Doc Brown rapes Bill Nye. No, really.

This fanfiction is so bad, I am going to have to open with a little explanation of why it's not a troll fic, which I honestly would have thought it was, had I not looked up the author. This person writes almost exclusively Back to the Future slash. Yes. And not just a little. Most of it is Doc Brown/Marty McFly. This gem, however, is Doc Brown/Bill Nye the Science Guy. At no point does the author imply that this is a joke. They have also written a bunch of other fanfics involving Doc Brown and Bill Nye. I don't know either.

And yes, all their writing has this level of grammatical quality. though their fanfiction on LiveJournal seems to be slightly less horrible than the stuff on ff.net. I'd think it was a troll if they didn't comment all over the bloody place in the Back to the Future slash community (I was morbidly curious) and have so much writing. I'm guessing it's more of an ESL problem, not that that's any excuse.

Also, take a look at their name. bttfmjffan. That seems like gibberish at first, until you realize it's an amalgamation of BTTF (Back to the Future) and MJF (Michael J. Fox), who isn't even in this story.

Quote :

Doc Brown had since a month a new assistant: Bill Nye the science guy. He is a clever young man, much younger as Doc, but intelligent as his friend. For this reason Doc can´t him like.

ME AM DOC BROWN. ME DID GOOD SCIENTIST. ME AM HAVE PH.D. FROM HARVARD.

Quote :

Ago 3 days when he conduct a new experimet, Doc frighten him nearly to death, grabbed his wrists and slapped him in the face.

I hate to say it, but I would watch the shit out of a video of Doc Brown bitchslapping Bill Nye the Science Guy.

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Doc is mean to him. He slapped Bill every time when he make alleged mistakes, they´re not are wrong.

Our hero, ladies and gentlemen!

Quote :

But in reality, Doc was the stupid person. And today should be the worst day for Bill Nye.

No, Doc, you are the stupid.

Quote :

"Science guy, what are you doing here? I want an explanation for this."

Does he call all his assistants "science guy?" Wouldn't that get confusing after a while?

Unless Nye had the TV show in this universe, too... which just raises more questions than it answers.

Actually, the more I think about it, the more I want that phrase to get popular. Get on it.

Quote :

"Why are you still here? I will that you leave my lab immediately!"

"I don´t understand why…"

"Shut up. Don´t speak a word while I´m talking to you. Leave my lab."

Awww, true love. It's like puppies in spring.

Quote :

"Then you would be punished, Bill", Doc said and took a step closer to him. "I´ll give you one hour, if you´re then not leaving…", he hesitated a moment, …well, what should I do with you? I already know it, but… you´ll see." Doc looked at him with a very evil expression on his face. Then he turned around and went out the lab.

Bill gulped, staring at the door. ´Oh my god´, he thought ´should I go or stay here until 10.00 A.M?´

Today's weather forecast: sunny with a chance of anal rape.

Quote :

The watch on his wrist advertised 9.20. A.M. 40 minutes and he know it, because he wouldn´t go. His new experiment, an efficient model from a solar house is nearly finished. He must it just build together.

Coincidentally, the solar house puts out precisely 1.21 gigawatts of power.

Quote :

Doc grabbed his arm. "I don´t care, essential you disapear, or…" He pressed his body against Bill, grasped his neck and kissed him furiously. Bill wanted to run away, but he can´t, Doc´s hands are too strong and he can´t escape.

Hang on, when did Doc Brown turn into Rorschach? Or maybe he's Rorcash. You know what? This actually explains so much more than it should.

Quote :

Doc grabbed his bow-tie while he pushed his tongue into Bill´s mouth. "Why is he kissing me", the science guy thought ,"he still hate me."

ME NO AM HATE YOU, SCIENCE GUY. ME AM LOVE.

DOC SMASH.

Quote :

He felt Doc´s hands touching his ass, then they moved between his legs. He opened Bill´s pants quickly, then undoing his own and pressing his hips aainst the younger scientist. Bill gasped. "What are you´ll doing with me?"

A evil grin appeared on Doc´s face. "I don´t say it, but you would like it." Just as Doc pulled his pants down his hips, Bill know what he would do to him: He would rape him.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

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"Doc! Go off of me or I´ll poison you with chemical substances", he said with a loud voice.

"Like uh... damn it I can't think of any! But I will! Seriously!"

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"I hate you!" Bill screamed. He feel Doc´s hips pressing forward, then a sharp pain as Doc entered him without preparation.

"Ouch, Doc… that hurts."

"It should, because you´re stupid."

Remember: anal rape is only painful for stupid people.

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Bill cringed as he thrusted fully into him, filling him. Suddenly, he felt something indescrible inside him and that was no pain, but a beautiful feeling. He moaned with pleasure and Doc´s fingers ran through Bill´s hair.

I hate to make jokes about battered wife syndrome, but...

I read last week how there are more than one million battered women in the United States each year.

All these years I've been eating them raw.

ZING!

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Now he know he had annoyed him and would to make it good. "Bill", he said with an apologized voice, "it´s all my fault that you must suffer, but it´s not the right moment. Oh god, Doc."

And, as if we needed any more evidence of Doc Brown's complete psychological meltdown, he just moaned his own name.

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Their moans become louder. The younger scietist fidget under him, laying his face onto the table. As he reached his orgasm, his whole body was cramped and with a last thrust from Doc, he groaned out his name. He feel hit liquid is flowing into him and Doc pulled slowly out of him.

"Hit liquid." Dear god, Doc Brown's penis dispenses steroids!

Quote :

"Doc", he whispered, turned around and kissed him passionately. Doc´s hands passed lightly over his back and moving further down. His fingers touched lightly his tight entrance.

"Bill, you´re bleeding a little."

"Don´t worry, I´m fine."

RAPE IS KAWAII DESU.

Quote :

"Are you sure?" he asked as he pulled his pants up.

"Yes."

"Good. Is there something what I can do for you?"

Bill nodded. "Can you hug me?"

See? That makes everything okay! Really! IT'S OKAY GOD DAMN IT.

Quote :

"Yes", he answered, throwing his arms around him.

Ow.

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He rested his face on Doc´s shoulder and closed his eyes. Bill was glad that Doc changed his opinion.

"Bill, you can stay here. Forever."

He gave Doc a long kiss as response.

THE END

Murder-suicides.

Here, have their profile image. It's a present from me to you. Because I love you.
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So this fic is saying butt-rape is ok if they fall in love afterwards?

Ya know what? fine! sure.

Is it wrong that my major problem with this fic is the lack of proper spelling and grammar?

Also I have now had my childhood memories of Back to the Future and Bill Nye the Science Guy crushed.

The pairing itself had me laughing harder than anything else

I'm pretty sure the pervasive bad grammar is because English isn't the author's first language.

But that's no excuse for this fic. Holy shit.

The random "rape magically turns into thu wub" shitfic classic has always disturbed me, but this one is just so absurd. And that profile image. And it's even more cracking that the author of this fic probably finds it sexy.

Ahahahaha, the bad grammar really softened the blow with this one. I mean sure, it was probably disgusting when 'Doc entered him without preparation', but I was laughing so much I honestly couldn't tell.

Dr. Professor Science wrote:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

This is Doc Brown's rape face?

The mental image only makes the story better worse.

(also, how the hell did you find this fic?)

I found it because a bunch of friends and I were streaming Back to the Future and I got it in my head to creep them/myself out by finding slash of it. The popular pairings are Marty McFly/Doc Brown and Marty McFly/his dad in the past. I don't regret looking at all because this fic is a fucking classic.

I love this freaking fic to bits. It just fails on every conceivable level. It doesn't have a single redeeming characteristic. Most badfic at least has something normal to it that the author hasn't completely screwed up, but every single part of this fanfic is ridiculous.

Dr. Professor Science wrote:

The popular pairings are Marty McFly/Doc Brown and Marty McFly/his dad in the past.

Dr. Professor Science wrote:

The popular pairings are Marty McFly/Doc Brown and Marty McFly/his dad in the past.

Dr. Professor Science wrote:

Marty McFly/his dad in the past.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Dr. Professor Science wrote:

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I must agree.

Oww, my childhood.




When I was about six or seven I shipped Ms. Frizzle/Bill Nye.

WD40 wrote:

[Doc Brown picture]

My sentiments precisely. That's actually the more popular of the two pairings, to boot.

My childhood...

Dr. Professor Science wrote:

WD40 wrote:

[Doc Brown picture]

My sentiments precisely. That's actually the more popular of the two pairings, to boot.

I am not surprised in the least.

Oh, slashfans. The sheer batshit insanity of you people makes me ashamed to have anything to do with you.

Dr. Professor Science wrote:

I love this freaking fic to bits. It just fails on every conceivable level. It doesn't have a single redeeming characteristic.

It is pretty awesome. Like that Princess Leia/ Optimus Prime fic only not a troll.

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

Dr. Professor Science wrote:

I love this freaking fic to bits. It just fails on every conceivable level. It doesn't have a single redeeming characteristic.

It is pretty awesome. Like that Princess Leia/ Optimus Prime fic only not a troll.

Link?

Sometimes I wonder to myself why I don't try to get into fandom anymore. Then there's a fic like this to remind me of the batshit insane people plaguing many fandoms that would interest me, and how I wouldn't want to be even distantly associated.

Ohmygod I laughed so hard. This is an instant classic. :D

Nihilist's post made me look up the theme song to Bill Nye. Then I remembered the fic and the joy went away somewhat.

I think it says something about the way my brain works that before you explained the author's name, I somehow managed to parse it as "buttmuffinjam" with three vowels removed.

?????
WOW....

Quote :

"You will have to jump over my dead corpse!" and Optimus run at Megatron's direction, shooting blaster projectiles. Megatron runs to a secret chamber and Optius go behind. But it's a TRAP! Optimus get stuck into a titanium metal bar cages, and Megatron brags:

"Now Optimus, you will be my finaceer! Will help to pay my Death Satellite to kill the earth!"

I think that is the most awesome bit on dialogue and action in that can of worm shit.
The bit with JarJar's wang being grafted to Prime's body was weird though.
The Robosex was worse.

Observed wrote:

?????
WOW....


I think that is the most awesome bit on dialogue and action in that can of worm shit.
The bit with JarJar's wang being grafted to Prime's body was weird though.
The Robosex was worse.

Yeah. That is the same guy who did the Snape/Teletubbies fic and a few others that have been snarked here. He is, like, the evil mad genius of crossover porn and snuff.

I just liked the part with R2D2 going up and down the elevator.

(Sorry for the threadjack, this fic honestly reminded me of this other fic for some reason I cannot explain)

GREAT SCOTT!

Reepicheep-chan wrote:

Yeah. That is the same guy who did the Snape/Teletubbies fic and a few others that have been snarked here. He is, like, the evil mad genius of crossover porn and snuff.

I just liked the part with R2D2 going up and down the elevator.

(Sorry for the threadjack, this fic honestly reminded me of this other fic for some reason I cannot explain)

I remember those stories. Snape: Professor and Lover is a strange classic. Doomsday Womb is rofltastic too. I could've done without Scooby Doo and the Trip of Lust though, it's almost as bad as that one fic of Timmy from Fairly OddParents doing it with a petunia. I'm not sure I even wanna dig up the link to that last one...

[quote="Vilecat]it's almost as bad as that one fic of Timmy from Fairly OddParents doing it with a petunia. I'm not sure I even wanna dig up the link to that last one...[/quote]

I have to see this. I don't know if I want to, but I have to.