Burden of Faith - Prolife Thriller

I'm not going to be able to snark much because the whole concept just confuses me, but you can read the whole book online. (anonymizer link since this is just on somebody's home page) And oh look, I just found one of those fangirl style trailers on YouTube.



Let's look at the summary.

Quote :

Haunted by her rape and seeming rejection by God, the deeply religious Maria Vargas seeks absolution and a back door into heaven by rescuing an unborn child in this moving tale of love, loss, tragedy and renewal. Following a disturbing sexual encounter, Kat Reed, Maria's skeptical sister of the heart, becomes pregnant and in mortal danger from Tio, the malevolent biological father who will stop at nothing to keep his career-ending perversion from discovery.

Career ending perversion? That's a strange euphemism. Now look at this disclaimer.

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Mature Content: Language, intense violence and sensual conduct, suitable for sexually active aged teens and broad-minded adults.

What does that even mean? "Sexually active aged teens?" Um. And "broad minded adults" seems to imply that the terrible shit that happens in this book is something people should just accept.

The first couple of paragraphs are just so full of urple

Quote :

God was not in His heaven that warm summer night, as the freight train lurched up the grade toward the sleepy Texas town of Bandera. If He had been, surely He would have let Death sleep. Unfortunately, the staccato shock of couplings reaching their limit awoke Death.

Death was alone that night, which was usual for this backwater run, meandering west through San Antonio to nowhere in particular. Nocturnal travelers had long ago learned there was nothing gained, and everything to lose in the company of creatures such as Death.

Placing his tattooed shoulder against the frame, Death forced the heavy door open just as the lights of Bandera snaked into view. As the freight entered the town, clattering through one squalid neighborhood after another, Death waited patiently in the shadows nursing his bottle. Finally, taking a long last swig, he grabbed the doorframe and swung his powerful body out into the wind. Landing hard on loose gravel, Death fell cursing, onto the roadbed as the train rolled on unconcerned into the night.

The trip from Huntsville Prison to the park in Bandera had taken most of the day. As Death rose, checking the switchblade in his boot, food weighed heavily on his mind. Drawn by the prospect of a hot meal, Death shuffled off through the trees.

That's some mighty Christian imagery right there.

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Bandera’s park ran along the Medina River between the rail line and the town. Although otherwise unremarkable, the park contained one extraordinary jewel. Nestled within it, lay a crescent shaped pond embracing a narrow passage, along which the two now walked.

Ponds get me all hot and horny.

Then it's just more urple with gratuitous Spanish thrown in so you know these people are Latino. And then Death pops up. I just do not fucking get this. When I skimmed it before, I thought Death was some sort of metaphor, but the assailant is never identified as anything but "Death." And...Holy crap, it better not be Death of the Endless. I'm just gonna post the last paragraph of the assault:

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Death grabbed her pubic hair and held her in place. Resigned to her fate, Maria awaited the inevitable penetration. Suddenly, an unspeakable horror overwhelmed her, as Death, thrust his knife into her vagina and savagely cut her. With searing pain coursing through her body, Maria screamed in tortured agony and collapsed.

Broad minded adults should think this is awesome.

I really don't want to get into much more, but Maria gets pregnant but she's told she'll die if she gets pregnant, so she aborts. Then the story cuts to someone else who's pregnant and escaping a scary boyfriend. They meet and go on magical girl style adventures! No, wait, there's soap boxing, courtesy of NPR.

Quote :

Moments later, however, or were they hours? Amy could not be sure. Unwelcome voices began to insinuate their rhythm into her reverie as the familiar strains of National Public Radio’s “All Things Considered” reached out to her.
[..]
“It sounds like you’re solidly pro-life.”

“Everyone’s pro-life. It’s in our nature.”

“I take it then that you don’t believe in abortion either?”

“I view abortion in the same way I view a gun. Having one available may be an unfortunate necessity, but you had better know your heart before you use it. The damage it causes can’t be taken back, and will haunt you the rest of your life.”

Copying and pasting transcripts is some creative genius.

Yeah, I'm done here. Sorry about all the emoticons. I'm just trying to cope with the awful. Aw, I never even used this one.

Quote :

Tio, the malevolent biological father

Now, I admit that my Spanish is virtually nonexistant, but doesn't that mean uncle? Is that actually a given name, or is this literally about a woman being raped by her uncle?

Quijotesca wrote:

The first couple of paragraphs are just so full of urple

Uh, don't you mean "purple"?

myeerah wrote:

Quote :

Tio, the malevolent biological father

Now, I admit that my Spanish is virtually nonexistant, but doesn't that mean uncle? Is that actually a given name, or is this literally about a woman being raped by her uncle?

Father-Uncle.

This book seems to made of sadness.
I'm disturbed by the disclaimer more than I can express in words.

myeerah wrote:

Now, I admit that my Spanish is virtually nonexistant, but doesn't that mean uncle? Is that actually a given name, or is this literally about a woman being raped by her uncle?

Judging by the awful trailer thing, it's supposed to be a name.

I didn't even notice the disclaimer mentions "sensual conduct." Is that what that Death rape stuff was supposed to be?

Quote :

“Because my little Señorita, you’re so easy.”
“Please Señor, stop!”
“Un momento, por favor.”

Alright alright, they're Latino, we get it already.

Quote :

thrust his knife into her vagina and savagely cut her.

The first time I read that I didn't notice that 'knife' was a metaphor for a penis. I thought he really stabbed her in the vagina with a knife and was surprised to see that she wasn't dead in the next chapter.

I consider myself a broad-minded adult and there is nothing suitable about this content. I mean, Death raping some poor girl? I'm surprised he didn't invite the rest of the Horsemen to join in the orgy. I imagine War, Pestilence and Famine don't get a whole lot of sexxing.

Also, am I a totally bad person for looking at the cover for the fangirl made video trailer and assuming it was about a Lesbian couple?

Holy crap, I missed the worst passage of this.

Quote :

“Of a sin and being a sin are two very different things. While the Church recognizes rape as a sin, a child conceived in rape is just as innocent, just as precious as any other child. In deciding to abort . . . to kill your baby, you have committed a sin more grievous than that of the rapist.”

Bolding mine. Jesus fucking Christ. There aren't enough swear words in the world.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Also, am I a totally bad person for looking at the cover for the fangirl made video trailer and assuming it was about a Lesbian couple?

You're certainly not the only person who thought that.

Yeah, I thought it was going to be about lesbian nuns who raise an immaculately conceived baby. That could actually be a cute story.

villainy wrote:

Yeah, I thought it was going to be about lesbian nuns who raise an immaculately conceived baby. That could actually be a cute story.

Sort of like "Agnes of God,' but with more sex and less infanticide.

Ugh, all the exclamation marks in that trailer hurt my soul. (Is it bad that I found the subject matter laughably horrendous, but finally had to stop watching because of the terrible punctuation?)

Incidentally, in Spain "tío" is a casual way of referring to another person (as well as meaning 'uncle'). So basically the antagonist is named Dude.

Dude & Death's Awesome Adventure!

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Career ending perversion? That's a strange euphemism.

Especially when you consider it's DEATH we're talking about. The only thing that might qualify as a career-ending perversion would be if he were to suddenly start resurrecting the dead and apologizing to them for offing them in the first place.

That quote's supposed to be about Dude, not Death. Not that I understand it any better.

Quijotesca wrote:

Dude & Death's Awesome Adventure!

villainy wrote:

Yeah, I thought it was going to be about lesbian nuns who raise an immaculately conceived baby.

I really wish that either of these were the plot, because they both sound ridiculously awesome, esp. compared to the actual material.

Like this part, where Maria has tried to kill herself--

Quote :

In the beginning, there was nothing, merely emptiness, cold, dark . . . and deadly. The bitter gloom swirling about Maria, bathed her in a gray hopeless despair, and so she slept. In time, however, the vivid hues of faith weaved themselves back into her dreams, softening her furrowed brow, relaxing her angry fists. Then, as the warmth of God’s love entered her, healing her, making all things new, she awakened in the light.

Grace thus came to Maria as she slept, infusing within her a peace transcending all sin.

Maria was . . . reborn!

IT SOUNDS LIKE A SUPER HERO ORIGIN STORY

Max III wrote:

Like this part, where Maria has tried to kill herself--

Quote :

In the beginning, there was nothing, merely emptiness, cold, dark . . . and deadly. The bitter gloom swirling about Maria, bathed her in a gray hopeless despair, and so she slept. In time, however, the vivid hues of faith weaved themselves back into her dreams, softening her furrowed brow, relaxing her angry fists. Then, as the warmth of God’s love entered her, healing her, making all things new, she awakened in the light.

Grace thus came to Maria as she slept, infusing within her a peace transcending all sin.

Maria was . . . reborn!

IT SOUNDS LIKE A SUPER HERO ORIGIN STORY

With the general tone and terms like "entered her" and "came"...


It sounds like purple-prose soft porn.

"The things you say, your purple prose just gives you away...."

Max III wrote:

Quijotesca wrote:

Dude & Death's Awesome Adventure!

villainy wrote:

Yeah, I thought it was going to be about lesbian nuns who raise an immaculately conceived baby.

I really wish that either of these were the plot, because they both sound ridiculously awesome, esp. compared to the actual material.

Like this part, where Maria has tried to kill herself--

Quote :

In the beginning, there was nothing, merely emptiness, cold, dark . . . and deadly. The bitter gloom swirling about Maria, bathed her in a gray hopeless despair, and so she slept. In time, however, the vivid hues of faith weaved themselves back into her dreams, softening her furrowed brow, relaxing her angry fists. Then, as the warmth of God’s love entered her, healing her, making all things new, she awakened in the light.

Grace thus came to Maria as she slept, infusing within her a peace transcending all sin.

Maria was . . . reborn!

IT SOUNDS LIKE A SUPER HERO ORIGIN STORY

If you're familiar with religious imagery concerning salvation, you'd understand that the whole 'warmth of God's love entering her' is meant metaphorically, not literally. As is her being reborn (born again in Christ's image).

But yeah, I can definitely see how if you weren't familiar with the symbolism you'd read it as bad porn. I grew up listening to this sort of stuff in church, and I'm still occasionally amazed that it took me so long to realize how dirty it must sound to someone who's not a regular church-goer.

I actually am very familiar with religious imagery, both concerning salvation and otherwise, and I still stand by my belief that it sounds like a super hero origin story.

Or, you know, that other person's idea that it sounded like bad porn. Because uhhh I am pretty sure that even the porniest parts of the bible are better written than this

Max III wrote:

I actually am very familiar with religious imagery, both concerning salvation and otherwise, and I still stand by my belief that it sounds like a super hero origin story.

Or, you know, that other person's idea that it sounded like bad porn. Because uhhh I am pretty sure that even the porniest parts of the bible are better written than this

Definitely. The Song of Solomon (or Song of Songs), which is probably one of the most explicit books in the Bible, being written from alternating POVs of a young man and his betrothed, covering their relationship from courtship to consumation, is way better written than this. And with the added bonus of no purple prose (unless you count him comparing her breasts to twin roes, which, for all I know, may have been a legitimate way of referring to your beloved's breasts back then).

Though even then, a lot of religions insist on it being an allegory of God's love towards his children (that being the Jews), or Christ's love towards his followers (despite the fact it's an Old Testament book). Conveniently ignoring that a good portion of the imagery in it is definitely of a sexual nature.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Max III wrote:

I actually am very familiar with religious imagery, both concerning salvation and otherwise, and I still stand by my belief that it sounds like a super hero origin story.

Or, you know, that other person's idea that it sounded like bad porn. Because uhhh I am pretty sure that even the porniest parts of the bible are better written than this

Definitely. The Song of Solomon (or Song of Songs), which is probably one of the most explicit books in the Bible, being written from alternating POVs of a young man and his betrothed, covering their relationship from courtship to consumation, is way better written than this. And with the added bonus of no purple prose (unless you count him comparing her breasts to twin roes, which, for all I know, may have been a legitimate way of referring to your beloved's breasts back then).

Though even then, a lot of religions insist on it being an allegory of God's love towards his children (that being the Jews), or Christ's love towards his followers (despite the fact it's an Old Testament book). Conveniently ignoring that a good portion of the imagery in it is definitely of a sexual nature.

Yeah, doe-boobs are better than death-rape. Though I suppose a lot of the Old Testament reads a bit like a badfic. Lot's Daughters! David and Bathsheba! And if you're going by Jewish folk tales, you have all the drama with Lilith.

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I really don't want to get into much more, but Maria gets pregnant but she's told she'll die if she gets pregnant, so she aborts.

That slut! Doesn't she know that she must have the baby and that the doctors are just telling her this so that they can get the dirty abortion money?

Quote :

Quote :

thrust his knife into her vagina and savagely cut her.

The first time I read that I didn't notice that 'knife' was a metaphor for a penis. I thought he really stabbed her in the vagina with a knife and was surprised to see that she wasn't dead in the next chapter.

I read it the same way, my face was stuck on horror until one of my roomies read it over and decided he wasn't really stabbing her.

Edit: Just started reading the story and he was cutting her. I do have to give props to the writer for making something so horrible happen in their story.

As time allows, I will try to address some of your questions and concerns with Burden of Faith.

For those unaware, there is a free eBook version of the novel posted at:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

As always, it should prove helpful for contributors to actually read the book prior to contributing a question/concern. In doing so, many issues will hopefully resolve themselves.

As we begin, please remember that Burden of Faith is primarily a pro-life novel, and only secondarily a religious one.

Thank you for your questions.