Man Dies In Illegal Cockfight

Intentionally.

Long Beach Press-Telegram wrote:

DELANO - A man who was at an illegal cockfight in central California died after being stabbed in the leg by a bird that had a knife attached to its own limb, officials confirmed Monday.

Jose Luis Ochoa, 35, of Lamont, California, was declared dead at a hospital about two hours after he was injured in neighboring Tulare County on Jan. 30, the Kern County coroner said.

An autopsy concluded Ochoa died of an accidental "sharp force injury" to his right calf.

So basically: In Soviet Russia Delano, CA, meat murders you.

Freezer wrote:

Intentionally.

Long Beach Press-Telegram wrote:

DELANO - A man who was at an illegal cockfight in central California died after being stabbed in the leg by a bird that had a knife attached to its own limb, officials confirmed Monday.

Jose Luis Ochoa, 35, of Lamont, California, was declared dead at a hospital about two hours after he was injured in neighboring Tulare County on Jan. 30, the Kern County coroner said.

An autopsy concluded Ochoa died of an accidental "sharp force injury" to his right calf.

So basically: In Soviet Russia Delano, CA, meat murders you.

I need a movie title for this, because I already thought of a catchphrase. "This summer, the cock will fight back". It'll be a b-movie about a mutant chicken, or maybe zombie chicken, taking down members of a cock-fighting ring one by one.

Knight wrote:

"This summer, the cock will fight back". It'll be a b-movie about a mutant chicken, or maybe zombie chicken, taking down members of a cock-fighting ring one by one.

Someone needs to write this as a fic.

Surely the only thing that's godawful about this is that there was a cockfight.


What I want to know is how in the world you can die from an accidental cut to the calf. Normally the spot to bleed out from is the main artery on the inside of your thigh. Did he sit in a bathtub for an hour? Sudden-onset necrosis and sepsis? What?

rae wrote:

Knight wrote:

"This summer, the cock will fight back". It'll be a b-movie about a mutant chicken, or maybe zombie chicken, taking down members of a cock-fighting ring one by one.

Someone needs to write this as a fic.

Thought of the perfect b-movie name for it: Cock-a-doodle-DEAD!

Rock-A-Doodle 2: The Wrath of Chanticleer

grmblfjx wrote:

Surely the only thing that's godawful about this is that there was a cockfight.


What I want to know is how in the world you can die from an accidental cut to the calf. Normally the spot to bleed out from is the main artery on the inside of your thigh. Did he sit in a bathtub for an hour? Sudden-onset necrosis and sepsis? What?

Having seen one of these go down, no doubt that the knife was coated with either strychnine, arsenic, or warfarin which is a powerful blood thinner in rat poison.

Braigwen wrote:

grmblfjx wrote:

Surely the only thing that's godawful about this is that there was a cockfight.


What I want to know is how in the world you can die from an accidental cut to the calf. Normally the spot to bleed out from is the main artery on the inside of your thigh. Did he sit in a bathtub for an hour? Sudden-onset necrosis and sepsis? What?

Having seen one of these go down, no doubt that the knife was coated with either strychnine, arsenic, or warfarin which is a powerful blood thinner in rat poison.

Because the chicken isn't capable of killing another chicken without rat poison.

Wait, where did you find an illegal cockfight?

Come to think of it, is there such a thing as a LEGAL cockfight?

Mikey Go WOOGA wrote:

Braigwen wrote:

grmblfjx wrote:

Surely the only thing that's godawful about this is that there was a cockfight.


What I want to know is how in the world you can die from an accidental cut to the calf. Normally the spot to bleed out from is the main artery on the inside of your thigh. Did he sit in a bathtub for an hour? Sudden-onset necrosis and sepsis? What?

Having seen one of these go down, no doubt that the knife was coated with either strychnine, arsenic, or warfarin which is a powerful blood thinner in rat poison.

Because the chicken isn't capable of killing another chicken without rat poison.

Wait, where did you find an illegal cockfight?

Come to think of it, is there such a thing as a LEGAL cockfight?

I watched one from across the street at my grandma's house and listened as the participants accused one of the other guys of coating his cock's feet in rat poison because the winning rooster dropped dead a few minutes after the fight. The accused defended himself by suggesting that the others had coated their cock's feet in the other two chemicals I mentioned. It was very informative.

Then it got broken up by police.

Ooooooooh.


Well it just goes to show (again) that I'm way too harmless to understand... most things, actually.

Well, maybe this will put an end to cockfighting for a little while.

Mikey, there aren't legal cockfights in any of the fifty states anymore (not since Louisiana's ban took effect in 2008), but some US territories, including Puerto Rico, still allow them. And, of course, there are other countries where they're still legal.