When I think Monty Python, I think GAY RAPE

Silencing Mike, a Monty Python gangbang rape fic. I am serious.

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Warnings: Hardcore, maybe non-con? Well, not really, but it starts out that way. ^_~

Rape is KAWAII

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“I wonder if he is this talkative when getting fucked in the ass,” Graham wondered as he was pouring the coffee into his mug.

LOL hes gay and gay people talk about raping each other right? right??

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“Well, we don’t know that now, but we can always figure that out,” John grinned.
Now it was the group’s turn to stare at John.
“What do you mean by that?” Terry G. asked apprehensively.
“Maybe we should try it out and test Gray’s theory,” John explained. “I have a plan...”

IN THE 1970s EVERYONE WAS COMFORTABLE WITH GAY RAPE

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He slowly opened his eyes and found himself blindfolded. He moved his hand to remove the blindfold to find his hands tied to the head of the bed. He was rendered practically helpless.

He started to panic. Where was he? Why was he tied up like this? He then realized he was naked as well. What the fuck… Someone actually had the audacity to strip him while he was asleep. 

HA HA HA THIS IS HOW FRIENDS PLAY WITH EACH OTHER :3

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Mike gasped as he felt the bed incline a little, indicating the person climbed up onto the bed. Unexpectedly, the figure laid on top of him. Mike started to thrash under the figure, and discovered with horror that the figure was also naked. 

“W-what are you doing?” Mike demanded, fear evident in his voice.

“We're going to play checkers~!” 8D

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Michael’s back powerfully arched and yelled out something incomprehensible. Oh, God, he didn’t expect that, and he was fearful of what the man was going to do next with his hole.

Okay, they'll play golf, then.

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He then pushed further, until he was fully sheathed in the writhing form beneath him.

And all I can think of is someone sticking his dick in a worm.

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His internal muscles violently squeezed the man’s cock when he came, and he gasped as he came as well, filling Michael’s hole spurt after spurt. 

N-not golf? D:

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“Damn, you’re so talkative even in bed,” the man whispered to him. 

I CAN'T RECOGNISE THE VOICE OF THE GUY I WORK WITH EVERY DAY.

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When his cock was rock hard, he positioned it at Michael’s already fucked hole and rammed in. Michael screamed at the assault.

Well, you have to give them credit for being honest and using the phrase “fuck hole”.

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His ass was a little sore

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The man leaned forward until his face was near Michael’s ear and whispered, “Slut.” He then got off the bed and went out while another man came in. Michael’s ears rang with the word “slut,” his mind repeating that word over and over again in his mind. He was a slut. Naked on the bed, being fucked twice now, he was a typical whore, and he liked it.

Years later, he's going to recount this tale to a therapist before blowing his brains out.

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His assailant swirled his tongue all around inside Michael, and he sucked at his hole, feasting on the cum inside of him. 

IT IS DELICIOUS CUM, YOU MUST EAT IT.

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“Ohhh, GOOOOODD!!!” Michael screamed as he came into the man’s mouth, and his captor swallowed every drop. When Michael’s climax subsided, the man moved back up and kissed Michael, allowing Michael to taste his own cum. The then pulled away and got off the bed.

Analingus followed by kissing is sanitary and sexy.

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His assailant then stopped and moved back up. He rolled Michael over onto his stomach and started to press his cock into Michael’s already stretched hole. 

“Oh bugger,” said Michael Palin as he was rammed up the ass.

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“Uuggh, ugh,” Michael moaned, the large penis stretching and filling him even further. 

ME AM MICHAEL. ME WANT BUTTFUCKING.

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Finally, his whole cock was in Michael, and he started to thrust.

“Surprise!” said Rapist as he boned young Michael up the ass.

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Michael opened his eyes to find himself back in his room, in his pajamas. He looked out the window and saw that it was morning. He glanced at the clock, which read 7:15. Shit! He was going to be late for rehearsal. He jumped out of bed, then collapsed back on it as the soreness of his backside took him by surprise. He regrouped for a second, then jumped back up and quickly got dressed. 

This is what I care about after RAPE.

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“Slut.”
Michael froze and spun around. Terry was hurriedly walking towards the group, who were all lined up watching them. Michael stared after him, then to the rest of his friends. Did he hear that right? Slut? It then donned on him.
“Oh, God.”

Dun dun DUNNNNN

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Thank you, thank you. No applause, please. 

I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN YOUR WHORE MOUTH.

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With his climax over, the man stayed in Michael for a couple of seconds longer before slowly pulling out. Michael breathed hard from exhaustion, his slightly long hair and bangs sticking to his sweaty face.

"Aw come on, it's just a flesh wound!"

I know very little about Monty Python, but....WIGGA WHUT NOW?!

I think this was in Golden Oldies back on the original GAFF board, because I definitely remember it from somewhere. It was appalling then, and it remains appalling now; especially in light of the recent Monty Python documentary on IFC.

Now, I've noticed a tendency for this site to get rather silly. Now I do my best to keep things moving along, but I'm not having things getting silly. Those two last snarks you did got very silly indeed, and that last one about the Farfalla was even sillier. Now, nobody likes a good laugh more than I do...except perhaps the admin and some of his friends...oh yes and theweirdkind. Come to think of it most people likes a good laugh more than I do. But that's beside the point. Now, let's have a good clean healthy outdoor thread. Get some air into your lungs. Ten, nine, eight and all that.

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He jumped out of bed, then collapsed back on it as the soreness of his backside took him by surprise. He regrouped for a second, then jumped back up and quickly got dressed.

So when you wake up covered in sweat and other people's semen, you should just get dressed and leave for work? Not, for example, have a bath or shower first? I sometimes think sex authors are about as hygienic as medieval peasants.