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 Haldir at his basest

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Join date : 2011-02-03

PostSubject: Haldir at his basest   Thu Feb 03, 2011 4:50 pm

This is my first post, so if I do this wrong forgive me. I have hunted for this author here and can't find a mention of her and I'm shocked!

I was dinking around AFF looking for something short and fun. What I got was 'Haldir's Baby" which is probably pretty obvious what she dreams of. She has several fic up with little to no reviews and few ratings (of course, they are 5 star) I went to the first fic she posted, oh a year and a half ago (low hits, no ratings or reviews) - aptly named 'The Peep Show' which consisted of many of Tolkien's finest and brightest hiding behind bushes watching Erestor do some impossible things with not one, but TWO Elleths!

Of course, the OFC isn't one of the lucky ladies; she's a 'fiery modern day woman' who's every other word was 'hell'. As in: What the hell? and What the hell? and What the hell? Even with that wonderous littlecoughlittlecough narrow vocabulary, the plot (if you could call it that) as well as the character development was woefully absent.

I left her a very nicely worded Constructive Criticism. I wasn't nasty or rude, I simpy told her her characters needed building and their vocabulary desperately needed to say more than 'What the hell' and she also needed a reaon to swear. Swearing does not make a character 'fiery'.... it simply makes her ignorant and rather boring.

I received a reply. My review - the only one - was deleted and the following message was left for me....

This is a message from the author...if you cant say anything nice say nothing at all...Jersey girl if you are reading this...Kiss off..This story was not meant to be canon and my characters are just fine...buzz off and leave well enough alone...i have plenty of fans without your opinion.

Considering her low hits, ratings, and reviews, i think her 'fans' are in her head. I'm not good at sporking, but I"m sure someone here is bored and in need of a good laugh...

Again, if this is not how this goes about, I apologize and will submit to beating.

She has quite a few... stories... take your pick

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Quite frankly, I'm scared to even OPEN this particular one.

The Lost Princess of Lothlorien
Arlo has a destiny. Her parents sought out Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel for help. An Adoption occurs. After years of absence from Lorien, she returns to do her destiny and finds love with the March warden. AU/AR, M/F, OC, WIP
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Knight of the Bleach
Knight of the Bleach

Join date : 2010-02-15
Age : 38
Location : land of broken dreams

PostSubject: Re: Haldir at his basest   Thu Feb 03, 2011 5:35 pm

Did this author run over your cat or something? Why do you want us to go after her? Why do you think we would? Why do you think that after you have not put any effort into your post that we would consider putting effort into it ourselves?

jerseygirl wrote:
This is my first post, so if I do this wrong forgive me.

You have done it wrong, and there are plenty of other posts around for you to have determined this for yourself, as well as the 'Read Before Posting Sticky.

Regardless, there's nothing bad, that I can see, about any of her stories. If anything, they're staggeringly average...
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Join date : 2011-02-03

PostSubject: Re: Haldir at his basest   Thu Feb 03, 2011 5:45 pm

Besides the fact her grammer is appalling, vocabulary is incredibly limited, an incredible number of partial sentences, and she can't take even the nicest worded crit and when asking around I discovered her 'Lost Princess' fic was originally Celeborn's long lost daughter (Gee, I wonder if Galadriel knows?)... I've seen better fics than anything she's written ripped to shreads. I'm not good at it and I thought someone else would do a better job. Again, my apologies. I'll try to do better the next time.
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Join date : 2009-06-03
Age : 36
Location : TRILOBITE!

PostSubject: Re: Haldir at his basest   Fri Feb 04, 2011 7:04 am

I will be nice for a change, since you were able to take WD40's criticism without pitching a fit, and offer some advice.

1) When looking for crappy fanfic, assume that the people who will be reading your review know next to nothing about the fandom. The fic's crappiness should be apparent to people who have never heard of Lord of the Rings/Harry Potter/Doctor Who/etc. If your only complaint is that So and So is out of character, it doesn't belong here.

2) Show, don't tell. Explain why the fic is bad and quote the relevant lines. At the same time, don't overdo the quotes.

3) Don't attack the author. Nobody cares that s/he's a dumb brat who deleted your incredibly polite thesis on why hir story is shitty. This is not news to us. Stick to criticising the fanfic.

Personal preference:
a) Reviews are better than MST-style snarkings. The latter tend to be very heavy on the quotes and blend into a huge text-wall after a while, especially if the "riffs" aren't particularly funny.

It takes practice to get all this right and make it funny, so don't worry. Follow 1, 2, and 3 and you're almost there.
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