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 Lycan Island: Running With the Pack

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Join date : 2011-01-31
Location : Ohio

PostSubject: Lycan Island: Running With the Pack   Mon Jan 31, 2011 10:00 pm

I can't find a site with actual quotes from the book and I can't lift them from my Kindle(sorry) but I had the unfortunate experience of buying this book

crap


written by this author:

supertard

It was only $.99 cents and I'm cheap, what can I say? Anywho, the story is about a moping 18-year old girl who's "forced" to endure a cruise for her brother's birthday. Since there is zero character background you have no idea why any teenage girl would be so upset about going on a cruise, but she is. Halfway down the first page, the cruise ship hits a snag and by snag: I mean the bitch starts to sink for reasons unknown.

The protagonist is one of the lucky few to survive as they were, obviously, loading the lifeboats Titanic-style; with all the pretty, brooding people getting their own boats while all the ugly, fat, tourists got swallowed by the sea. AND, even though they were floating around in the brutal sun with sharks all about them, this chick(Lexie) has managed to keep her backpack filled with convenient bottles of water and granola bars. She had been moping on the ship and walking around with a fully stocked backpack in case that ship sinks, see.

Lexie keeps most of the people alive until they reach an island where some more people die until wunderkund reveals that she has both matches and lighters in her back pack. She also knows karate and other assorted survivalist skills. Then some more people are killed and eaten by something but we don't know what and the remaining people sit around doing nothing for (shit you not) 3 weeks until said creatures are revealed...

To be hawt guys who changed into woofies and Mary-Sue+Hawt Woofies= shenanigans ensue.

This "plot" is executed with all the beauty of the worst grammar to grace the pages of a published book. Fortunately, it is a short story. Thank you for allowing me to get this off my chest.
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Alhazred
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PostSubject: Re: Lycan Island: Running With the Pack   Mon Jan 31, 2011 11:29 pm

...and naturally, there are five-star reviews gushing about it.
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Vanilla-villa
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PostSubject: Re: Lycan Island: Running With the Pack   Tue Feb 01, 2011 9:01 am

Alhazred wrote:
...and naturally, there are five-star reviews gushing about it.
I dunno, there's only four reviews, maybe it's like that author who kept making new accounts and leaving 5 star 'lol this is great' reviews on her own book on amazon (ok, I've been suspicious of 5 star THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVER reviews since I heard about that).
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Tungsten Monk
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PostSubject: Re: Lycan Island: Running With the Pack   Tue Feb 01, 2011 11:27 am

If she writes anything like she blogs, this ain't gonna be pretty. Here's a summary from the front page of her blog:

Quote :

Two years have passed since one of my curses was broken by Kitchi the strong attractive werewolf. Tristan the wise and gorgeous vampire and I were very happy living in Sirdal. One winter night Silver Fox paid us a visit to tell us about the arrival of a merciless vampire hunter named Grigore Enescu. Ironically his name means "watchful; vigilant". Grigore changed my happy life forever.

My curse returned the moment Kitchi's daughter Kai was born. During a vision I learned why the curse was back. Nahuel the Moon clan's chief wanted our land and war was declared. Hired vampires were soon helping Nahuel.

Will Nahuel win the war and destroy my clan? Or are we going to find allies of our own?

So, it's basically a Twilight fan trying to have her sparkly cake and eat it too. Also: commas, please.
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Alhazred
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PostSubject: Re: Lycan Island: Running With the Pack   Tue Feb 01, 2011 3:41 pm

Vanilla-villa wrote:
Alhazred wrote:
...and naturally, there are five-star reviews gushing about it.
I dunno, there's only four reviews, maybe it's like that author who kept making new accounts and leaving 5 star 'lol this is great' reviews on her own book on amazon (ok, I've been suspicious of 5 star THIS IS THE GREATEST THING EVER reviews since I heard about that).

Tungsten Monk wrote:
If she writes anything like she blogs, this ain't gonna be pretty. Here's a summary from the front page of her blog:

Quote :

Two years have passed since one of my curses was broken by Kitchi the strong attractive werewolf. Tristan the wise and gorgeous vampire and I were very happy living in Sirdal. One winter night Silver Fox paid us a visit to tell us about the arrival of a merciless vampire hunter named Grigore Enescu. Ironically his name means "watchful; vigilant". Grigore changed my happy life forever.

My curse returned the moment Kitchi's daughter Kai was born. During a vision I learned why the curse was back. Nahuel the Moon clan's chief wanted our land and war was declared. Hired vampires were soon helping Nahuel.

Will Nahuel win the war and destroy my clan? Or are we going to find allies of our own?

So, it's basically a Twilight fan trying to have her sparkly cake and eat it too. Also: commas, please.


Let's combine the two: it's the same Twilight fangirl who was surprised to learn she couldn't get her fanfiction published.
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Tungsten Monk
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PostSubject: Re: Lycan Island: Running With the Pack   Tue Feb 01, 2011 4:51 pm

Alhazred wrote:


Let's combine the two: it's the same Twilight fangirl who was surprised to learn she couldn't get her fanfiction published.

Could be, although if so, the writing's gone downhill since then. Maybe she stopped taking her meds.

Oh, and she definitely is writing her own reviews; if you check the product discussions for one of her books, there's a dispute about stolen cover art (big surprise), where the author responds under the tag of "Michael Irish," the same person who gave five of her books five-star reviews.
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