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 Something Weird Happened to Me Today

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Lexin
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Thu Nov 18, 2010 7:48 am

Aggie wrote:
Played Assassin's Creed for the first time today. Could not for the life of me find the Save button.
When I played that game, I had to give it up some time during the first level. I could not, no matter how hard I tried, pickpocket. Not nobody, not anything. I was really disappointed as otherwise it was a cracker of a game.
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Jesus.
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Thu Nov 18, 2010 10:06 pm

So this guy that I see everyday at a flat iron kiosk near my job comes over and has the most awkward conversation with me ever. I'm, like, 99.9% sure he's gayer than Christmas morning, and we've never exchanged more than pleasantries.

He comes over out of nowhere on my break, leans on my chair to leer over me, and after some awkward "OMGLOLGOMAKEMEMYDRINK" "NO U" "NO U", he goes in asking me about my BF (which does not exist).

"I'm sure you get all pastries and stuff for your boyfriend"
"No, not exactly."
"So what's your sign."
"I'm a Leo"
"Oh, youre one of those? What about your boyfriend."
"I don't have a boyfriend."
"Why?"
*exasperated* "For many reasons, some sad and pathetic, some quite awesome."
"So what are you going to start with?"
"Well, for one, I can't stand how I seem to attract guys that are constantly on my d!ck, always hovering and texting me and hovering over me--"
"Oh, youre just not a relationship girl. Word of advice, instead of match.com, try manhunt."
And then he literally runs away to his kiosk.

And I walked back to mine, because goddamn that was awkward.

The crap?
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Braigwen
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Thu Nov 18, 2010 10:30 pm

I can not stop writing... gawd damn, Jesus.! Your sig is hypnotizing me!!!
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Jesus.
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Thu Nov 18, 2010 11:53 pm

butt

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butt

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Spoiler:
 
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Sutremaine
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Fri Nov 19, 2010 11:32 am

back muscles
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Braigwen
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Fri Nov 19, 2010 12:30 pm

Left, right, jiggle, jiggle, loop.
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Snake Bandage
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Sat Nov 20, 2010 3:39 pm

I was searching for several forms of the phrase "Israeli children" on Google with the safest search turned on, but somehow several photos of dead children and beheaded terrorists slipped in.

No seriously, how does that happen?
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Penguin
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Sat Nov 20, 2010 7:29 pm

Snake Bandage wrote:
I was searching for several forms of the phrase "Israeli children" on Google with the safest search turned on, but somehow several photos of dead children and beheaded terrorists slipped in.

No seriously, how does that happen?
If you need this explained to you, either you haven't browsed the Internet in the last 15 years, or you're an idiot.
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Jesus.
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Sat Nov 20, 2010 8:26 pm

Penguin wrote:
Snake Bandage wrote:
I was searching for several forms of the phrase "Israeli children" on Google with the safest search turned on, but somehow several photos of dead children and beheaded terrorists slipped in.

No seriously, how does that happen?
If you need this explained to you, either you haven't browsed the Internet in the last 15 years, or you're an idiot.
The fuck crawled up your ass lately?
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Salamas
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Sat Nov 20, 2010 8:47 pm

Penguin wrote:
Snake Bandage wrote:
I was searching for several forms of the phrase "Israeli children" on Google with the safest search turned on, but somehow several photos of dead children and beheaded terrorists slipped in.

No seriously, how does that happen?
If you need this explained to you, either you haven't browsed the Internet in the last 15 years, or you're an idiot.

I believe she means how did something like that end up in safe mode search.
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Braigwen
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Sat Nov 20, 2010 9:14 pm

I was shopping in Randall's earlier today, looking for Chicken Stock for the stuffing. These two older ladies are busy holding the most openly hostel idle conversation I had heard. No threats mind you, just the tone. Wow...

Well, apparently they were both looking for the same thing; Wolfgang Puck brand Organic Chicken Broth. And there was only one on the shelf. One of the ladies grabs the chicken broth and no sooner does she put it in her basket then the other lady snatches it right back out and sticks it in her basket.

I'm watching this like OxO as the two old women fight it out over who gets the last chicken broth.

Well, right then, this cute guy just sucks his teeth at them.

"Ladies!" And he sounds like what the typical gay man on TV sounds like. "There's more of that over here." And he points to a whole shelf, right behind the two old women, stocked full of the same chicken broth they were fighting over.

I can't stop laughing as the two ladies are forced to apologize and then greedily load their baskets up with as many of the chicken broths they can and then run.

I'm like; "Wow... and they complain about us young people having no respect."

And the guy was like "Ugh... You have no idea. The one that looked like Octogenarian Barbie had an affair with Paris Hilton? That was my aunt."

I have never laughed so hard in my life.
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Penguin
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Sat Nov 20, 2010 9:54 pm

Jesus. wrote:
Penguin wrote:
Snake Bandage wrote:
I was searching for several forms of the phrase "Israeli children" on Google with the safest search turned on, but somehow several photos of dead children and beheaded terrorists slipped in.

No seriously, how does that happen?
If you need this explained to you, either you haven't browsed the Internet in the last 15 years, or you're an idiot.
The fuck crawled up your ass lately?
Three dozen Pokemon.
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Braigwen
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Sat Nov 20, 2010 11:03 pm

Penguin wrote:
Jesus. wrote:
Penguin wrote:
Snake Bandage wrote:
I was searching for several forms of the phrase "Israeli children" on Google with the safest search turned on, but somehow several photos of dead children and beheaded terrorists slipped in.

No seriously, how does that happen?
If you need this explained to you, either you haven't browsed the Internet in the last 15 years, or you're an idiot.
The fuck crawled up your ass lately?
Three dozen Pokemon.

Pix or it didn't happen. Colbert
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GamemasterAnthony
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:45 am

Okay, so I was playing Maple Story last night...

SHUT IT!!! I don't want to hear about it being a kiddy game when it isn't!

Anyways...apparently, my childhood came calling that night. I saw another user whose name made me do a virtual double-take. His name...was "BumbeLion". Yes...after the Wuzzle of the same name.

Turns out he was fan of Wuzzles when it was on. I had to REALLY test him on his fandom though. I asked whether he saw the Dixie Chicks video that had Moosel in it, and he said yeah. He also mentioned that other people probably saw him and asked "WTF is THAT?!?" I had to agree.

Nice to see certain references haven't QUITE reached total obscurity yet.
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Penguin
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Wed Nov 24, 2010 8:22 am

GamemasterAnthony wrote:
Okay, so I was playing Maple Story last night...

SHUT IT!!! I don't want to hear about it being a kiddy game when it isn't!

Anyways...apparently, my childhood came calling that night.
[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
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Maximilia
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Wed Nov 24, 2010 2:17 pm

Ooooookay. My new upstairs neighbor just suddenly started shouting, "ALRIGHT! COME ON! LET'S DO THIS ASSHOLE!"

I thought he was alone... so my first thought was that he was talking to his body parts.

EDIT: Oh, come on Mr. Redneck. Don't make me call the cops. ><
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Tungsten Monk
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Wed Nov 24, 2010 2:54 pm

I just realized that God is a ninja.

Think about it: no one's ever seen his face (even Moses was only allowed to see his back); he's obscenely powerful, ancient, and wise; he's literally everywhere at once, which means he's fast as hell; he loves him some vengeance; and if you fuck with him, you're going to be taken down so hard that your grandparents will develop retroactive ball-aches. Oh, and a lot of people believe he doesn't exist. I'm Catholic, but this is a religious schism I could totally get behind. Yeah
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Braigwen
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Wed Nov 24, 2010 3:13 pm

Tungsten Monk wrote:
I just realized that God is a ninja.

Think about it: no one's ever seen his face (even Moses was only allowed to see his back); he's obscenely powerful, ancient, and wise; he's literally everywhere at once, which means he's fast as hell; he loves him some vengeance; and if you fuck with him, you're going to be taken down so hard that your grandparents will develop retroactive ball-aches. Oh, and a lot of people believe he doesn't exist. I'm Catholic, but this is a religious schism I could totally get behind. Yeah

I love you so fucking much right now!
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Sutremaine
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Wed Nov 24, 2010 4:09 pm

Nihilist wrote:
Do not walk like you're crushing your balls
...Bent double? scratch

No seriously, what does that look like?
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Jesus.
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Wed Nov 24, 2010 6:21 pm

I could be an epic drag king but my body would make it impossible to pass. xD
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GamemasterAnthony
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Sun Nov 28, 2010 11:49 am

*snerk* Crap...I should've wrote that out differently. Thanks for the giggle, Penguin!

Anyways...last night I got PWNed...by a FORTUNE COOKIE! You know how you can usually add the words "in bed" to any fortune cookie fortune and it will usually end up making the fortune sound a bit slanted? My fortune was...

"You will have a good night's sleep."

It was as if the comapny that made the forutne cookies knew about that "in bed" thing and added that forutne to mess with people who do that! I feel robbed...
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Penguin
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Sun Nov 28, 2010 12:37 pm

Tungsten Monk wrote:
I just realized that God is a ninja.

Think about it: no one's ever seen his face (even Moses was only allowed to see his back); he's obscenely powerful, ancient, and wise; he's literally everywhere at once, which means he's fast as hell; he loves him some vengeance; and if you fuck with him, you're going to be taken down so hard that your grandparents will develop retroactive ball-aches. Oh, and a lot of people believe he doesn't exist. I'm Catholic, but this is a religious schism I could totally get behind. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

If he grows beyond a Trinity he's dangerously at risk to falling victim to the Inverse Ninja Law.
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Miss Misery
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Sun Nov 28, 2010 8:22 pm

My sister tried to give me two pairs of jeans that don't fit her.

The jeans were size 18. I wear an 8 or a 10.

WTF???
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Ratchetmon
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Mon Nov 29, 2010 8:29 am

I just realized that taking a dump feels similar to popping a zit.
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EileenK98
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PostSubject: Re: Something Weird Happened to Me Today   Mon Nov 29, 2010 6:37 pm

I had a dream last night that I was wandering through a stranger's house, and I looked at some of their photos and realized that I was in them, because they knew someone I'm related to. But the people weren't home for me to tell them this.
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