Take out the trash? Fuck you! *kills parents* *is fourteen*

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Quote :

MONTE VISTA, Colo. -- A 14-year-old boy told investigators he killed his mother and stepfather because he didn't want to do household chores, then spent the evening watching movies and playing on a computer.

"Oh man, my parents are dead! I can stay up ALL NIGHT! No more bed time~, no more bed time~!"

Quote :

Authorities have charged John Caudle as an adult in the Oct. 26 slayings of 34-year-old Joanne Rinebarger and 38-year-old Tracy Rinebarger. Caudle faces several charges, including two counts of first-degree murder.

Because these were clearly the actions of someone with full knowledge of the ramifications of his actions.

Quote :

In an arrest affidavit, Caudle told investigators he took two .22 caliber pistols from a gun safe and shot his mother after the two argued. Caudle said he then hid in a laundry room and shot his stepfather when he walked past a short time later.

I knew it. The kid's a fuckin' camper, too.

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e: aww my picture is less relevant than I was lead to believe

Jeesuz H. Christ, what kind of chores was this kid being asked to do? Clean out the lakes of fire? Make sure Lucifer is nice and refrigerated? Take Cerebus for his walk?

There is a screw loose in this kid's head. A few bolts too.

I'm going to go out on a craaaaazy limb here and say maybe there's ~More To This Story~

Mystique wrote:

I'm going to go out on a craaaaazy limb here and say maybe there's ~More To This Story~

Probably. But the thought of some 14-year-old cleaning up after Cerebus was too much of a giggle.

Pssst. Cerberus.

It depends on the interpretation, really.

Aw, really? I even googled it. GOOGLE, WHY DID I FAIL AT IT SOOOOO

Sorry, Lapin.

And this is why guns in people's houses are SUCH A GOOD IDEA. After all, who really wants to do chores?

Quote :

Caudle said he then hid in a laundry room and shot his stepfather when he walked past a short time later.

Spoiler:

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\Approves

John Caudle took a gun,
Shot his mom 'til she was done
'Cause he'd gone a little feral,
He gave it to dad with both barrels

(Too soon?)

Lapin wrote:

John Caudle took a gun,
Shot his mom 'til she was done
'Cause he'd gone a little feral,
He gave it to dad with both barrels

(Too soon?)

'CAUSE YOU CAN'T SHOOT YOUR DADDY UP IN COOO-LORADO!
AND THEN PLAY VID'YO GAMES INTO THE NIGHT (INTO THE NIGHT!)
CAN'T SHOOT YOUR DADDY UP IN COOO-LORADO
SOMETHING IN HIS HEAD JUST ISN'T RIGHT

...actually I'm probably the only one who knows that song so there's not much point in parody. Hmm.

Miss Prince wrote:

Lapin wrote:

John Caudle took a gun,
Shot his mom 'til she was done
'Cause he'd gone a little feral,
He gave it to dad with both barrels

(Too soon?)

'CAUSE YOU CAN'T SHOOT YOUR DADDY UP IN COOO-LORADO!
AND THEN PLAY VID'YO GAMES INTO THE NIGHT (INTO THE NIGHT!)
CAN'T SHOOT YOUR DADDY UP IN COOO-LORADO
SOMETHING IN HIS HEAD JUST ISN'T RIGHT

...actually I'm probably the only one who knows that song so there's not much point in parody. Hmm.

I got the parody. But yeah, most people don't seem to know the song, sadly.

What?

Lizzie Borden took an axe,
Gave her mother forty whacks,
When she saw what she had done,
She gave her father forty-one.

People don't know that?

Silly kid. Surely he'd have to clean up the corpses after that, and that's way more effort.

Actually I read that there's serious debate over whether Lizzie Borden DID do the murders. After all, it would involve the very slight Lizzie using a wood axe - NOT a good mellee weapon - to overpower two people and then hack them to death, both of whom were larger than her.

There were other questions involved too, but I can't be bothered to go upstairs and get the book right now.

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

I can't be bothered

Please just say this instead of whatever you're thinking of posting in the future.

Lapin wrote:

What?

Lizzie Borden took an axe,
Gave her mother forty whacks,
When she saw what she had done,
She gave her father forty-one.

People don't know that?

No, people know that. Miss Prince and I were referring to this song

Sparrow wrote:

I got the parody. But yeah, most people don't seem to know the song, sadly.

Yay! I'm not alone anymore!

Penguin wrote:

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

I can't be bothered

Please just say this instead of whatever you're thinking of posting in the future.

Just leave her alone. It's not like we don't all know she just pounds her forehead against the keyboard and clicks 'send'.

Penguin wrote:

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

I can't be bothered

Please just say this instead of whatever you're thinking of posting in the future.

The Ignore option Penguin. It is a beautiful thing.

Miss Prince wrote:

Sparrow wrote:

I got the parody. But yeah, most people don't seem to know the song, sadly.

Yay! I'm not alone anymore!

I know it, too.

Quoted from memory:

Some folks say she didn't do it
And others say of course she did!
But they all agree Miss Lizzie B. was a problem kind of kid.

Lapin wrote:

Penguin wrote:

Harley Quinn hyenaholic wrote:

I can't be bothered

Please just say this instead of whatever you're thinking of posting in the future.

The Ignore option Penguin. It is a beautiful thing.

It would be if posts from Ignored users didn't result in topics being marked New, or notifications being sent to my inbox.

Man I derail threads without even TRYING now.

Now can we PLEASE get back to discussing how it's a bad idea to have guns in the house and how some people STILL think the King of England is gonna try and take over America.

Or alternatively they think that the guns in the house could be used to overthrow the US government if it turned into a dictatorship which is even DUMBER because it's a shadow's width from being that already but nobody's suggested an uprising.

And what does Lizzie Borden have to do with this?