Harry Potter is gay? The 'new' epilogue

My very first snark

You can find the fic (if you can call it that) here

Quote :

I don't like the end of Book 7 of Harry Potter... For me this is how
should it endHarry Potter is now married to Euan Abercrombie a
Gryffindor student who enters Hogwarts in Harry's fifth year
Ronald James Potter,
Serius Severus Albus Potter,
Lilian Hermione Potter,
Hermione Granger is now married to Draco Malfoy whom she
lived happily with 2 sons
Harry Draco Malfoy
Severus Ronald Malfoy
Ronald Weasley is now married to Parvati Patil whom live
comfortably with 3 children
Padma Molly Weasley
Hermione Genvieve Weasley
Harry Ronald Weasley

And this is the entire body of the 'story'. Which is why i had so much difficulty in not exposing the whole thing.

Quote :

Harry Potter is now married to Euan Abercrombie

Oh dear someone better tell the Daily Prophet that Harry's turned gay as Euan happens to be a male name. Euan comes from the name Ewan which is a boys name.

Quote :

Ronald James Potter
Serius Severus Albus Potter
Lilian Hermione Potter

with assbabies.

This person read the book but can't spell Sirius' name? And Lily was named after a flower she was not called Lilian and I think it's actually spelt Lillian anyway [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

And of course this isn't confusing whatsoever is it?

Quote :

Harry Potter
Harry Ronald Weasley
Harry Draco Malfoy

Yes because Malfoy and Harry are the best of buds now. However I doubt even if they were that Malfoy would name his son after Harry.
Also if Harry is still alive why would Ron name his son after his bestfriend too?

Quote :

Ronald Weasley
Ronald James Potter

If Ron is still alive why would Harry name his son after his
bestfriend?

Quote :

Hermione Granger
Hermione Genvieve Weasley

Oh deary me. Two Her-My-O-Ninnies how utterly confusing boring.

This author (if you can call her that) lacks an imagination as all of the next generation of Hogwarts students are all named after characters already in the books.

Her other 'story' is even shorter than this one.

Harry being supposedly gay in this story isn't bad. What's bad (and just plainly fucking ridiculous) is that his husband's surname is Abercrombie. Really, now?

Bamshalam wrote:

Harry being supposedly gay in this story isn't bad. What's bad (and just plainly fucking ridiculous) is that his husband's surname is Abercrombie. Really, now?

I think he's actually one of the multitude of canonical named extras in the series. Who, if he entered school in Harry's fifth year, is probably underage when this is set. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

The question is, is the author even aware that Euan is a man's name? She may honestly think it's a woman (mistaking it for Eowyn in LOTR, which is pronounced pretty much the same way). Which would mean the babies were born by the usual means, though, as szaleniec pointed out, she'd be underage. So Harry's not gay, but he is a pedophile.

And why would you name your children after your friends (and enemies)? I can't think of one person I knew in school who ever named one of their kids after someone they were friends with. It'd just make it confusing; especially with all the Harry's running around.

I love how everyone else is living "happily" but Ron has to settle for living "comfortably"

DH is easily my least-favourite book in the eptalogy, but I fail to see how a replacement consisting of three missspelled sentences and a list of baby names would be considered an improvement over the original.

Rabid Badger wrote:

The question is, is the author even aware that Euan is a man's name? She may honestly think it's a woman (mistaking it for Eowyn in LOTR, which is pronounced pretty much the same way). Which would mean the babies were born by the usual means, though, as szaleniec pointed out, she'd be underage. So Harry's not gay, but he is a pedophile.

I thought Eowyn was pronounced Ay-oh-when, correct me if I'm wrong. In which case it's pretty much not pronounced the same as Euan which is You-wan. Also, Nicola, I'm pretty sure that it is Ewan which is the variant on Euan, coming from the name Eoghan, rather than the other way around.

Also, if the author isn't aware that it's a boys name, s/he didn't read the fifth book terribly carefully as the Harry Potter Wiki has a pretty good description of him from both the sorting and later in the year.

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]
This chart elucidates everything.

Chaltab wrote:

This chart elucidates everything.

Thank you - it makes it all so clear.
I even printed the chart and made a pinwheel out of it to help me realise visually how the series actually revolves around Euan. [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

Never change, HP fandom...

I don't think this even qualifies as a story, it just looks like a mishmash of names of the main characters? How unimaginative can you get...

Euan Ambercrombie is actually a canon character. Hes mentioned once, and is a first year sorted into Gryffindor in book 5, like this 'story' says.

so, I don't know why this 'author' was stoked on a once-mentioned-in-passing character, but the names of the kids are whats really retarded.
more retarded than the name "Albus-Severus" sadly.

It's Harry Potter fandom. Remember when Blaise was a white girl? Then he actually had somethng to do with the story and was revealed to be a black boy? Remember the wanking?
Or how characters named once in passing are suddenly the most important ever? Like that time Draco and Blaise had a bet on who could date Daphne first? Of course in canon Draco did marry Daphne's sister. I think.

karmyn31 wrote:

Remember when Blaise was a white girl? Then he actually had somethng to do with the story and was revealed to be a black boy? Remember the wanking?

I do remember Blaise being mistaken for a girl all the time. I don't remember any wank about it though, please elaborate.

grmblfjx wrote:

karmyn31 wrote:

Remember when Blaise was a white girl? Then he actually had somethng to do with the story and was revealed to be a black boy? Remember the wanking?

I do remember Blaise being mistaken for a girl all the time. I don't remember any wank about it though, please elaborate.

IIRC, the wank occurred after he finally appeared on screen and was revealed to a a black boy. All the shippers who'd already hooked him up iwth someone important (Harry, Draco, Snape, whatever), spent endless hours complaining about how JK Rowling had 'mislead them' by giving him what was basically a unisex name. Though I always assumed Blaise was a boy's name, and I haven't even read the books.

Rabid Badger wrote:

grmblfjx wrote:

karmyn31 wrote:

Remember when Blaise was a white girl? Then he actually had somethng to do with the story and was revealed to be a black boy? Remember the wanking?

I do remember Blaise being mistaken for a girl all the time. I don't remember any wank about it though, please elaborate.

IIRC, the wank occurred after he finally appeared on screen and was revealed to a a black boy. All the shippers who'd already hooked him up iwth someone important (Harry, Draco, Snape, whatever), spent endless hours complaining about how JK Rowling had 'mislead them' by giving him what was basically a unisex name. Though I always assumed Blaise was a boy's name, and I haven't even read the books.

that sounds retarded, as Im pretty sure somewhere in book 5 or 6 J.K says its a guy... at least, I think so, since I never once in my life thought it was a girl.

In book six he's part of Slughorn's club.
How could Rowling mislead readers about a character who had nothing to do with the story until book six and was mentioned only as the last person to be sorted in book one?
Fangirls are idiots.