Common Freudian dreams and other things.

WGW, my darlings, I need a little help.

First of all, what would you consider a classic Freudian dream--one of those ones with obvious sex imagery? I have a few too many psychology degrees and have lost all perspective on this burning issue.

Secondly, have any of the WGW cis men ever had a friends with benefits-type relationship. If so, how did it go? How did it make you feel?

I think that's all for now.

Yeah, my novel seems to have turned out to be mostly about sex so far.

A tower collapsing into a deep pit?

Shopping for bananas.

That's the one dream that my teachers always talk about when talking about Freudian dreams.

Had one where I was lost in a forest; does that count?

Also, what's a cis?

Dude, I'm only half-blind. One eye works, the other doesn't. Oxygen damage woot!

And just checking; I honestly had no idea what that meant; thanks for being condescending as always.

Sheba wrote:

Dude, I'm only half-blind. One eye works, the other doesn't. Oxygen damage woot!

And just checking; I honestly had no idea what that meant; thanks for being condescending as always.

It's short for cisgendered and basically means what Ni says. It's not suppose to be a slur, but I have seen it used by gays/lesbians/trans/others as a way of suggesting that since you belong to what's considered the 'norm,' there's no way you could possibly understand what they've gone through (and are still going through). Which is true, but that doesn't mean you can't TRY. I'm not a gay man, but my son is, and I continue to love and support him. Ni and others here on GAFF are lesbian, or bisexual, or transgendered or genderqueer, and their sexuality in no way affects my feelings towards them in the same way that people's race doesn't affect my feelings towards them.

On the other hand, I'm asexual at the moment and, barring a miracle, probably will be for the rest of my life. So what do I know?

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Secondly, have any of the WGW cis men ever had a friends with benefits-type relationship. If so, how did it go? How did it make you feel?

Mine went pretty well and made me feel pretty damn good (getting laid tends to do that when you're not asexual, after all.) Looking for something more specific? Not sure where the TMI point is.

Alhazred wrote:

Quote :

Secondly, have any of the WGW cis men ever had a friends with benefits-type relationship. If so, how did it go? How did it make you feel?

Mine went pretty well and made me feel pretty damn good (getting laid tends to do that when you're not asexual, after all.) Looking for something more specific? Not sure where the TMI point is.

Fuck it, TMI the shit out of this thing.

Yeah, I'm having trouble writing non-queer characters.

bleachedblackcat wrote:

Shopping for bananas.

That's the one dream that my teachers always talk about when talking about Freudian dreams.

That reminds me of a dream my mum told me about once. She dreamed she worked in a shoe shop and her job was to put bananas into little pink slippers.

ZoZo wrote:

Alhazred wrote:

Quote :

Secondly, have any of the WGW cis men ever had a friends with benefits-type relationship. If so, how did it go? How did it make you feel?

Mine went pretty well and made me feel pretty damn good (getting laid tends to do that when you're not asexual, after all.) Looking for something more specific? Not sure where the TMI point is.

Fuck it, TMI the shit out of this thing.

Yeah, I'm having trouble writing non-queer characters.

Here's the thing: people are people. I know everyone has different mannerisms and likes/dislikes, preferences, etc., but people are still people. If you're having trouble with a specific behavior (which nuuuur, you are lol), give us a slice of what you're having trouble with exactly with a thumbnail sketch of the character, and we can tell you if it's believable or not. I mean, it's not like all gay people act a certain way, or all straight men brag about their conquests, or all Asian people are really good at math... I find writing emotionally from a character's POV is a lot easier than trying to write logically if the characters hold different opinions than I, their creator, do. For example, writing about someone in love... easy. Or angry? Very easy. I've been both, so I can draw from that experience, even if I'm writing from a guy's POV on love, or whatnot. Now, writing about diametrically opposed political views? Not so easy. So, send us a slice of text, and maybe we can help with specific mannerisms or phrases or something.

PS--I really want to read some more of y'all's stuff.

Also, as a straight woman, I've had the friends with benefits thing, and it was a matter of sheer practicality. I was perfectly fine with it until he was all "It really sucks being in love with two people" and blah blah blah head games. Up until that point, though, I was told I was very like a guy in the matter. Outside the bedroom, friends and that's all. Inside, wham-bam, ok, I'm having a smoke now GTFO.

Sheba wrote:

And just checking; I honestly had no idea what that meant;

Google?

Maximilia wrote:

Now, writing about diametrically opposed political views? Not so easy.

Not easy because political views tend to suffuse a person's whole outlook on life. You can use the common technique of bringing your own experiences to the table, but 90% of the time they're going to be just that tiny bit off and the little things you notice aren't the same as the little things your character notices. This applies to any deep or fundamental character trait, not just the ones you find in contemporary real life.

Maxi, my darling, I had exactly the same experience!

The thing with this male character is that he believes very strongly in gender roles i.e. that for men it is about conquest and for women it is about Being The Gatekeeper. At the moment, he's coming off like one of the Love Shy guys, so I want to tone him down a few notches so I won't feel bad about him not dying at the end.

The other salient point about him is that he has things that appear to be Freudian dreams but literally happen to him.

In a moment of being frightened of emasculation, one of his teeth fell out.

It doesn't make any more sense in context.

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Fuck it, TMI the shit out of this thing.

Yeah, I'm having trouble writing non-queer characters.

My fuck-buddy was another dude, actually, so my sex life may not be much help after all. I didn't think "cis" included expected "normal" preferences for your gender?

That being said, if you don't have trouble writing queer characters, a little reverse thinking might help. It's often said that the secret to writing homosexuals is that there is no secret, you write them the same as anyone else. The reverse is also true; if you have trouble writing straight characters, write them the exact same way, just remember they like the opposite of what they got.

Nihilist wrote:

Sheba wrote:

Dude, I'm only half-blind. One eye works, the other doesn't. Oxygen damage woot!

And just checking; I honestly had no idea what that meant; thanks for being condescending as always.

Oh, being nice on this board drives me the everloving fuck insane, you know that. People get attached and start loving me and don't let me breathe then go nuts.

And besides, you obviously didn't ask the all-knowing Google Machine and I amount your question to laziness. Laziness is ignorance and condescension, so I don't bother answering kindly. It's no fun playing activist to retards. Been doing that for a long time and it's one of the most unrewarding things ever.

Well then no offense but you kind of suck for that. If you don't want to bother to answer just say so instead of being pissy.

I'n not mad, just saying so that in future no one makes the mistake of asking you anything.

Right, so this male character is coming off more and more like a bit of a dickhead as he also organically turned a bit fat-phobic. He seems to be an amalgam of various things we snarked.

So I decided to run with it. I'd already decided to have one of my other characters, who happens to be fucking him, realise that she is a fictional character in a novel. I can use this guy to be her way in, and she can pick up on his ridiculousness and flat characterisation.

God, it's only day 9 and I've already gone a bit crazy.