouth...
even his damned British mouth. Zing. Hey, not every author can withhold their racist prejudices. Happens to the best of us.
Quote :
...but then he said "Damn, you, you don't have any legs!"
Shocked............. So let's rewind a bit, for those of you who might have missed these wild inferences:
Quote :
The girl then reared up, like a snake, onto her knees
So you're telling me she was standing on her stumps? No, she reared up onto her stumps. From the floor. But even better:
Quote :
its legs and hands were tied
THEY TIED THE STUMPS TOGETHER? What kind of SICK BASTARD does that? If she can't freaking walk, what are you doing, trying to psychologically scar the shit out of her? "Har har, little one, you'll never run away now! Oh wait....Bahahaha."

Quote :
she sighed, and fell back against the cement floor. "Lars…" she whispered weakly. "No, no, no, I was the only thing he had left, no, no, no, no, NO!" Her hoarse whisper had built into a yell again.
Okay now I'm starting to suspect a troll. I get it though. She's an architect, so depicting the transition between her whisper and her scream in architectural imagery is sort of clever. Right? No? I mean the tenses are totally fucked, and it makes no goddamn sense. But she's trying, is my point.

Cobb infers that she's an architect, forger, and an extractor. Because omnipotence really makes for the best kind of tension. He then asks her how she is able to detect that she is in a dream:
Quote :
"Well, you know electrons?" She asked him


Quote :
"I can hear them; can hear them dance in the air. Only in my dreams and the real world can I hear them. Like when the TV's on, I can hear them hum even louder than normal, so I'll know it's on."
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
ONLY in dreams AND the real world. So just exactly HOW can you tell you're in a dream again, Mary-Sue? The voices tell you so? Also, she can hear that the TV's on, so she'll know it's on. Architect, forger, extractor, mystic extraordinaire--all with a mind like Sherlock Holmes.

Quote :
He swept her hood back, letting a long sheet of chocolate brown hair ripple down to her waist.
This made me hungry for some reason.

The group debates letting her onto the team:
Quote :
"Well, she's pretty first of all." Cobb blurted out. "I noticed, from what she told us, that she's a forger, and extractor, and an architect." Cobb quickly changed the subject.
Yes, because bashful, romantic, and into 15 year-old girls--THAT'S the Dominic Cobb we all remember.

Quote :
all of a sudden, Ari's voice spoke up from behind them: "I can be a totem."


They decide to test her. In the dreamscape we get extremely vivid, not to mention logical descriptions, along the lines of this:
Quote :
It stayed like that for a few minutes, Ari breathing through her nose, Dom's pants soaking in the water, and the wheelchair bobbing out to sea.
She then turns into a shark, a dolphin. Her mother appears Mal-style and tells Arianne that she isn't actually her mother and that, incidentally, Arianne has murdered her own father. The usual. Arianne and Cobb bond over their painful memories:
Quote :
"it's like I can't feel them, with my fingers, or have the sensation of them pumping beneath me…" she trailed off.
Yeah, she's talking about her legs, sickos. And so we end where we began (well the story actually goes on, but how much do you expect me to take), with a sexual innuendo that the writer was too naive to intend, which probably would have made for a better story.

But you will never have the intervening time back.
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kleine_kat
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PostSubject: Re: Inception: Demonic Possession, Racism, and Handicapable Love   Thu Mar 10, 2011 3:30 am

Sounds kind of like the author ripped Detta Holmes/Suzannah from the Dark Tower and misplaced her in this fic.

(ponders) Now THAT would be a cool crossover!

Thanks for the snark Smile
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Adagio
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PostSubject: Re: Inception: Demonic Possession, Racism, and Handicapable Love   Thu Mar 10, 2011 9:58 am

How did they not notice she had no legs if they (somehow) tied them together? scratch

Good job on the snark, by the way. I lol'd.
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PostSubject: Re: Inception: Demonic Possession, Racism, and Handicapable Love   Thu Mar 10, 2011 8:27 pm

This entire story. What.
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The Scientist
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PostSubject: Re: Inception: Demonic Possession, Racism, and Handicapable Love   Fri Mar 11, 2011 9:03 am

kleine_kat wrote:
Sounds kind of like the author ripped Detta Holmes/Suzannah from the Dark Tower and misplaced her in this fic.

(ponders) Now THAT would be a cool crossover!

Thanks for the snark Smile

I was thinking the exact same thing!

"Detta, dat you?

"Dat me, honkey mahfah, shoa!"

So...where's Roland? Or better, leave him, unless they try to turn him into a moronic paedophile, as well.

Poor Dom.

Maybe, when they tied her legs, she wasn't Detta at all, but Mia? Chick might be a monster-bearing sicko deamon, but she got them legs, shoa.
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Sheba
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PostSubject: Re: Inception: Demonic Possession, Racism, and Handicapable Love   Sun Mar 13, 2011 4:18 pm

She find her a totem forspecial an den break dat sumbitch.

Echoing what others said re3: the fic. One can only wonder what medications the author started (or stopped) taking...
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The Scientist
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PostSubject: Re: Inception: Demonic Possession, Racism, and Handicapable Love   Mon Mar 14, 2011 4:44 am

Is it Maturin? It has to be Maturin. That would totally be my token. Forspecial, shoa!
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textrix

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PostSubject: Re: Inception: Demonic Possession, Racism, and Handicapable Love   Tue Mar 15, 2011 3:19 pm

Adagio wrote:
How did they not notice she had no legs if they (somehow) tied them together?

Gahhhh I didn't even consider that. Eames/Arthur are also carrying her in, which means that SOMEONE is actually HOLDING her stumps.

This has to be a joke, right?
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PostSubject: Re: Inception: Demonic Possession, Racism, and Handicapable Love   Tue Mar 22, 2011 12:30 am

Ohmygod WHAT IS THIS. I just...gah don't even.

Great snark though!
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The Scientist
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PostSubject: Re: Inception: Demonic Possession, Racism, and Handicapable Love   Tue Mar 22, 2011 1:00 am

But she did get the idea from The Dark Tower, right? I mean, no way in hell someone like this comes up with a Susannah/Detta rip-off all on their own, right?

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textrix

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PostSubject: Re: Inception: Demonic Possession, Racism, and Handicapable Love   Wed Mar 23, 2011 9:26 am

Quote :
But she did get the idea from The Dark Tower, right?
I'm not familiar with those stories, so I honestly have no idea. I can barely tell what's going on in the first place. But I get the feeling that we are dealing with a special kind of fail here. It wouldn't be surprising to me if she came up with this magic all on her own. No

But hmm, more chapters are up. Maybe you'd have a better idea if you read those?

.....I just threw you under the bus didn't I?
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PostSubject: Re: Inception: Demonic Possession, Racism, and Handicapable Love   Thu Mar 24, 2011 7:56 am

Gah, the last books are the best!!!!

Anyway, it isn't relevant to the plot if she still has her knees, but I don't think she does.

If the similarities are a coincidence, then that's one hell of a coincidence.

Poor Stephen King. His awesome characters do not deserve the hate.

I'm not sure I want to read any more of this, but like Mark reading Twilight, I am intrigued.
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textrix

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PostSubject: Re: Inception: Demonic Possession, Racism, and Handicapable Love   Sat Mar 26, 2011 10:08 am

The Scientist wrote:
If the similarities are a coincidence, then that's one hell of a coincidence.
I left a review asking the author this (because I thought it best to go back to the source), but so far, no response.

From what I've quickly googled about Dark Tower, it does seem too much alike. So, is this a troll? Was this fic supposed to be funny? In the later chapters, the character seems more straight--no outbursts or anything.

But then again, maybe we're trying to read meaning in chaos. And that will only make us crazy. Err, crazier (you have to be a little off to deliberately subject yourself to stuff like this).


Last edited by textrix on Sat Mar 26, 2011 10:08 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : because i'm an idiot)
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Lapin
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PostSubject: Re: Inception: Demonic Possession, Racism, and Handicapable Love   Sun Mar 27, 2011 10:31 pm

Dramatic, incoherent, inexplicable entrance: Check
Rambling that only they understand : Check
Use of unnecessary adjectives: Check
Every main character, despite being massively cooler, focused on her: Check
Being more talented (Illogically) than everyone else: Check
A main character's name spelled wrong: Check
Boring me to tears: Check.

Yep. That's a Sue. And not even a very good Sue. Where's the pink hair, the piercings, the tattoos, the mocking? Oh, oh, I see, you're going for the "Totally-Not-A-Sue" Angle. You're also going for the "Stole-Someone-Else's-Book-And-Hope-I-Don't-Get-Busted" ala CC.

The British thing kind of irritates me. Do the British have the monopoly on mocking humor? I would think that was the French. At least she didn't say "British accent".
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The Scientist
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PostSubject: Re: Inception: Demonic Possession, Racism, and Handicapable Love   Mon Mar 28, 2011 5:23 am

textrix wrote:
The Scientist wrote:
If the similarities are a coincidence, then that's one hell of a coincidence.
I left a review asking the author this (because I thought it best to go back to the source), but so far, no response.

From what I've quickly googled about Dark Tower, it does seem too much alike. So, is this a troll? Was this fic supposed to be funny? In the later chapters, the character seems more straight--no outbursts or anything.

But then again, maybe we're trying to read meaning in chaos. And that will only make us crazy. Err, crazier (you have to be a little off to deliberately subject yourself to stuff like this).

I hope to all the gods that this is indeed a troll. Just think about it: if this is deliberately modelled after The Dark Tower, and it is meant to be serious, then.... oh boy, poor Stephen King. He does not deserve such moronic readers who can't even begin to grasp the genius of the Dark Tower cycle.

I'll just dismiss the possibility that this person didn't model her Sue after Susannah Dean. What are the odds of them inventing something so fucking similar?
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